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#1
I made this one a few weeks ago "Hey baby, lets race to my house,k first one there gets to have sex with me."


"did you swallow a mirror, because I can see myself up your ass"

"if I had a rooster, you had a donkey, and your donkey ate my rooster, what would we have? My cokc in your ass"


"if three tampons are walking sown the street, min, maxi and super, which one says hello? None, they were all stuck up bitches."

Your turn.
#2
Quote by greyfade
I made this one a few weeks ago "Hey baby, lets race to my house,k first one there gets to have sex with me."


What if you won?
#3
Guy: "Did it hurt?"
Gal: "Did what hurt"?
Guy: "Your fall from heaven. Because that's the only thing that can explain your fucked up face."
#4
Quote by Old Lady
What if you won?



That's the point. pick up lines don't work, of course you would win.
#5
Quote by thecoolestninja
Guy: "Did it hurt?"
Gal: "Did what hurt"?
Guy: "Your fall from heaven. Because that's the only thing that can explain your fucked up face."


LOL
#6
Guy: did it hurt?
Gal: Did what hurt?
Guy: Shit! I forgot to stab you
*rape*
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.

¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨
#7
Quote by Bendybaws
Guy: did it hurt?
Gal: Did what hurt?
Guy: Shit! I forgot to stab you
*rape*



Um.. no.
#10
"if candy tasted like sugar, will you taste like heaven?"

That was after I told my future one night stand named angel about my ex.
#16
Quote by boreamor
"You'll do".


Wow. You, sir, win. While simultaneously being douchetastic
Oh no he just divided by zero again...*gets sucked into vortex*

Originally Posted by Sirwinston89
whoa man this is turning into the Dream Theater appreciation thread!!! If only every thread kicked this much ass!


You're welcome
#20
Quote by greyfade
"if I had a rooster, you had a donkey, and your donkey ate my rooster, what would we have? My cokc in your ass"


"if three tampons are walking sown the street, min, maxi and super, which one says hello? None, they were all stuck up bitches."


Those are pretty decent. Definitely gonna use them in the future.
#23
Quote by Cmd. Cool
"Get your coat love; I've got a knife."

That's pretty good
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.

¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨
#26
ok, £30, but my mate gets to do you too
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.

¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨
#27
This thread has been done before.

And here's my contribution, most are off other things i've seen - quite a few are original though. Enjoy:

Let's let only latex stand between our love
I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away
You look like my next girlfriend
I lost my phone number, can i have yours?
Lie down - i think i love you
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
If I were you i'd do me
Is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Nice pants! Can i test the zipper?
Hi, i'm mr.right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Oh sorry! I thought that was a braille name tag
I'd look good on you
Should i call you in the morning, or just nudge you?
your place or mine?
My feet are getting cold, cos you knocked my socks off
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
If i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Do you believe in love at first sight? If not i'll walk by again
Hi. I make more money than you can spend
Can i get some fries to go with that shake?
That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed
Beauty is only a light switch away!
Hi, my name is chance. Do i have one?
Can i see your tan lines?
If you were a booger, i'd pick you first
Can i borrow your library card? Cos i wanna check you out!
Can you count? Then you better count on spending the night with me.
Nice dress, can i talk you out of it?
I think i could fall madly in bed with you
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good
If i could rearrange the alphebet, i'd put 'U' and 'I' together
Are you a parking ticket? Cos you have fine written all over you
How do you like your eggs? Poached, fried or fertilised?
I need a ride with lots of '*****spower'...interested?
I'll impress you with the magnitude of my perpendicular rod
I wish i was the derivative of the tangent to your curves
Lets converge and rotate about the x-y plane
There are 206 bones in the human body. Want another?
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
I guess u can kiss heaven goodbye cuz it has got to be a sin to look that good
Do u have a quarter? I told my mom id call her when I fell in love
Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven.
Do you believe in helping the homeless? Take me home with you.
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no
I know why Soloman had 600 wives, because he never found you
Is it hot in here or is it you?
Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for an experience.
Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your apartment.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot
I'm a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke
can i have a pic of u coz i wana show santa wot i wnt 4 xmas!
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear! Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.
im no fred flintstone but i'll make ur bedrock
I know Jedi mind tricks. Go home with me tonight, you will.
Do you know what’d look amazing on you? A load of my jizz.
That dress looks shit – I think you should take it off immediately.
As long as there’s my face, there’ll always be a place for you to sit.
Hi, I heard women go for bastards? Well, I never knew who my father was.
I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?
You with those curves, and me with no brakes
Hey baby, I'm ready for some FUN, I already have the F and the N, now all I need is U!
Do you know what a man with a 12 inch dick has for breakfast? No! Well I have Bacon and Eggs!
What time do you get off and how?
What is a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
I am conducting a feel test on how many women have pierced nipples.
Hey baby, want to go check out the shocks in my new BMW?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Do you want to dance? Yes! Good, go on then, so I can talk to your pretty friend!
You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
Baby, let me find your nth term
If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
Is there a Rainbow somewhere? Because you're certainly the treasure I've been searching for.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Get your coat on baby; you've just pulled.
Do you want to play army? I will lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
Would you like to stroke my lucky scrotum?
I'm the love pirate, and i'm here for your booty! YARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
If you were a Macdonalds burger, you'd be a mac-grogeous
Have you not been arrested? Cos those breasts are weapons of mass-turbation!
They say that behind every sucessful man is a woman, but if you want to switch positions just say.
they say your body is a temple, so let me worship inside you all night long
I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I wish I was Columbus so I could explore your virgin island.
Is the room shrinking? Because you're getting hotter by the second!
Could I get your signifigant digits?
just looking at you turns my software into hardware.

/thread
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#29
There are 206 bones in your body...want another one?

EDIT: GODAMN YOU RON BURGANDY
FUCK YOU! GET PUMPED!
#30
Quote by 100%guitarmad
Someone posted this a while back...

'Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll **** you with a rake.'



That's great.
Quote by HuckIt
I didn't find it that funny when I saw myself doing him in missionary position...

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
I was having sex with a female dolphin. In the dream I was like:
"YEEEEEEEAAAARGH I'M SCREWIN' A FEMALE DOLPHIN!!!" and when I woke up I was like:
"... wtf"
#31
Hey baby want to see my searchbar?

On topic:
Hey baby, I am incredibly well endowed. Want to go back to my mother's house and perform acts that are sexual in nature in the basement, after which you can make me some sort of food item or midnight meal?
Last edited by in2thesun88 at Nov 12, 2008,
#33
Quote by greyfade
Best pick up lines. Intended for humor.
at least you intended well.

Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#35
are you from heaven? because i have an erection.
Accepting no constraints from without, we countenanced none within ourselves, either, and found that the world opened before us like the petals of a rose. ~ CrimethInc.
#37
Excuse me do you know if there's a vet nearby? Because my pythons are SICK! *flex*
Minister of n00b harassing of the Punk and Ska fourm.
Quote by capsfan17, ss311, newyorkdolls138, somepunkkid, johnnynemo, axeslash, BrianApocalypse, mike2, dookie dude, lavazza and pinheadslts75
Thank God for CowsWithGuns

Quote by MattTheArsonist
Cowswithguns is my forum hero.

Quote by UraniYum
Cowswithguns is some kind of god on earth.



Love is never having to say your safeword.
#38
Quote by Cmd. Cool
"Get your coat love; I've got a knife."


Hirariass!!!
I See Through The Darkness My Way Back Home...
#39
"Don't make me send you back to your cell."
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#40
I hope you're a country girl, because I'm gonna pour my gravy all over your biscuits!
Quote by StratoTele
The punji sticks only work if you use your own feces. Most brand names aren't reliable.



All I gotta do is put on a cool face...
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