I don't feel this song is quite finished, but it's gone through a good amount of revision. In it's current progression it kind of implies a change of heart that culminates at the end. Is it recognizable? And are there some stanzas that are interfering?


how easy it is
to look forward and forget
how much time i've spent
with such weathered regret
as if predisposed
to live life and waste it

lessons learned
they, unlike myself
have such fleeting shelf-life

is this life on earth?
are we all just (flesh and bone) convulsing?
adding on mileage since birth?
is life's goal simply to avoid hurt
live for pleasure
is there nothing else of worth?

bring it back
that way of life i once knew
i still know you
bring it back
so that i can see
that you are still with me

we face the end of an age
what awaits in this impending change?
and which choices do we make?
do we live life face to face?
do we turn our backs and begin decay?

in the chokehold
will we even know tomorrow?

bring it back
that way of life, of vanity
i still know
bring it back
so that i can see
that the future can turn aside the fleetingway
and stay here, unchanging
so we can live our days out
while turned away

We're only strays.
It sounds interesting to me, maybe a little melancholic, I sense the change of heart, but to me it isn't overly obvious (but!!! who says that this is important? If it sounds good and if you can explain it to someone who actually takes the time to go in-depth with something you've put your emotions and time into, then I'd say it's all good.)

My problem is though, with most lyrics around here, and maybe I'll get flamed by some kids, but heck, would it be possible for you to make a "raw" recording of the song played on whatever instrument you play? To me, it would be a lot easier to get the whole perspective if you have a tune to follow. Further, it helps (at least for me) to hear whether something conflicts with each other.

Keep it up! Looking forward to the revised versions.
I actually don't have any music written for it yet. And what do you mean specifically by conflicts?

And do you have a piece I could crit in return?
We're only strays.