#1
Wanted to see what you guys think before I continue

Mainstream

Mainstream: get with the team
Make songs that have no seam
Mainstream: get with the seen
Make songs that have no mean

Pumping out more albums then China has navels
Power chords and catchy choruses to get the labels
Selling out, not giving a fu ck only want the cash
Fans still like them; they spread like a rash

On every magazine talking about how good they are
Originality is something that is simply too far
Cutting song length down because they "don't have the time"
They want to go back to their yachts and eat cheese and wine

Mainstream: get with the faked
Stack up like leaves just raked
Mainstream: get with the created
Stack up like dominos knocked down by the over-rated

Computer made music made in studios by cute faces
Record companies will do anything to win the races
Ruining music, destroying the greatness of it's peace
Just because the sellouts wont put in the elbow grease


Edit: Just fixed a typo
Quote by Zeppellica
[IMG]http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/897/dugtrioda1.gif[/IMG] your just jealous

Quote by nan0

How can he sue you for stealing your song? I think he's professionally gay.
#2
Generally your rhymes seem extremely forced. When you have as strong a repitition as the Mainstream/Mainstream in the [chorus?] you don't really need to force rhymes - the rhymes are there to help the flow, but the flow would work nicely even with just the appropriate number of syllables in each line.

In your [verses?] you force the rhymes just as much. If you can't find something that rhymes appropriately, just use some of the other techniques available to help your flow (if it needs help that is) such as alliteration, assonance or the like. If you want to rhyme, make it flow naturally, because there's no point in putting effort into using the rhyming technique (made to help your flow) if it just makes that same flow worse instead.

Also, political criticism can be awesome in songs, but make it too obvious and the whole thing seems cheesy and cliché. Your song are dangerously close to that.

I'd suggest you give this an overhaul and repost it. I'd love to crit it again then.
#3
rhymes seem forced.
made it even more cheesy/cliche.

generally obvious content.


overall: not a fan, cant see this being rewritten well.
#4
love the social commentary but... a little forced - a little robotic

if you were to listen to an elbow song, you'd see that lyrics should come naturally; and therefote flow congruently with the music.

rhymes don't have to be at the end of every line either... for example

"so to the bunch he luncheons with, its second on my list of things to do"

things don't HAVE to rhyme either.