#1
[ happen to slide across an article that got my squeaky wheels turning.... caught my attention][...its about addiction]

thanks
Stanford.U.


7wholegrainsonamission


Not because of who I am
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are
Last edited by rocktheguitar at Nov 17, 2008,
#2
i cant really seem to find a rhyme structure here, no ryhymes L1-6, then deception, immoderation, more, floor, restrained, remained.

L1-6 were considerably longer than the others, kinda divided the piece, disrupted the flow of the entire thing, as therefore the style kinda changed.

if this sudden change of direction was intentional, well done, but i didnt like it, especially in such a short piece (one stanza, 2-5 words per line)
#3
my first posted peice...
thanks though..
Stanford.U.


7wholegrainsonamission


Not because of who I am
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are