#1
Hardmetalthrashcore of death.

...My band broke up. So to answer the question that I know you'll ask (ailes, lol), odds are none of the songs I've written within the past few months are going to get recorded. I'm pretty pissed about it, but it's alright, I can still write the music.

EDIT: Forgot the file, oops.
Attachments:
bask.zip
Last edited by Thomasoman at Nov 13, 2008,
#3
yay namedrop :P Sad to hear about your band, mate. Ever thought of home-recording some of the stuff ? On the positive side, I'm absolutely delighted to see you turn your talents to the heavier side of things once again. Despite the apprehensive songtitle no powersucking electronica or dance scheiß but well played melodic metalcore. Though I have of course my personal tastes, I'm on the record for saying do always what you want to do, but if that scenester-girly stuff was more the bandmates' influence, then good riddance, I guess.

As for the actual song, to get my general impression right out of the way, it has mostly gold parts and just a few missteps for me. Intro kicks things off on a high note, groovy and engaging. Some August Burns Red may shine through here. I'd love to see that riff revisited later (has also possibilites to be enhanced in a harmonic progression) to tie up some loose ends. Verse 1 riff was slightly less remarkable, but that's no fault in any way, it works and by now the focus will shift to the vocals anyway. What does kill that part for me though is the drumbeat, shifting too much and doesn't establish a steady groove (until much later on with the halftime part). I know a little twiddeling is cool and all that, bandmembers jumping around, getting all pumped up, but I think it would 'work' better if you just dived straight into an eightnote boom-tcha thrashbeat right away, works great with that type of riff and keeps the heads boppin'. Can keep the halftime beat for the later iterations of the riff with the harmonization, works good. Just weak no-punch beats like in bar 18 onwards suck out too much energy and have no place in this promising piece. Breakdown Part 1 was no particular genius either. No suprise, I'm no fan of extended constant rootnote chugs unless they have either an interesting rhythm that warrants such repetition or an interesting harmonic progression/melody that makes them actually go somewhere. The rhythm here however could qualify as interesting, if just for the fact it reminds me straight up of ABR, so I appreciate the giddy-ness, however it would groove more, and thus enhance the interest factor, if you brought down the bpms a couple notches slower, as you did in the later part of it, as does a better drumbeat with actual snares and stuff (so I guess I should file this rather under 'buildup', in the meantime?). However, Breakdown Part 2 does basically all the mentioned things right: Interesting rhythm (with, importantly, given the right tempo to establish its groove) AND some harmonies to spice the chugs up. Thats the stuff!
Chorus was again another highpoint, especially in the dynamic change between harmonic chords and the groovy riff. I think you can get some more harmonic depth and mileage out of this if you actually separate the two guitars and have them play different/complementing things, during the chord section at least. Guitar interplay is generally a big topic for me, as I'm sad to see guitars doubling each other for 99% of the time and thus wasting great possibilites.
Verse 2 (btw, I'd rather bring back the improved Verse1 riff once more to give the song more coherence, and let this Verse2 serve as more of a Bridge) finally used some melody, sounded lovely and was kinda Misery Signals-ish in the harmonies. What would make this section really peak, however, is again if the rhythm (rhy guitar+ drumbeat) was a bit more decisive and pummeling, instead of channeling the bit more postrock/indie -flavour here. Again, like with any other thing this may just be a matter of taste, and if you like it then keep it, but for me the song has been building up to a highmark thus far and doesn't really deliver at this point.
I'll spend as much words about breakdown 3 as you probably spend time creating it, so that's that.
Unexpected turn of events at the "Riot" part onward with its slightly oriental/symphonic flavor. Definetly appreciated, and breaks the mold in a good way. Again, if you develop and polish this section, you'd have a great precedent for future reference. First suggestion, you may have guessed it: more diverging guitar interplay. As it is, two guitars (three if you count the bass) playing the same line sounds kinda 'flat', and robs especially the lovely choir of its impact (btw, how about transposing those to an octave higher, at least later on?). As this part reminded me more of black/deathmetal than standart -core, standart operating procedure there would be to have one guitar lay out the basic chordal progression, while the other one does the melody, and harmonize at points. Look at reference points like Amon Amarth or Dissection for some easy-to-understand examples of this kinda more epic melodic interplay. Also instead of the more giddy/jumpy drumbeat here, I'd opt for blastbeats, at least in the first variant. I know people may not like them, but I feel they'd fit perfect here (or at least improve upon the existing beat) and have a nice surprise factor. Dynamicly this would up the ante on the intensity and flow great with the earlier breathing room, thus giving the listener a clear sense of climax and direction. For the later halftime iteration of the Riot riff, you may also look at how a version of this riff in pummeling eightnotes instead of tremolo would sound (which would be cool, in my case).
Guitar Solo was appreciated, however it didn't really lift off that much for me. May be because the rhythm harmony doesn't give that much harmonic possibilites to solo over (too advanced maybe), so either scale back the solo to a more poignant melody or change the rhythm to simpler powerchords that have a more rewarding progression for leads. Maybe both.
Not much complaints about the outro, again the good sense of a more interesting breakdown in the right tempo. Would love to see that theme be expanded and developed. Could be with some simple harmonization (maybe something more quirky than the standart thirds), or a fullfledged countermelody, or some oddtime meters, or stop-start break riffing. Only complaint, from a general dynamic arranging standpoint, is that the song could maybe end better on an other part (switch the order of some riffs maybe). Again, if you revisit some earlier riffs, the song will feel much more coherent, the listener has something more to hang on to and the piece gains more sense of direction. Great stuff, keep it up!
#5
so, i write as i listen it.
the intro is good, altough a little odd.
verse part is really catchy... the breakdown needs more work i say, but after many repeating notes, it gets better. the chorus is really great, its good. and the riff after it, thats the point its really good. breakdown pt 2 is right...chorus again, nice. riot part dont fits here i say.. its more like cradle of filth, with the solo. so if we dont count the riot part, the whole song is good. nice work

crit mine will ya?
its in my sig