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#1
so i was texting this girl were both music majors and she said "yea but do you shake uncontrollably"
and taking full advantage of the opportunity presented before me i said "no but i could make you"

p.s it worked out well in the end

so whats the best text message stuff you guys have
pro tools operator certified
agile in-ceptor 727
gibson:les-paul studio
fender:strat
ibanez:prestiege s2170se s520ex
esp:ec-1000vb
splawn nitro kt88s
genz-bends g-flex

Quote by Punkismygod
U sure u want a floydrose? those things will make your nerves explode
Last edited by selkies at Nov 14, 2008,
#3
i said "i wanna be in you" she said "ok".... twas great

,--.-'-,--.
\ /-~-\ /
/ )' a a `( \
( ( ,---. ) )
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A PIG
\ `(_o_o_)' /
\ `-' /
| |---| |
[_] [_]
#4
Quote by filthandfury
That was absolutely shit. -1 cool points for you.


Make that -2
#5
my mate text me sayign wtf u on about, and i text back saying what the **** does wtf meeen? ... it took a while for me to realsie what i had actually sayd.
#6
Quote by Chen-min
Make that -2

Hey it worked for him, let him have his victory, just 'cause you're jealous.
#7
Quote by Chen-min
Make that -2


-3 :-P
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#8
her : "maybe I'll wrestle you to the ground and lie on top of you...it may be sexy"

me: "but people may think your trying to rape me"

her "im sure you wont mind"
gear

Epiphone SG-400
Agile AL-3100
Schecter Damien-7 (EMG 707 swap)
Peavey JSX Head
Peavey 412 Cab
Boss GT-10
Yamaha FG720S Acoustic
#9
Quote by A8039077
-3 :-P

-4

Epiphone Les Paul Standard w/ SD Alnico Pro II's
Fender Aerodyne Telecaster & Stratocaster
Marshall JCM 800 4104 combo


E-Married to Funny_Page
#10
Quote by Thepoison92
Hey it worked for him, let him have his victory, just 'cause you're jealous.


Ow, you hit a nerve
#11
Quote by Chen-min
Make that -2

+1 from me. so make it -1 now. and yea make sure you can actually do what you brag about.. ;-). if u cant than your really uncool... wtf am i babbling on about??
Quote by Plus_the_Bear

Electric Wizard owns.

Quote by MrDURPEEDURP
electricwizard_ wins at common sense!!!


92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this in your sig.
#13
Quote by Thepoison92
Hey it worked for him, let him have his victory, just 'cause you're jealous.


Where does it say that?

He said "i worked out well in the end".

He just says he went to a gym.
#14
Quote by Chrisiphone
-4


-5
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#15
me:

"lets play hide and seek, I'm hidden right now .. and if you find me, I'll sex you


ps. I'm under the bed"


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Last edited by noxiosimitator at Nov 14, 2008,
#16
Her: "I got a ring stuck on my finger "
Me: "Better than having something stuck in YOUR ring! ;D"
Her: "Dorty..."


fail amirite?
#18
Quote by noxiosimitator
me:

"lets play hide and seek, I'm hidden right now .. and if you find me, I'll sex you


ps. I'm in the closet"


Lmao, homosexual innuendo?
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#19
Quote by noxiosimitator
me:


ps. I'm in the closet"



hey, come out now dude. we'll still think of you the same. being gay is okay.
#20
Quote by A8039077
Lmao, homosexual innuendo?


not at all, I wanted to make love to her IN the closet .. wich means we wouldn't come out .. wich means I'm not gay


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#21
Quote by Shelflife
hey, come out now dude. we'll still think of you the same. being gay is okay.


*sings Avenue Q*
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#22
Quote by noxiosimitator
me:

"lets play hide and seek, I'm hidden right now .. and if you find me, I'll sex you


ps. I'munder the bed"



You murdered a bed???
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all
#24
Quote by selkies
"no but i could make you"

pretty bad response, in my opinion, though i'm glad it 'worked out for you'

this summer my friend and i were both working at our respective jobs and texting each other a bit, he said something about 'f-cking the dog' and it being sweet. I responded with "sex with canines is less pleasurable than i've been led to believe '. I don't know, it's ok - i'm sure there's probably better ones, but i can't remember them verbatim, and that's usually what makes it good.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
#25
Two different ones, I can't make up my mind.

#1. This one's between me and a male friend.
Me: *something unimportant about java programming*
My buddy: "Can I **** u! all night long. Id like that"

I don't remember how I responded to him, lol.

#2 Me and My girlfriend.
Me: Hey, how much longer will you be in gym class?
Her: "Until you suck my dick"
Me: Last time I checked you didn't have a penis!?!"
Her: "I got a sex change"

(fortunately she did not get a sex change....some just stole her phone and texted me)
Quote by Sonicxlover
I once told a Metallica fan I liked Megadeth, and he stabbed me 42 times.
#26
In high school I had a buddy who was taking Girl A to the prom, and he was talking to Girl B who didn't have a prom date. He ended up texting to Girl A "If I wasn't going to prom with Girl A I'd totally go with you in a second." He meant to send this to Girl B. Lulz ensued (for me, not them).
#27
me: I just wanna feel your rhythm (springsteen lyric)
she: yea i know you do
me: shame for you i'm not in town or you would have got laid tonight
she: lol, but i'm too busy anyway
me: thats cos you can't see how good i look in my suit and tie (i had been working at a law firm all week)
she: i prefer you with no clothes

lol
Hi I'm
Mr. JimBo R. Insane
#28
I was doing some event preparation and i got

"its (the club) a lot smaller when I'm not drunk" from a girl helper

I replied "i hear that all the time"
#31
Are you guys done making crap up?

I mean almost every post has been something sexual. A clear sign of a lie.
#33
well theres a few i think.

1)
her: i dare you to send me a pic
me: well i aint one to refuse a dare, pic sent
her: OMG i want....

2)
her: whoot my bday soon
me: what you want for your bday then?
her: you in bed....

3)
me: yo dude what you upto, doing anything tonight?
mate: busy doin ya sis
me: dude thats wrong
mate: i know, so now it sounds better when i say i am doing your mum
me: dude thats still wrong
mate: ok i fail.
#34
I love it when my gf's friends steal her phone and send me crap like, "I wanna do you."

It ruins the magic when she says her phone was stolen.

But I haven't had a perfect text message response thing yet.
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

GENERATION 27: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

E-father of TheSPillow/Sam
E-brothers with Entity0009
#35
i got a good one

Before I have an english lesson at college, my friend (female for the record ) texts me to meet her before we go to class. I know where she always is so I just go there

The other day, her text looked like this...

Come get me, im wet x

Brought a huge smile across my face
especially as i kinda fancey her

She meant that she was wet, as in it was raining and she got wet

I showed her it later and we both laughed. Good times
Quote by roythereaper
Nice bum >.> <.<
#38
some random person sent me a text: "*smiling*

now I was out on the toilet taking a massive dump, so I just wrote:

*Smiles back* and I managed to flirt with some random person who was probably yanking my chain, but I didn't care, if you write me a message I'll respond.
RIP Bernie Mac
RIP Michael Jackson

FUCK YOU DIME!

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Get 'Cliff is Angry. So so angry' on your ass.

Edit: Then take pictures and send me them.



Genetically engineered and raised by wolverines DAVE MUSTAINE...
#39
Friend: hey man wat are you doin
Me (slightly drunk): it's hot in malaysia
Friend: wut
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#40
those useless 'k' texts. those are the best when you know your friend is gonna say yes or whatever, but still insists on wasting the time, effort and money to say 'k'
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