#1
what a bunch of goddamn rip-offs.

ya know,
it's fucking 12:00 A.M.,
and i'm drunk,
ya know?

gaahh,
i just wanted to
say that

you really start to
think about the
lack of sugar on
your Frosted Flakes,
when all the faulty
serendipity
gets slammed enough times
in the windowsill
to lie with the
dead bugs, dust,
and pill residue.

i bought a nine millimeter
two days ago
from the same shady guy
who sells me dope.
tomorrow,
i'm going to fire it into
crowds of people, business
and animals
till i get
every bit of my shit
back.

...ya know?
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
#3
windowsill/pill residue a nice touch.

The rest, eh, angst.

I'll see to your next piece or something.
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Nov 14, 2008,
#4
A funny bit of angst.
I feel like I shouldn't downgrade something like this because anger is an emotion you shouldn't really tamper with. Anyway, meh, it's OK.
In your third verse I noticed something that connected with what Jake said a while back in S&L Community Thread about his Frosted cereral... just something I'd thought I'd add.
There really isn't a whole lot one can say about this. Soz, mate.

I'll try and babble a little more on your next piece.
#5
I need to make more time to read your work. Seems like there's barely any time to read anything these days besides my euro history and biology textbooks. I'd forgotten how refreshing your writing is.
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
#6
different, but a great and refreshing take on angsty drivel. (I should get some pointers from you ) Anyways, I didn't like this as much as you're others, but only because i prefered the style of your earlier work.
#7
we all think that, just subconciously. Wouldn't be a hit for lyrics or anything, but who give a shit? That's good!
#8
atleast it not soppy, contrived shite.

its actually quite good - theres somethin i really like in it - i think its the honesty