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Holy ****... The worst one I've ever heard was this:

How do you make an eight year old girl cry twice? After You're done raping her you wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

My friend told me this last year and I didn't think it was funny... just REALLY ****ed up.
I bought a wammy bar at this one place and went back later to get a diagnosis on a problem I was having (my input jack wiggled a lot and it sounded like ****, turned out I just needed a better cable). Anyways my guitar had to stay for a few days because they had to send it to a different store to get looked at. When I picked it up my whammy bar was gone and they wouldn't give me a new one without the reciept but I didn't have it.

It sucks when some people **** your **** up when they're supposed to be fixing it. I don't think my problem is as serious but I share your pain.
I haven't even been playing for 3 years. I registered to this site a few months ago. I've had comments about my playing from other experienced players and they say I have advanced very well in a short time with my turbo picking and taps. I'm wondering if that's good or bad because I've heard people talk about the lack of discipline in some guitar players nowadays. Any advice/comments?
I've played my friend's bass before and I figured out a Weezer song (Hashpipe I think) and the intro to Barracuda form Heart. I don't own a bass though and I don't have too much experience with one.