In elementary school some teacher talking to another after school hours said something like "Now why don't you come over here and fuck my mind?"

There was also this guy with schizophrenia talking to himself when I was at Disney World. He was some teenager. It was quite sad. He was standing alone saying "Oh come on now, don't be like that. It'll be fun. Yeah. Oh. Yeah why? No don't fool me. Oh mannnn" or whatever the hell he was going on about. That one wasn't funny but was quite strange.

I think the funniest, though, was after a System of a Down concert. We were given free kit kat bars. People were giving them to this homeless guy. I shit you not, he was yelling "FUCK YOU I DON'T WANT THIS SHIT, KEEP IT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES, FUCK ALL OF YOU" and so forth. They're giving him food! I mean what the hell was he so angry about?
Quote by eGraham
Marry me

Okay Maeby Funke.
I hate David Guetta more than I hate scabs on my asshole, but I hate to admit it... Titanium's a pretty catchy song. I hate how overplayed it is, and if it wasn't maybe I'd still like it somewhat.

I do like the odd Lady Gaga song though. Some of her work is absolutely horrible but some is pretty good actually.

I did like Adele until she was insanely overplayed.
Quote by eGraham
I've wondered this before, as well. It's a thick substance watered/carbonated down into something semi-digestable.

But God love it, and it's great with pizza.

Damn right.

I'm wanting to stop drinking pop though. Who here wants to join me?
Quote by Don_Humpador
nobody's said 'we already have lololol' yet?

jesus christ pit, you're bad. bad. and slow.

Oh no using a typically unoriginal answer that's been used so many damn times just for the sake of being a bellend is bad and slow I may as well commit Seppuku now but I'm going to be very bad and slow at it so it may take a while
Five more I shall include. Most of these are great choices you guys

You can kind of hear the end of The Velvet Underground in this song. Lou Reed's not singing leads in it (he didn't for a few songs on Loaded), it's on the end of their last album before that one shot abomination Squeeze, and it's the very end of their four album masterpiece streak. This album is also them at their most accessible during said streak. It's just such a bittersweet song. It sounds upbeat but it also sounds so sad. One hell of a way to finish off their streak.

You can put almost every song of John Lennon's solo material (well, on his good albums anyways). The vast majority of them are beautiful in their own way. They're all so humanistic and so raw. Whether he screams with such emotion over his parents, or if he fights for his beliefs, or even the many songs about Yoko Ono, you know you're always getting 110% from this guy. I won't say this is his most beautiful, because it's so tough to pick just one, but it certainly ranks up there. This is probably my favorite Yoko Ono song. Just everything about this song gives me emotions.

Anybody who has been on MuMu with me has probably had to listen to this at least once or twice. It may be twelve or so minutes but it honestly doesn't feel like it. It may be a bit hard to get used to her voice at first, but once it clicks, it will never leave you. The lyrics speak volumes and paint such an incredible abstract picture. The harp playing on top of the orchestration is so mystifying. The song just acts cinematically, and when I get to the climactic end, I always have my hair standing on end.

Until My Bloody Valentine's album is released this year (and hopefully won't let me down BUT IT WON'T BECAUSE OF BASED SHIELDS), this closer on my current album of the year (zomg spoilers) is simply mind blowing. Coincidentally, the album cover for Kill for Love looks similar to Loveless's, and I'm sure that's not a coincidence. Chromatics really experimented with layering on this lengthy cinematic album. The whole album has highs and lows about love and heartbreak. It has ambience leaving you in the cold, and uplifting pop tracks to try and give you faith again. The album ends off with this song, as the protagonist waits and waits and is surrounded by fear and nerves knowing that no good will come of this but she still tries anyways. It's so god damn sad

This last song hopefully hasn't been ruined by (500) Days of Summer, and if that movie introduced you to it, then all the better! Probably the most gorgeously facetious love song. It's so dark yet so poetic. So serious yet so playful. The bass is so catchy and the jangly guitars are so inviting, then that string section comes in and finally that final touch of the flute at the middle and at the climactic end always gets to me. I don't care if it's overplayed or overly talked about now. It's still one of my all time favorite songs.
^ An hour is sitting for ages?

You're rather impatient for a cat!
I like a lot of those live recordings thrown onto studio albums in the 60's and so.

I know a lot of modern bands/artists have done that too, of course.

Prince's "It's Gonna be a Beautiful Night" is an example of a more modern (well, 80's are slowly becoming not modern now) example. It's featured as a live recording on Sign O' The Times. It really adds some punch near the end of a double album. It's just so damn funky.
Quote by VanTheKraut
It's just catchy. Ke$ha, Kanye, Psy, I just can't get over their infectious beats.

Kanye? Pop?

That's just crossing the borderline.

Also because I'm addicted to caffeine and I like the bubbles and the syrup taste. I want to stop drinking pop, though. Overdose on coffee or tea, guys? Little bit of both?
Five of my favorite beautiful songs.

The layering in this song, and the added guitars/vocal effects/keys as the song goes on... So gorgeous. It's just a gorgeous song in so many ways. The lyrics are really hard hitting as well, which is kind of bizarre since they seem so stream-of-consciousness in style. I don't think I can ever listen to this song or album enough.

Don't mind the weird music video. The song gives me shivers every time I hear it. So many feelings come from this song. It's also my favorite vocal performance. This shit got me through a lot. I like the symbolism that positivity and care can be found wherever one wishes to find it. Also, I love how the song is both positive and negative depending on how you look at it. It sounds like both a love letter and a letter of dismissal and moving on from someone.

Such a sad song, and I mean it's downright depressing. The melodies and the lyrics are so well put together, and it's easily the most beautiful song about heartbreak for me. It's a bit bittersweet in that sense. Such a fantastic and eerie album closer, and the first time I heard it, it stuck with me for so long. It's a song everyone can relate to.

That wall of sound. I just love all of the sounds going on, from the backing vocal harmonies, to the huge layering of instruments and even the weather sound effects. This song's like Singin' in the Rain but the 60s girl pop Phil Spector version of it. It's somewhat a bit haunting, but in a good way. Don't judge.

And my last one I'll post is a bit of a questionable one, but for me it makes a lot of sense. For an extreme metal band, this song is absolutely stunning. It's easily the most emotional metal song I've ever heard. It hits absolutely every emotion conveyed so perfectly. In fact, there are covers of this floating around, including an orchestral one. There's just a lot going on here that bring on emotions every single time, and I'm sure some of you will understand it.
I don't even get how those are jokes.

Where's the punch line? What makes it humorous? Is the joke that they're listening to Slayer? That insults the band, not promotes them.

Dear christ, if I had more of these "lying around", or any at all, I'd choke myself with old rusty bass strings so I'd never be able to share them with anyone and because I'm despicable for even having them.
Quote by K'Nuckles

Oh shit that'd be great to have on android.
Quote by Shawn1379
Two penises rob a bank.
All of a sudden, a vibrator walks in.
The one penis says to the other penis,
"Oh, fuck, it's Robocop!"

Not a pun, I don't care.

Good god.
Quote by snipelfritz
I feel like Mr. Krabs' hat should be on top of his eye balls, but it's kinda impossible to tell when it comes to cartoon crustacean anatomy.

lncog made one where the hat covered his eyes ahaha. It was a lot faster and chaotic so I've switched it to this one for now. I may switch between that one and this one until Christmas, though, because they're both awesome.
Also Noomi gets a beard in his.
Quote by ErikLensherr
ok pun hitler

Improper puns make me Fuhrerious too.

I found that pun campy.
Quote by K'Nuckles
I've found the hot chicks/Mr Krabs combo funny for a while - but it's even better with the hats.

EDIT: I know what it is. It's the world's smallest violin - my favourite Spongbob clip by far.

Yeah I figured the other Mr. Krabs was looking too cheery so I went with that one ahahaha.

I dunno, I think it captures me pretty well. One is serious and is one of my favorite actresses, the other is freaking ridiculous and silly. I've always said I'm too mature and too immature for my age, so it kind of works.

Also hats!
Quote by K'Nuckles
I dunno why Pagan, but I'm finding your avatar hilarious.

Maybe it's the hats
Quote by Trowzaa
I don't see why I got a warning for mentioning it because I've seen lots of people say "the hub" before and get nothing

That site's one thing.

The other one, however...
Quote by Trowzaa
I don't remember at all

Ohhhhhhhhhhh never mind

Sorry I thought you meant when I mentioned those sites. Not... THAT video.

No no I didn't warn you about that. Never mind! Sorry sorry sorry...

I only clicked on the thread to see what it was now. Irish got a warning too LOL. Oddly enough I didn't.
Quote by eGraham
I definitely learned that song on guitar, too.


The little critters of nature; they don't know that they're ugly

Why are so many lines so damn amazing?
^ I always use lines from that song/that show

Yeah and with me they never get it either.

It's terrible. Every single time I think about people not believing me, I hear it like Stinky Wizzleteats ahaha.

Quote by Trowzaa
No, you didn't, you laughed

Yes I did! I said that's why I didn't mention the site names because Wolf got banned for it and you called me a pussy. I warned you!
Quote by Trowzaa
Fair play. Your fault Pagan.

Did I not warn you?

You didn't believe me. WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME
Quote by K'Nuckles
There is no worse feeling than finding out you've been led on. Happened to me twice over the past five days. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


"Oh yes! Good job, Andy, you got her number and her facebook. You're one smooth mother fucker!

Alright let me add her and see what's u-....

... Hello boyfriend. =/"
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Psh haven't you seen Unforgiven? He can't hurt me anymore.

Oh, what's that? Let me introduce him to Mr. Whisky.
Quote by Hydra150
Yeah, for that you need to do something real messed up like insult The Gaslight Anthem.

Jesus man, why did you even mention that?

So long, man
Quote by macashmack
Whats the quickest way to get a warning/ban?

By calling a mod the N word with a picture of a naked woman being fucked by a panda while the panda has ripped another woman's asshole open.

That's how you get a warning. Getting banned is much harder, though.
Quote by Trowzaa
Wait, I'm apparently on a warning that I got 10 days I haven't got an email or anything. Can a mod tell me what it's for please?

Probably that nazi neighbor of yours, eh?
Quote by Philip_pepper
Do you have a 93 year old Granpa who lives in Brazil?

Well, actually...

Quote by Philip_pepper
I do.

She's a blonde, blued eye African.

No joke.

Nigga are we related?
Quote by JimmyBanks6
I'm waiting for Januhairy

I only take part in Fepubeary.
Did you hear about the literary theater piece?

It's a play on words.
Quote by yaaarp
I don't see Avengers succeeding as a 'serious' movie. Heck, batman is barely believable. Speaking of batman...

The dark knights rises
- Give Bane a better death
- Get rid of lame plot twist
- Make the audience believe Robin can actually take over Gotham's protection. Sure, he's got Batman's cave stuff, but he doesn't seem to have the money to repair/ get new stuff. Also, he's not even close to Bruce in terms of combat training.

Quote by Bob_Sacamano
What do you guys normally put in the report message box? Is just "Being a twat" acceptable?

I usually spice it up.

"Hi this girl's REALLY hot and damn look at her tits but sadly I gotta report that, know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah this guy's just being a complete idiot and I won't stand for his shit"

and so forth.
Quote by Trowzaa

Thread's over until TS shows pics of his cousin.
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Yeah, that might get a few people furious. But it'd still be a better story and I wouldn't hate on something that looks that good.

Shit, you could even make it a scene for scene rip-off of Airplane! and I'd still enjoy the story more.

EDIT: And I think you meant Jack off Jill?

... No. I meant

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
that's hardback true.

Write on.
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
You know what else is a novelty?

A bookcase.

I think you're reading too much into this.
Click the link in my sig, it's from there.

Personally I think it's just worn out now.
Quote by ErikLensherr

D'aw, that's original.

You can say that joke at this point is only of novelty purposes.