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Hi there, here's my song.

It's probably a bit cheesy, but it's for a girl, so please keep that in mind.

Thanks a billion.

----------------------

Mark this as an
Unclaimed victory
The stars on your back
Have never seemed luckier to me
And if I was certain of where I stood
On pursed lips or open tongue
Then I'll turn to stone until I realize
That the best has yet to come.


Oh Mystery, reserved Mystery
Why am I a ghost of me?
Eloquent radiancy
Oh Mystery, damn Mystery
You will be the death of me
I'll be gone, but you will see
Oh what irony


And mere seconds after impact,
A halo falls into place
Count one to three, repeatedly
Muster up to speak the face
Let time affect the frame of mind
And see the future clear
Searching for stars beneath the sky
Hope that they'll be near


Oh Mystery, reserved Mystery
Why am I a ghost of me?
Eloquent radiancy
Oh Mystery, damn Mystery
You will be the death of me
I'll be gone, but you will see
Oh what irony
Arbitrary Mystery
I immediately got a clear image from this piece.

I imagined the boy furious about something and coming in to shoot the girl, but they talk it out and when she says, "It's okay." he realizes what he had done, and realizes that he should just get over her.

I'm not sure if that was what you're going for, but I love this piece.
I wouldn't change a thing.
Thank you very much, I've spent a lot of time learning sweeping and stuff, I guess it wouldn't hurt to go back and work on chords and such for a few.

And do you know what those programs are?
I am puzzled/confounded/bamboozled about how guitar is recorded. For some reason, I've always believed that, if the verse is 16 bars long, they'd play 4 bars and just loop it the rest of the way. I learned that this is a lot of times not the case, and I'm just in awe of how well the guitars sounds in modern music.

I'm frustrated with how to word this, but I just can't believe that the music sounds so similar. It's always perfectly in rhythm, and there's never an extra string strummed, or a dead note or anything.
I've practiced some songs for months, but I'd still mess up if I were to try and record the whole thing. I know this is kind of a "Durr" thing to ask, but how is it done?

Like is there some plug-in that edits out dead notes?

I know the obvious answer is to practice more, and I'll be the first to agree that I need more practice, but I could never see myself playing a song all the way through without messing up even in a tiny, tiny way.

So my question to you, is how is it made so perfect? Every chord strum sounds identical, and every note is clear and strong, even during very fast paced songs.

Is there special software, effects, techniques, or should I just shut up and start practicing more?

I've been wondering this for a while, and I'd be extremely happy if someone could help me comprehend this, and if it matters, I use Logic 9.

Thank you.
First post in about a week or so, haven't had much inspiration lately.
Still haven't had a good song idea in a while, but here's a poem that I wrote.
Please leave your opinions on it and a piece that I may crit in return.


Shadow In The White

I've always marveled
At how quietly snowflakes
Meld into footprints, making the trail
Unreadable. As if testing me
To see how one would act
If one were never caught.
It endowed me with a sense of evanescence
That I would not, could not, possibly be tracked.
A forgiving wind would dust my prints away
Gently scolding at me for stepping so deep.
The snowflakes taught me all they knew.
How to wait,
How to watch,
And the magics of disappearing from the face of the Earth,
In as short of time as it takes a tear to slide off a face,
Unknowingly contributing to my domain.

I became the shadow in the white.
Grateful for the safety net that I'd slip behind
And wait with blurry, stinging eyes
And watch the world wonder
"Where?"
But,
I was always disappointed at
How poorly snow absorbed the color red.
And how it took excruciatingly longer,
To mask a crooked, bloody trail.
I hate when people say "dat".

That and "swagga".

That is my least favorite word in the whole world.

"Look at dat boi's swagga!"

FALLLCOOONN PUNNNCHHH!
New instruments?
Finally, a chance to break out my six stringed box flute-tar.
I'm curious to know the other UGer's answers to this question, because I haven't had a good song spark in about 2 weeks now.

I've written some poems, but I can't put anything to rhythm.

Just to make sure my creativity hasn't been sucked out of me, I wanted to ask:

What's the longest amount of time it's taken you to receive inspiration for a song?
It's been a while since I've written anything, so I'm probably a little rusty.
This is probably awful, but I figured I'd post it anyways.

Please be harsh.
____________________________________________________________


It's gangrene.
That's it.
My tongue wets my lips.
That MUST be why
Her jaw is so close to the ground
Because, I scoff,
It's certainly not because
Of the ripples of blood at my feet,
Lapping at the Oriental rug
A postcard from my wrists
"The weather is here, wish you were good!"
I watch her tears
Drip.
Drop.
Sploosh!
Stomping into my puddle
And, as if they were disgusted,
Separate like water from oil
Scrubbing to clean themselves
Of the sin they rubbed elbows with

My head lolls back, and I laugh
One haunting, electrifying "Heh."
And just when eyes couldn't get any whiter
She's gone.
Sobbing, stumbling down the hall.
Screaming as to what god could have let this happen
To her darling baby boy.
"He was such a good child!"
Said the woman who's ears sealed themselves to my screams
Who's eyes hammered shut at broken bones
And who's mouth turned into a blank, unamused
'Is that it?' look
When I said
"I love you."

And at once, I see Sugarloaf Mountain.
Arms outstretched, waving me in like an air traffic controller
With greedy, pudgy little fingers.
The Vatican and all the stained glass windows
Nodding in agreement, licking their cracking lips.
"You will always have a home in me"
The clouds rumble, paralyzing the earth.
"Forget it."
Is spat as a response.
"You keep those cardboard lies, you ****er."

The ripples explode outward.
And I'm on eye level
With the fluid that's disappearance
Threatens my existence.
"Well hello there friend, how are you?"
But I never heard the answer.
I'd assume it was,
"I'm fine, and yourself?"
But shotgun shells couldn't spare me the honor
Of having one friend to mourn my death.
And neither could she.


"Um, hello?"

"I'd like to take you up on the offer of a home now please…"
Hello, UG.

I finished this literally ten seconds ago and wanted to post it up before I could second guess myself on anything, so here it is:

(C4C Appreciated)


The Organ


If white is the blush of life,
Leaving black as it's opposite,
Then my fingers
dance,
leap,
stomp,
between the two dimensions
producing proud, multi-octave
proclamations of grandeur
almost mockingly in nature.
They cry out from my lighthouse
Kicking cobwebs at the source
Inspiring the torchlight to shine farther
With their booming, unconquerable rhythms
That serve as signals
To wealth beneath the salt

But,
at times my fingers trip,
They strumble,
They crack,
Upon pasty palace floors.
And wail, sending the gothic chandelier
Trembling back and forth, to and fro
Swish
Swish
Swoosh.
They move as cripples
Humiliated, and shamed.
They scream their melancholy sagas
Begging for that
One pressurized ear's attention

And as I pound away carnival melodies,
I allow them no respite.
As long as I am alone,
they will see no rest either.
The torch grows dimmer every day,
and with it, my hope.
No matter how blinding the lamp,
How cacophonous the beats,
and bars,
and measures,
No matter the waves of water and alcohol
That are filling up my home,
and taking souveniers when they regress
My bones will not
(cannot)
stop.
Until my treasure is found and dredged
From the salty foam that dared to claim her.
But,
My fingers lose their balance
They slip more readily, and dance no more.
And more recently
I find myself dreading the day when my fingers
come to a rest,
on ebony keys.
I have a metronome, so I'm starting to think that it's me.
And yeah, Mixcraft is pretty bad, I know that.

But guitar riffs in songs are perfectly 100% in sync.
And mine sound nowhere near perfect if I split the tracks and try to do it myself.

Are there any guides online that would help me?
I am 16 and I have no band.

That being said, I enjoy making music a lot.
So I mostly record myself on my computer.

My equipment (Yes, it is bad.):
-Schecter Damien 6
-Line 6 GX Audio Interface
-Mixcraft

However, I have to stick with MIDI, because I can never get my guitar tracks to be in sync, and the volume levels the same.

I know next to nothing about recording audio, so bear with me here.

I don't know whether to record myself and split the track at like every power chord, to record in a slower tempo and speed it up, to record each chord or power chord separately, etc.

Should I buy a DAW with audio quantization?
Is the problem just with me, like should I just practice keeping rhythm?

If anyone could give me any advice about normalizing/syncing audio tracks, I will love them forever.

-Blueslushee
I took this piece, and reworked it.
I spent a bit more time on it, and I know it's improved since the first version, but I'm hesitant to say that this is the final copy, so I decided to turn to the UG forums.

Please, give me your worst.


Just try to recieve broadcasts
When the towers are burnt down
Oh magnifying glass of mine!
Place a red light on this town


The gleam in your eye is unconquered
Even under the weight of the winds
That whisper through your ear canals
Experimenting with how far you'll bend

~~~~~~~~~~~~
A familiar blast of battery fire
Awakens the storms that hide in me
Shift from prayer to punches
Look how fast our hands can change shape


------------
As cackles cracked my lips
I knew I'd surrendered tonight
Music notes drowned out in the cold
Beneath a theater's haunting lights
------------


And so with words I was gone
Remembered only on bottles of wine
Send a shoutout to the starlit silver screens
That kept my sanity intact and mine

I sure can turn houses into tombs
Our relationship found a place to stay
Tears evaporated, adrenaline subsided
Clocks have whipped paw prints away

~~~~~~~~~~~~
A familiar blast of battery fire
Awakens the storms that hide in me
Shift from prayer to punches
Look how fast our hands can change shape


------------
As cackles cracked my lips
I knew I'd surrendered tonight
Music notes drowned out in the cold
Beneath a theater's haunting lights
------------

Chalk dust finally caught my senses
My instincts grew a brain of their own
The awkwardness stands awkwardly between us
And the gates into my mind, have only grown


I'm sorry.
I actually think that if you added on to it, that'd make a better chorus than a verse.
Choruses are usually the catchy parts of songs, and AABB rhyme schemes are usually catchy.
Just my two cents though, use it however you like.
This is a song about a fight that my mom and I got into.

Enjoy, and I'll do C4C.


"This road is warn from all its travels
It's eaten its fill of battles and wars
The stars fall silent when I unravel
The history of all we've gone through

Mercury is rising in this room
A loss of control? Yes I'll blame that
I sure can turn houses into tombs
But n the bright side,
Our relationship has a place to stay


And now, there's no hero that can save us
Stabs in the back have left their calling cards
But now that the secret is out
Could forgiveness really be so hard?


And these days that we mark down
What do they add up to in the end?
My truths told with fingers crossed
I'm testing how far you'll bend

As cackles cracked my lips
I knew I'd surrendered tonight
Music notes drown in the cold
Beneath a theater's haughty lights

And now, there's no hero that can save us
Stabs in the back have left their calling cards
But now that the secret is out
Could forgiveness really be so hard?

After tears are shed
And shared blood's been bled
We see just who we are.
Two stubborn fighters
Locked in a war
I don't remember the beginning exactly
But God knows, it better end."
I haven't written anything in weeks, and then I sat down today, and a flood of inspiration washed over me.
I didn't take the time to organize these spurts, so I just wrote them down and did a quick overview, so it might be rough.

Please enjoy!
And, of course, C4C!

~Blueslushee.


He feels the eyes of a thousand nations
Staring at his secret
He panics.
A scream jumps off his lips
He leaves rubber behind.
And many puzzled spectators.

Lock, click, turn.
His isolation has begun.
The floorplanks were his enemies
The chandelier was a spy.
A climb he began
To escape from those thousand nations
And their ever watching eyes.

Ghosts of goblins
Ever haunting him through
Drinking glasses, birdbaths, black spaces.
He saw their faces everywhere.
Faces stricken with disbelief
At what a horrible tragedy had occured.
Oceans roared and spat up
Eager to kill what had ruined
The rhythm of the perfect clockwork.

Reinforcements lowering
Suicides ran rampant through his ranks
"No!"
He thundered at the proposal of surrender.
Death before dishonor is the key
The motto he used to
Sing himself to sleep
And to give him the courage
To rise up in the morning

Cornered, his backbone threatened.
He searched for his disappearence act.
He looked
And begged
And there! Deus ex machina!
One final calorie burnout
One final leap
Scaling the enemies' ranks
Until he reached the spy.
He gave his farewells
A final salute.
And dropped down
Letting the fibers
Break his fall.

Deus ex machina.
Oops.
>.<
My bad.
It's midnight on a school night, so I'll use that as an excuse.
xD
Thank you very much.
I'll look over that part that you pointed out and maybe make some changes.
You have anything you want me to crit?
I really liked this, I got some chills at the end when I read the last line, because I'd never thought about comparing humans to grains of sand.
So thank you for your revelation.
My friend was telling me about a dream he'd had in which he was only inches tall and staring up at a window that seemed huge to him. He said that he had spotted a snail sliming across the window, and the ooze that it left behind made it look like stained glass-y. He was admiring it and he looked the snail in the eyes by accident and then he was shot between the eyes by a diamond bullet.
I know, it's a really weird dream, but he took serious inspiration from it and it's really influenced his life.
(Somehow.)

Anyways, I took it and wrote a song about it.
I wrote this in like 20 minutes, so it still needs a lot of editing, but it seemed like an interesting topic, so I'm determined to make something out of it.

Please Crit, and I'll crit one of your pieces back.
Thank you.



"I draw my ideas from a wishing well
The clouds can handle my head
A snail and diamond bullet once taught me
Guard closely the thoughts that you've bled

A trail of ooze across the window
A snare to those that dare to steal
Only fools would attempt such an impossible feat
because paranoia is all he feels


A snail and a diamond bullet
Gave me an inspiration
Bananas eaten before sleeping
Serve as prayer and meditation
Determination from a string of Z's
A revelation that seems so strange
But no ideas are better than these
But few pose such a threat


Leaning against a table leg
One accidental slip of the eye
A bullet pierces your skull
Oh what an awful way to die

Happiness confused for anger
A miscommunicated form of assault
One chalk drawn outline later
The diamond bullet has turned to salt

A snail and a diamond bullet
Gave me an inspiration
Bananas eaten before sleeping
Serve as prayer and meditation
Determination from a string of Z's
A revelation that seems so strange
But no ideas are better than these
But few pose such a threat"
Okay so I'm planning out my home studio, and I just can't seem to find a good firewire interface.

I'll be recording guitar, bass, vocals, drums, and keyboards all at the same time, so it would need enough plugin ports for those.

Can anyone please tell me which firewire interfaces you've liked in the past?


And sorry if I didn't give enough information or sounded like a noob, I'm totally new at this. >.<
Don't be so hard on yourself, I just read "Zimbabwe" and loved it.
This is a song I wrote by taking all of my random spurts of inspiration and putting them together, I have yet to figure out what it's about, but I'll definitely make some changes when I do, but this is what I have so far.

Please critique well.


"I'd show a hypocrite a liar
But the truth is seen by all
I'd show you how to fly higher
But the sand drops through too fast.

All it takes is a few more tries
Feel the wind beneath you now
Spread your wings, but don't ask why
Secrets must never be spoken aloud

Realizations courtesy of your stench
Pick a side, quit straddling the fence
The hourglass turns upside down
And my world starts again."
Yeah I love Ganoosh's work, he's very talented.
And thanks guys, I'll work on something, and post it up when I'm finished.
Alright thanks guys

And I'll give writing cryptically a shot, no harm in trying.
I've beeen writing songs for almost a year now and I've written very few during that period of time.
Everytime I get in the mindset to write a song, I'll start writing, then read back over them, decide they're not as good as artists that I like, and promptly give up.

I'm setting the bar so high that my lyrics have to be like masterful everytime, and I feel discouraged if they don't meet that expectation.

Like a line with any sort of cliche is just instantly thrown out, and I try to use words like "I" and 'You" as little as possible.

Has anyone else had this problem?
I find it extremely hard to write lyrics because I know I'll get stuck as soon as I run out of poetic things to write down at the moment.

If anyone could help with this, I'd be very grateful.
Quote by rock.freak667
so then that kid in sky high was not a sidekick?



^^^

Thread.
This one was obviously about American Family Association from the cleverly named title "American Family Association."

@Aerotrooper:

Lol, like we don't have enough brainwashing groups already.
I'd assume you, since you clicked on the thread.
Am I the only one who's heard awful things about the AFA?

I've heard they boycotted Girl Scouts because they allowed lesbians to join.

I've also heard they think that any Non-Christians are un-American and are a threat to America.

And then there's the recent argument with Miley Cyrus, in which she messaged a Perez Hilton on Twitter and told him that:

“Everyone deserves to love and be loved and most importantly smile. Jesus loves you and your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! That’s like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz he’s gay and that is wrong and very sad! Like I said everyone deserves to be happy. God’s greatest commandment is to love. And judging is not loving. I am a Christian and I love you – gay or not – because you are no different than anyone else! We are all God’s children.”

And Donald Wildmon, the President of the American Family Association, responded with:

“Such statements will send the wrong message to our children who are influenced by this teenage megastar. Parents need to realize that Cyrus is not the positive role model she was once thought to be…. Clearly she is confused and does not understand the Bible."

I've read up on the AFA and come to the conclusion that they are moronic.

Anyone else want to share their opinions on the AFA?
I think "forgotten" would fit in better than "lost" in place of "spooky" but that's just my opinion.
I like some of the writing in this, but the rhyme scheme in the first stanza seems a little lopsided, and non existent in the stanza after the chorus, also it might be good to make this song a little longer.
It's a good piece, just needs a little tune up.
I couldn't find anything that I disliked about this.
Good work!
*Thumbs up*
Thank you
I'll take a look at the last piece, I only wrote it like that because I didn't want to force rhymes throughout the whole song.
I'll take a look at your piece too.
"my red hands block the orange flame from the yellow breeze,
and the green cars drive into the pale blue sky. and i had a perfect rainbow,
on a dead winter morning, but every color was just a stepping stone,
to violet, and she never came. "

My favorite line, wonderful use of imagery.
The rest is really good too, only part I didn't like was that you said "sinking" twice in the first two lines, but other than that it's really good.
I usually tab out the chords on my acoustic, then switch to electric to add riffs and solos and such.
But like Ganoosh said, it's really a matter of opinion.
I like Shaun Morgan's (Seether Frontman) lyrics, they seem personal and he has some pretty good metaphors.
If you watch the Seether "One Cold Night" DVD live acoustic set, you really see how much emotion he pours into his lyrics.
Movies play in a broken down theater
But no one stays to watch.
Our world's led by a corrupt leader
And yet we follow him, so blind.
I have a notebook document named "Spurts of Inspiration" so those will fit in nicely here.

These are a few lines I've come up with over some time:

"Realizations courtesy of your sweet stench
Pick a side, please quit straddling the fence"

"All it takes is one more try
Spread your wings, but don't ask why"

"The hourglass turns upside down
And my entire world starts again."

"I'd show a hypocrite a liar
But there's a mirror right before your eyes
I'd show you how to get higher
But I'll leave that up to be a surprise."
I think I know what you mean.
I'm trying to keep the rhymes, but change the words in between, I've tossed around a lot of choices and I'll just have to sort through them again, thank you.

EDIT: And I'm going for a alternative/post-grunge feel.