Hey there. Thanks for the in-depth crit on my song! Sorry for the delay, I was out of town in the last few days.
In general: pretty good song with an outstanding effort to create variations/modulations/dynamics while keeping the song flow pretty naturally. As another user said, this sounds pretty mature.
Intro: feels a bit boring, at least until the other instruments kick in at 10. Could use a motion pad synth or something in the like to create a richer ambiance. It sounds very melancolic but a bit plain. Maybe midi's fault.
At 18: strummed chords adds a nice texture to the riff.
Love the transition to riff B: this riff is very awesome. Feels like a laidback riff, yet so powerful. Love the signature changes. The song flows pretty well in this part. It's hard to describe and my english isn't top notch, but it sounds very good.
C: the first time I heard this part when the tempo slowed down, I was a bit confused because I was still hearing the beats of the previous riff. There is maybe place for improvement in this transition. But the riff in itself is very great even though drums are getting a bit repetitive.
D: love the triplet feel in D riff
Still an heavy and melancolic atmosphere is coming out of this riff. Hard to describe... like a dramatic event flashback in slowmotion :P Maybe should I say a powerful mid-tempo feel?
Nice variation back to C riff.
D again: hmmm not sure. Gets repetitive.
109 (Break): awesome. Feels metalcore a bit, but much better than usual metalcore stuff and at 117 it doesn't transition to a typical breakdown you would imagine. I was happily surprise, the higher guitar felt good.
142: Lead starts well, but at 144 I'm already bored... It doesn't feel epic at all and is not really catchy. I would rewrite from 144 if I were you. But that's only my opinion
Love the double bass at the end of the riff though.
F: cool blast beat over a slow lead and pretty fast riffing, nice feel.
Same comment for E, lead guitar 16ths notes felt very great on top of the rythmic. Drums were cool.
Harmony: good idea, but it lacks any emotions for me. The lead doesn't feel catchy as well and is not very interesting (sorry!).
A-1: very cool and really heavy. End of the world atmosphere in here. Nice variation!
At 228, I wasn't expecting a return to B, but it sounds great. This is a powerful riff. However, I would have change the drum rythm this time to add something more.
E-2 : good!
F-2 : I would work around that idea of the higher guitar playing some 8ths and try to create a lead that stands out more of the mix. Something that could feel very dramatic.
Nice outro, sounds good to me.
To conclude :
As I said, many variations, but the core elements still feel a bit repetitive. Also, I feel like there is a lack of a solid lead or theme to really "hook" the listener. The bass is also so-so. Not really bringing anything more than doubling the guitar in most riffs. Also the drums in some parts really hold back the energy of some riffs, as said the other user :P
After a few listening though, there are some riffs that you really start to enjoy more, such as B. Your song definitely needs 2-3 good listening to be really appreciated as it deserves.
What kind of vocal you expect to put on top of this? And what genre do you consider this to be?