I voted for nudes, but here are dick pics instead

8===D   <- semi

8=========D  <- that's more like it, he;s less camera shy now
Quote by bradulator
I gave the kids a word search to do today over the vocab words we haven't gone over yet, and one of the words was "GIS" which stands for Geographic Information System. I saw no harm in that until 7th hour when a dude says out loud "I can't find jizz"

blame that on the dipshit who invented the gif but thinks it should be pronounced 'jif'
Quote by snipelfritz
It brings a good harvest.

Also, men without belts. The fuck are these people doing?

Wearing trousers that fit?
Quote by Bladez22
Uk countryside here

Everyone is on drugs and every so often the farmer will set his massive pile of shit on fire

Oh and all the good butts are either underage or pushing a pram

So the farmers where you live burn their wives regularly too?
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Daddy issues are strictly in the "toot and boot" category. Dont need that nightmare full time.

Well yea, but considering my fat arse, awful personality and vaguely human face, that's really the best I can hope for.
Quote by ErikLensherr
She's aight objectively but not my type.

So, sober and no daddy issues?

Wait, that's the opposite of my type.
Quote by ErikLensherr
Both my roomies are girls I thought I'd mentioned it before. A dude crying this much would be hella funny actually.


she fit?
I wish somebody would bilk me

Quote by theguitarist
zgr0826 in those technicality/bureaucracy cases, you could just chill and do nothing for 10 mins and not officially start until it hit the right time.

closest I've seen to that in working is when someone comes early but expect to leave early and it's a job that requires people to be working during a set period for cover (ie reception staff) 

I did university vacation work in commercial laundries, and there are a lot of jobs you can't just start whenever, because it works kind of like a production line(also probably something to do with making payroll easier for the office, because they were all lazy twats).
Quote by Pastafarian96
I mean sure, if you're Gary Glitter

Hey, they made all the characters in GoT legal to get around that.
Quote by Pastafarian96
I'm still trying to work how they're gonna make that even remotely work.

With pillow fights and mud wrestling.
Quote by OddOneOut
That's literally 3 times my weight in beef cheeks.

How's it going in the kitchen?

Only twice my weight.

I need to eat less or exercise, and both of those options suck.
Gotta figure out a wifi name. Suggestions?

Quote by theguitarist
I was never one of those who believed "pink slime", or chicken testicles or whatever crazy horror story, but I was aware they put some kind of additives to their meat, likely buffed it up with sugar and grease and whatever flavour enhancers, which was fine.

I've come to prefer burger king even though they cost a bit more just because, while the meat is now as "clean" as mcdonald's, they at least dump a whole bunch of decent ingredients on top, so I find it a bit easier to forget about the boring meat in the middle (and sometimes their special edition burgers are actually pretty decent, had a few  in the past that were almost at proper burger restaurant quality).

I just get filet o fish if I want a burger at mcdonald's now anyway, they can't really screw up fish in breadcrumbs when it comes to cheap junk.

We don't have anything to feed birds in the back garden, but there are a few trees and bushes that fruit, and we cba picking it, so birds/insects do it.
Woman uses industrial lifting equipment to deal with PTSD
On a somewhat related note, the kebab shop that used to be my default night-out ender for the past 18 years is changing hands.

Lide will never be the same.
Quote by dannyalcatraz
...ribeye are NOT cheap.

Methinks I'm going to find some smallish ones* and use the K.I.S.S. Method for the first attempts: red wine marinade and salt & black pepper for seasoning.  That should keep things edible.

* or maybe flatiron steak

With a 24 hour marinade, add in something acidic, like red wine vinegar, lemon/lime juice and a whole lot more cuts of meat become available.

Might not fit the flavour profile you're going for, though.
Brad Pitt is as faithful to the source material as he was to Jennifer Aniston
Could probably pick up a Korg Miku off ebay for $200....
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Yup, so much mechanically separated chicken...

The internet isn't always right when it outrages against big business.

The thing is, I wouldn't doubt that they used to use mechanically separated chicken, but I do remember at some point in the past 15 or so years when the texture in McNuggets did change quite noticeably.
I mean sure, it's a lot more processed than their Selects or anything you might make at home, but it's still less processed than a lot of people believe(or want to believe).
Quote by 剣 斧 血
When you're computing a plasma simulation more efficiently by separating the distribution function into time dependent and time independent parts...

Edit: For real though, what's different about labeling the time of day differently? Events still occur simultaneously in each but you're just labeling them differently. How does that help?

May I refer you to the thread title?
Quote by MH400
Dead baby jokes are funny enough at face value. Its only a problem if you actually go out and kill a baby.

Just like:

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seat belt".

Hilarious joke, but its still sad that she died.

"What was the last thing that went through Di's mind?

The steering wheel"

How the fucking fuck in the two and a half weeks I was gone nobody took out the trash and now its mega overflowing

end of the month cannot come sooner gtfo shit roommates

Wait for them to pack their stuff up, then take their stuff out of the bags and give them the trash to take away.
Quote by drdoom8793
The proper way to eat McNuggets is to not.  Get some real chicken, for crying out loud.

Don't gloat because Blode hasn't sued you yet
Weird thing is, when i could manage like 3 boxes, I wasn't fat. No way I could do it now, and I am fat.

As private parts to the Gods are we; they play with us for their sport.
Quote by K33nbl4d3
I watched the episode last night by the way and I liked it in general but (idk if we need spoiler tags but whatever) as much as I don't mind pretty people fucking and incest is one of the more likely elements from real life to carry over into fantasy worlds, interspersing clips of people fucking with the big reveal that they're incest fucking is a bit tasteless and contrived imo

also I don't get why tyrion was standing around looking sad while he listened to them go at it

He's probably thinking "fucking great, we're supposed to be fighting a war, and now the 2 most important people are going to be giggling, coyly touching each other's hand and gazing longingly into each other's eyes while I do all the fucking work. And I haven't had my nat king cole in... how many seasons? ffs"
Quote by K33nbl4d3
this is dumb as hell the best way to eat nuggets is to get like 3 or 4 portions and shovel them into your food hole so you can both pig it and savour the flavour

like 3 or 4 lame portions, or 3 or 4 boxes of 20?

Yea, there's a reason I'm a fat pie.
Quote by WCPhils
youre so dumb lol

Anyway I think a Roberts rebellion thing could be cool. Or Dunk and Egg. I really enjoyed that book

The Late Late Show with Tormund Giantsbane
Quote by JackSaints
Marshall DSL100. Haven't got to try it out with my gear yet but it's defnitely a lot meatier than the Jet City I am currently using.

Tomorrow I'm going to spend most of the day subjecting the neighbours to br00tal riffs  

djent on the water
Quote by TheChaz
I'm down for this.  Or just go full fanfic and give him a giant dragon glass sword hand

And codpiece.
Progressive (crunk-prog/mathcore)^1
Quote by TheChaz
Liked it all other than the last shot at the wall. CGI looked pretty bad and the editing was really confusing.

Loved Littlefinger getting wrecked.  Can't wait for Cleganebowl.  I knew as soon as the dragon died that Cersei would notice one missing.  Good for you Jaime I'm sure you'll be very useful in the north with one hand

I'm sure Gendry will mod his fake hand and put shards of dragonglass and make Jaime the Punchinator.
Well, fact, anyway.
Quote by raoooos
Thankfully it seems like he just got seshed rather than something more serious

Yea, but I mean, it was the Kelvin.

That things is fuckin' howfin'.
Quote by Nero Galon
Interesting how they've completely diverted away from the books by merging Jon and Aegon into the same character. 

If anything, the simplicity and shortcut adaptation of the show is really making me wanna know how GRRM had intended it ends. Doubt it will ever be seen though.

I'm sure you'll find out in 2089, when the United Nations Committee For The Completion Of A Song Of Ice And Fire(UNCFTCOASOIAF) published the 34th and final book in the series.