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the only thing i didnt like was the "i popped the question" thing. everything was good and it just made it lame.
this sounds like one of those creepy psychotic nature songs. "Water, living breath of life..." however, quite catchy.
i liked it, but the only problem i had was that people were affected by that day and it was the only story dominating every source of media for like a month after it happened. and you say people don't care.
wtf? i didn't understand but i liked it 'cause i didn't understand
the chorus does need work, which i think is the missing piece of the puzzle. otherwise, good
have u been listening to green day lately? haha. it was pretty good.
f u fall out boy rocks
Well I guess I'm a loser but it's all I've got
You spend way to much time on a person you're not
And if you're so sick of the way you are
You've got so many reasons but you've gone too far

It's a sign of the distance but it's wasting time
It's a way of getting over the light in your eyes
If it's a sign to you all that I'm not okay
Than why is the plan just to stay the same


^^^^that's only a little bit of it; just wanted to get a little crit and see what people think.
more with the nick lachey (read other thread for reference)
ha. sounds like a nick lachey song.
i liked that cuz it felt like there was actually something behind it. nice.
interesting
i don't know roughly how much they are worth, but if you really wanted one i'm sure you could get a pretty good one at guitar center or some local place for a decent price, or musiciansfriend.com might have a brand new one in the clearance section, not to mention they have sales all the time.
i thought that was really funny. the chorus was really well written in my opinion
i thought it was good, very poetic. nice job
good start. maybe a good verse would be possibly: why is it so hard for me, to figure out who i want to be, give my lonliness a different place, a brand new canvas a different face. i dunno, but i think it would be ok.
I sat beneath the evergreen to wonder how it feels
To know you're free but still be caged by pain and misery
She said it wouldn't come to this but now I believe
That it was just to keep me living and last another night

Because what Mary says pulls me out
What Mary says makes it easy
She helps me just to let it go
Even though I don't know her at all

I tried to put my lonliness under a new address
But it kept coming back to me 'cause she's about to leave
And I can't stop her now because she cannot see
Through the emptyness that I made hollow by pretending to be

Because what Mary says pulled me out
What Mary said made it easy
She helped me just to let it go
Even though I didn't know her at all

She can't here me
I can't find her
She walks away
I tried to find her..

Because what Mary says pulled me out
What Mary said made it easy
She helped me just to let it go
Even though I didn't know her at all
This was actually really good. The only problem I had was the line "though I can't swim well." You're a talented songwriter.
thanks for the crit everyone, i'll keep it in mind
Hey guys, this is my first thread, so cut me some slack. This song was written for my best friend, who is unfortunately moving. Ty.

(Verse 1)
Lets end this conversation
So I don't have to talk any more
You got my head a spinning and I
Don't know who I'm running from

You walked out the door last night
Out of my life in 5 seconds
I'm watching you go and I
Am lost and afraid without you

(Chorus)
And when I'm wrong
Your always right
I'm not giving up until
Your back in my world tonight

And in the end
It's all for you
Stephie come home
Your my only hope, now

(Verse 2)
I looked at your picture today
I haven't spoken to you since you left
It's worth my time and I
Could walk to the ends of the Earth

It's only an image to me
Just an old faded memory
But I need it back soon and I
Am dreaming in in high definition

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Where are you now?
Are you thinkin of me
This is tearing me up inside
And I can't get you out of my head

(Verse 3)
Lets end this conversation
So I don't have to talk any more
You got my head a spinning and I
Don't know who I'm running from....
in my opinion, one of the better pieces posted on this site.
Green Day is probably the most political band in my opinion. On the DVD Bullet in a Bible they said that the song Holiday was a big F- you to all the politicians. Thats my opinion.

"Zieg Heil to the president gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
Is not a way that's meant for me
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!"
overall, i liked it. i think that the refrain needs a little work, but it was good. it flowed pretty well. it also kind of reminded me of the james blunt song "your beautiful" with the angel thing.