1. I am a junkie.
2. I've rarely left this residence in the past year to do anything social.
3. When people ask me what I have been up to lately I literally have nothing to say.
4. I never have any money (which is because I am a drug addict so I really shouldn't whine)
5. I stand in front of a large mirror in my bathroom and act like I am playing a show.
Quote by RPBiohazard
lol giantdentalbill4u

No insurance FTW
Ok this happened to me yesterday. I share this in hopes that it will be amusing to some. I know it is a lot to read and it isn't a literary masterpiece but take it as you will. I also apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors that are made.

Last night I partook in the smoking of marijuana as I was getting ready for bed. This is a rarity for me. I hadn't smoked in near a year until then. When I was done I turned on a movie and then got a hankering for some candy. I went to the kitchen and got a few jawbreakers, some warheads, a lollipop, and some lifesavers. I laid back down and ate all of the candy, saving the jawbreakers for last because I find them bland and undesirable, but it was all we had. So I unwrap one and go to work on the son of a bitch. Now these jawbreakers, along with the rest of the candy, were rather old. I believe they were left over from Halloween. That being said I believe this was the hardest jawbreaker I have ever eaten. So I finish it, finally and watch the rest of Gulliver's Travels and turn in for the night.

When I woke up, which was around 9 am, I get my laptop and start herping and derping on reddit and Facebook. I fix myself lunch at noon. I made some curly fries because who doesn't like some damn curly fries. I put them in the deep fryer and wait. I get them out, put them on a plate, ketchup that shit up and eat while I am watching television. I could have let them cook a bit longer but that's besides the point. I get about midway through eating them and I notice my wisdom tooth feels quite sharp.

Now this tooth has given me a lot of trouble in my life. It has hurt me constantly and is prone to grabbing food and holding on to it so it's damn near impossible to get out. Once I get all of the curly fry in my mouth to go in my stomach. I go to the bathroom and get a mirror and shove it in my mouth so I can see why I have a X-acto knife for a wisdom tooth. Well apparently I cracked it while eating that bastard of a jawbreaker and 1/3 of my tooth fell off while I was sleeping. I go to my bedrom and look everywhere it could be; my floor, my blankets, under my pillows, my bed itself, and behind my bed. It is nowhere. I swallowed that piece of shit tooth while I was asleep.
A local rapper. Might I add that the most gangster thing I have ever seen happen here is when someone spray painted "Bloodz" on a muffler shop.
^ Took me a minute to comprehend the last caption but I laughed, then coughed cause I am sick.
Quote by Kensai
'The Douchiest Phone Message In History'

Not sure if it's funny or just... fucking creepy but it made me lol

That is truly great.
EDIT: Just wanted to say this is OC. Whether it's shit or not it's shit I'm proud of.

Nah I just don't think the internet should bring out the nob in everyone. Anyways /off topic
On with the funniez
Removed because of people being unkind to me.

Also all you had to do was tell me there was a thread, not be a dick about it. Courtesy goes along way mate.
Quote by MonkeyLink07
Jay-Z Laforge

Quote by frozen_soul
tiny pic is tiny

I found this funny, Tis a cartoon of Gucci Man, Wakka Flocka, and Soulja Boy.
I saw this on Facebook, I got a little smile from it.

Your average rock and roll music fan. Normal fitting jeans or slightly baggy , with converse or vans, has shaggy hair.

Shudder to Think
I do not know if this video has been posted before but it is quite funny.

Guy pretty much just being an ass to his girlfriend on the phone.
Past presidents help Obama with his presidentin'
It is a flash game bro.
Quote by Teh Traineez0rz
is it funny?


Not really.
This is Oc. Hopefully its not stupid.

you should dread it out
Yoyoyo, Did you get my cover of 53rd and 3rd? Im about to start on Chinese Rocks which for the record is a Heartbreakers song. No offense of course and no assholery intended.Yoyoyo.
If songs are still fit for the taking Id like to do Fucked Reality by Choking Victim, Chinese Rocks, and 53rd and 3rd.
Chris Crocker which is actually a funny story.

I was in my local mall with my ex girlfriend and I was like.... "I know that guy from somewhere." I asked him arent you Chris Crocker. He replyed I'm Brittany Spears bitch and told me I was cute. Odd occuring indeed.

So unfortuantely I have noone of superior fame than that.
Combat Rock by The Clash
Rocknroll Animal by Lou Reed
Tiger Army I by Tiger Army
Help by The Beatles
Hard Days Night by The Beatles
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
Collection 1 By The Misfits
Land of the Dead by The Misfits
Self titled by Suicidle Tendencies
Self titled by Minor Threat
Born Again by Black Sabbath
Mob Rules by Black Sabbath
Danzig picture disk by Danzig
I Just Can't Stop It by The English Beat
The Music Man soundtrack
2001: A Space Oddessey soundtrack

Singles and Eps:
Radio Radio Radio by Rancid
Nazi Punks Fuck Off! by The Dead Kennedys
A Fire Inside EP by AFI
Mercy Me by Alkaline Trio
D-I-V-O-R-C-E by Tammy Wynette
Rubbernecking by Elvis Presley
I am the Walrus by The Beatles
We Can Work It out / Day Tripper by The Beatles
Pop Life by Prince

This is totally off the top of my head. So I probally left a few albums out. There are more I gave to my ex for bdays and holidays. Shoulda kept them all they were cool finds.
Yah navy seal, pro wrestler, and former governor of Minnesota. If you never watched the show here is a brief run down, every episode some new group is trying to control the world through the food supply or poisoning medicines and its cheesy and ridiculous.

First attempt. Hope it isnt terrible.

Sex Objects- The Briefs