It's been a really long time, UG. A REALLY long time. I've been away and I've done a lot in life since I was last here, and damn, I really don't know what to think. I mean, there's this feeling where you join an online community, then you either leave or lose contact with people, and one day you stumble back on to things and you're taken back and there's this rush of feelings. I've had a lot of changes for the worse in my life since I joined the site, and I'm really not the same person anymore, which is a bad thing
I really don't know how long I'll stay, but it was nice to come back and reminisce.
Probably Deep Purple's most epic song EVAR, but "April"'s lyrics really strike an odd chord with me, since when I was about eight, my great grandpa died, April 7th or so, and that set in motion the scattering of my family, since my great grandma was very feeble even then, and died a few years later. no more family reunions, no more big Christmas dinners, no nothing.
"April is a cruel time Even though the sun may shine And world looks in the shade as it slowly comes away Still falls the April rain And the valley's filled with pain And you can't tell me quite why As i look up to the grey sky Where it should be blue Grey sky where I should see you Ask why, why it should be so I'll cry, say that I don't know Maybe once in a while I'll forget and I'll smile But then the feeling comes again of an April without end Of an April lonely as they come In the dark of my mind I can see all too fine But there is nothing to be done when I just can't feel the sun And the springtime's the season of the night
Grey sky where it should be blue Grey sky where I should see you Ask why, why it should be so I'll cry, say that I don't know I don't know."
naw. but I don't cry, for serious.I'm on both antidepressants and anti-insomniacs and one of he combined side-effects renders me nearly emotionless. not sad. not happy. I turn into a real whinebag when I'm not on'em. I once nearly cried while listening to "Big John" while off my meds on a prescription halt. that ought to be an indicator of just HOW sappy I get.
Complete douchebag of a kid who, at one point when I was smaller, killed a few dogs in my neighborhood. Kid grows up a douchebag, everyone loves him. kid OD's on Meth and they find him belly up in what could only described as a putrid blue sauce of meth-rocks, puke, and blood. next day at school everyone's crying and lauding him as some kind of tragic hero, you know? "Oh, he went before his Time", "He was only 16", "He will be missed". Yeah, not by me, they made shitty tshirts with his face on it and handed 'em out. I interrupted the sobbing family to inform them "Your accident of a son died on his own accord, doing what he did best, being worthless, my only grief is that he couldn't have taken a few of you with him." walked off, can't stand 'em, the ****** got out of three counts of rape and one of armed robbery because he was a weasel. Good Riddance, and me he save me a seat in the 9th circle!
I'm a little bit of a sadomasochist, or alot. the pleasure I derive from seeing others writhe in the pain I cause them without them knowing I did it. At the same time, I have a soft-spot for purity, the sort of "nice-girl" persona. i love to change that. I sort of embody a cross Machiavellain/Freudian being. I was put here to sow the seeds of discord, but I'm too much of a romantic for that. the only things that could be justified as "mean" were in the name of Society, and maybe my no second chances policy.
"This isn't 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."
"Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That or His Dudeness... Duder... or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing."
when I was nine I jumped a creek and landed myself on a little sand bar. branch was hanging down, went into my right eye, long story short: my right eye is constantly numb and will eventually change iris color from brown o blood red.
my neck is also slightly craned from an accident where i fell out of a tree onto a wooden fence neck-first.
I saw a homeless guy in a wheelchair with no legs, just stumps. We has rolling up and down the street yelling at people holding a sign "Give me money or I'll kick you in the face!"
there's a guy around here who's missing both legs at the thigh, he's much nicer sounding than the chap you mentioned but this guy is unfortunately, a Gay Bear. In the winter he wears 2 toboggans over his nubs. very disturbing.
hate to say it but I was a little bit changed after Ravenholm. surround sound into headphones. 2:00am, force feedback vibration, full volume. shits were bricked
EDIT: just remembered my Let's Play! of Call Of CthulhuCotE, took me from 6:00pm Sunday to 8:00 pm Monday without anything but bathroom/snack breaks. a guy on youtube named Darchiron did one as well. I quit after I found out that he did a Let's Play of Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem, which could have it's own book of disturbing moments, right before I did.