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Quote by digman50
Yeah, I understand what she's said about it. She told me that she saw cutting herself as better option than taking an entire jar of sleeping tablets. I kind of feel that she needs professional help and that she's certainly not in a position to be in a relationship.

By constantly pursuing a relationship she's setting herself up to be disappointed more, making it a vicious circle. There's clearly a lot of issues but I'm not a professional and I'm not in a relationship with her so it really isn't my prerogative to help her deal with it all, as harsh as that sounds.

I told her that she really should go to a doctor's and talk to them, while trying to remain kind and on her side. Definitely going to have to cut it off pretty quickly though now, I don't want her getting attached to me and then being upset.

Edit: she just responded with "I'm not telling anyone"


Ugh, I was feeling sorry for her until you said she said that.
Tbh, to me it seems like she's trying to trap you. She might not even realise that she is, but that's definitely being emotionally manipulative. If she was looking for help she'd be open to the idea of talking to someone.. maybe what you said will sink in and she'll consider it.. but for now it seems like she's opening up to you for the wrong reasons. If you're not ready for a huge committment, run for the hills.
I was 14 when I started, been playing for 14 years... but I'm shite
I'd always suggest just getting a teacher. Even if you just go to lessons for a month and record them you'll have a good starting point and can work on whatever they tell you for a while. Any of those things like Brett Manning's Singing Success have good scales to practice with. Singing along with stuff like that can feel really strange at first but it really does work.
I also find the tips here http://www.dummies.com/how-to/music-creative-arts/music/Singing.html good for people who have never had lessons.
Your voice seems quite good naturally though so I'd just concentrate on doing exercises regularly and strengthening what you have
Biology isn't an option
This makes me question my life choices.

I'm a geneticist. Its definitely interesting, but unfortunately when you're doing research everything boils down to the same amount of boring because you end up focusing on one tiny little specific thing
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Hey guys, girlfriend doesn't know what she's feeling. Aka is having doubts... I'm thinking she wants to go into the school year single (she hasn't said anything like that). She is not a relationship person and the fact that I've held onto her for 9 months, including an entire semester when she was in NY, is kind of amazing.

She just told me she feels like she's faking the relationship when we're long distance, she lives about 2 hours away from me but we go to the same school and will be returning in less than a month..

But other than that, all she's said is she's having doubts and is being very general. So obviously I can't help her.

My question is: Do I put the ball in her court or do I put a little pressure on to keep it going? I don't want to lose her now, because I know when we hit the school year everything will be great. Even if it isn't, at least we tried.

Halp


Long distance is a bitch. Maybe she does just want some sort of grand gesture - so if you don't want to just leave her to it then at least tell her what you're feeling and that you want to try, if she doesn't respond well then its time to move on.

I totally get the faking the relationship thing though. My boyfriend has been in another country for months and I hate that when we see each other we're supposed to be all excited. It just doesn't seem all that real to me.
Some people just don't like labelling things. If it really bothers you, you should bring it up but if you're happy to go along with it for a while, do and she'll eventually come around to the idea (hopefully). You're allowed to have a say too y'know!
That just sounds like sexy time but it woudl depend on the group of kids and my relationship and what I know about my own child... But generally no.
I'd say it just hasn't happened for you yet. Also a hell of a lot of people don't know the difference between being in love and the excitement of a new relationship... Or have different expectations of what love is. People are generally nice so it's easy to try to convince yourself that you love someone or will love them because of that.
I hadn't loved anyone when I was 21 either.
You should probably try to figure out an easy way to explain what you do to people. I have plenty of friends who all study very different things and we all know basically what the others do, but know better than to go into boring detail.
Also you shouldn't come across as condescending unless you actually think you're superior. Most people realise that they don't know everything and wouldn't be offended by you explaining what you do
I can be seen in the audience of an episode of Dr Phil... that counts, right?
I've been in college forever. I would like it to end soon, then I will get Dr on my bank cards and never touch science again.
As a female, I have male friends that seem to think its their duty to cockblock any male that approaches.
Its a bit irritating. Womenz are perfectly capable of saying know or gesturing to be saved when needs be
I know people aren't too pleased with your vocals but I think you have an unusual style. I think its the sort that would grow on people.
Quote by i love alanis
Ok guys need some advice

I've known this chick for a bit and I've definately picked up. On some vibes she was into me. And when I get that instinct I'm usually right. It doesn't happen very much so I'm not trying to sound cocky but when it does I can usually tell.

Now I've had my suspicions but haven't really followed through. But now I've heard from. Ie of her friends guys and girls that she has said she's into me.

So I figured now was the time to pursue her. So I've basically just getting a little flirty in text but she hasn't really got into it. She takes forever to respond sometimes and occasionally just doesnt. Im kinda confused cause I definately got some vibes which I don't get very often.

So what do y'all thinks up?


Maybe she's just not much of a texter. Try being flirty in person and see if you get a better response
Quote by nonotreals
Hi, I've come here because I'm not sure where to go.

I'm 22 and never really had sex. I didn't make a lot of friends in college but even more so I was never great at pursuing girls. I had a one night stand once when I was completely wasted a little over a year ago. At first I couldn't get it up and the girl was very understanding, she hand't done it in a long time. Eventually I ended up getting hard and she went on top for a bit but I never finished, I didn't have a condom. I know how extremely stupid this was, but I was really out of it and I 21 year old virgin so I was exactly thinking straight.

Lately I've found a bit of a decreased sex drive, I don't really get hard unless I actually am stimulating myself. It's like I almost don't believe I'll ever get laid so its hard to be excited about it. I watch porn fairly often, it used to be everyday but I haven't been watching as much lately, still probably 5 times a week at least though. I also smoke pot almost everyday, and drink on the weekends (not sure if this is important but thought I would share just incase).

I don't really find porn to appealing anymore, if I stop touching myself I often will loose my erection.

Where do I go from here?

I often have issues with anxiety and nerves just socially in life, although I've gotten much better over the last couple of years. I'm probably over thinking this whole thing which doesn't help, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry for the long post and sorry if it doesn't fit in with this thread.


I think people tend to want more sex the more sex they have, I wouldn't worry about it. Also, a lot of people lie about how experienced they are sexually. I know plenty of 23 year old virgins, so I wouldn't worry about inexperience either. Try to meet people and enjoy yourself without pressuring yourself by thinking where it could lead
Quote by Tanglewoodguit
Bit of a weird one.

Me and my gf were having sex on Saturday and both enjoying it. I had to go to the loo, so i popped out and came back. When I got back, she tried to put me back in and she'd tightened up pretty quickly and I just couldn't get it. My dick isn't massive, probably above average. And she's a petite girl. Any reason for it just to close up (sorry at the crudeness) like that?

I need to add that she kept trying to put me back in, so I wasn't pushing her into it.


Women can get out of the mood physically very quickly. Did you have any lube or anything?
I think the last thing people go to America for is the healthcare.
My sister had an American friend who went to college over here. She was diabetic and went into a coma over Christmas because she thought she couldn't afford medication. While in hospital she found out its free here.

I lived in San Francisco with friends for a few months, one of the girls had a sore throat.. finding somewhere to get antibiotics for her was more difficult than it should have been.
My friends and I take Halloween far too seriously! I love it!! This year we're going with zombie celebrities. I'm going as zombie Lady Gaga

Past Halloweens:




I can't wait!
Quote by JonYay
Hey guys, long time lurker, first time poster on any forum ever...

so i have a bit of a dilemma going on at the moment.
my girlfriend and i have been going out for almost 2 years now. we're both mid 20's (in case age is a factor for helping me).

when we were getting to know each other we had the "what's you future plans" conversation and i always said i was going to go to australia to work (i'm a New Zealander and i get $10/hr more in oz than what i get in NZ).
she seemed really receptive to the idea and keen to join me when i eventually go, her hatred of her job and the town we live in helped convince her also.

fast forward to a couple of months ago and we are madly in love with each other and due to my job situation i felt it was prime time to make the move overseas finally. she wasn't overly keen to move over immediately because she got a new job she liked, but said she would still move over eventually (3-6months or so after i leave), so with that in mind i trundled off overseas to chase the $$$ thinking it was all good.

we skyped regularly and it was hard for the first month or so, not knowing when we'd truly see each other etc.
i kept getting emails from her saying how heartbroken she felt and how much she misses me etc and then the other day i get a email saying she doesn't think she can be with me anymore because she doesn't think she'll move over for another year (or if ever).

to really complicate things the dude i thought was my best mate (and band mate!?!??) has messaged me saying he's falling for my girlfriend, he says he hasn't done anything out of respect for me but he says he can't help the feelings and it's hard for him to see my girlfriend so upset about me leaving them in NZ.

so basically i'm asking for advice on whether i should go back to New Zealand (to a town I thoroughly dislike and less wage) and try patch things up with her and continue what will possibly be a very awkward friendship with my "best mate/former jam buddy" or whether i should stay and try move on from that whole section of my life……

i just wish i'd found this forum/thread before i left


Long distance is really hard, so if you were a very couply couple she's probably feeling it more but it sounds to me like they're both being very honest with you. If you want to stay in Australia then don't go back. You have to think about where you see your life going whether or not she's in it, and try not think about what she's doing.
Quote by suckersdream
I'm in the middle of a pregnancy scare and shitting my pants. My period is going on 2 weeks late. I did a test yesterday, which came up negative, but apparently false negatives are common so I'm doing a second test in a couple of days. ****

We did use condoms, so I'm likely to be safe (as far as I know none broke or anything either). But still. Haven't told the guy yet, I'm going to wait til the second test. I'm a nervous wreck right now. shiiiiiiiiiiiit


Don't stress about it two much. At least not before a month has passed. If the guy is someone you actually know, tell him. If you have to stress then why not have him stress a little too. Two weeks isn't a long time to be late though, it happens.

Quote by Vendetta V
thanks for the replies guys. To answer the question she's 21, I'm a bit older than her. but she seems to be totally.

I think it's not only her beliefs as much as her fear of doing it. I mean she's also afraid that we won't be together all the time so she's afraid to do it with me knowing I'm not gonna be her husband

the interesting thing is that she's having some really psychological things too. I mean I really dont insist on sex, but when you're making out then you're making out you know, at least you can have your way around her body (dude at least hugging her under her T-shirt) which seems to be ok by her for a moment, and the other moment she's all scared yelling No!. I'm not sure how to really tell her that no sex is gonna happen whatsoever and it's just making out.


It sounds to me that you're just not really respecting what she's telling you when she's not caught up in the heat of the moment.
Quote by Pat_s1t
Already am. It still seems a bit out of place in a conversation with a 17 year old though, I mean usually they don't get really open until their twenties or so. It's gotten a bit more in depth since that part of the conversation either way. It seems I might have a chance with her when she comes out here.


"SEEMS" like you "MIGHT"? Did you not just say in the other thread that she said quite plainly that she was jealous of some other girl you were with?
The girl couldn't be more straightforward with you.
I don't think I'd necessarily "tell her how good looking she is", I think that could come across as a bit odd, and it's implied by your approaching her anyway.
Some stereotypes have a solid basis. I think to some extent its ok to make assumptions as long as you don't genuinely believe that people can't possibly be different to the stereotype.

I was recently assaulted by a black taxi driver and I think its going to take me a while to get back into a taxi with another one. Not sure if its just because I'd worry it'd be the same guy or because I've become racist over it. Its definitely not good though.. having said that I'm still nervous these days not matter what the race of the taxi driver so maybe its not a racism thing at all
Quote by gorkyporky
So, me and my gf broke up. And i thought i would feel better. But goddamn, i have never felt more like shit in my entire life. I have no idea wat to do with myself, i feel empty and all i want is to call her up and get her back. I even cried! What the hel pit, what am i suposed to do? I have never felt like this in my life.


Why did you break up?
Yeh, if you post a clip I'd be happy to give some constructive criticism. The best thing you can do is just take the plunge and get singing lessons.
Unless people are listening to you without knowing its you and you're fantastic, then you're not going to get any helpful feedback, and even if you are fantastic, the best you can hope for is a confidence boost
It is possible that resting the muscles does make it easier for you to hit notes, maybe you're doing something that strains yourself and you don't even realise.
Neighbours do make it impossible to practice properly though. I rarely practice scales and things because I just feel ridiculous
If you feel like you were progressing and you're not any more, then there would be no harm getting a few lessons. Its quite difficult to keep track of your progress with singing though, so as long as you keep at it you are probably improving just by practising. Maybe play around with trying to get emotion through and doing things you wouldn't normally do just to see what sounds different, you'll probably find that you're able to do things now that you couldn't do before
Quote by Jehannum
The only way science (or anything else) could undermine atheism is by providing evidence for gods. Is science doing that? No. So science is not undermining atheism.


undermines atheism for scientists, who shouldn't think anything is fact or not fact until it is proven. They should be mostly indifferent. I said FOR SCIENTISTS


SCIENTISTS.

gah!
I'm so bored of this now. You people are dull.
Quote by FoolOnThePlanet
Minor problem RT....
So me and my GF are together a lot. We're both fine with that, not smothering. We hang out separately from time to time but mostly we are together...and we're happy.
The problem is that more than quite a few times now, we've made a plan (let's say like go to a movie, something other than just hanging out), for like the next day or something, and then later on she'll make a plan with on of her girl friends that will either postpone or totally over ride the plans we've made previously.
I've called her out on it and she just says I'm being unfair...
What do you think?? I understand she wants/needs to be with her friends, that's not the problem. I'm fine going our separate ways for a bit. But it's just when we have plans and then she overwrites them with other plans, it kind of pissed me off, even more so because it's happened a handfull of times...she just says I'm being unfair, that we're together all the time, and she wants to hang out with her friends. I just say that it's different when we actually have plans and it's not cool to opt out of set plans to do something else.
Do I have a right to be ticked, or am I just being a bitch?


You do have a right to be ticked, but you are also being a bit of a bitch She'd probably go mental if you did the same to her though. If she does it a lot maybe just refuse to make plans with her until last minute. Explain to her that you turn down other options because you have plans with her. When I'm in a relationship, spending time together is usually the default backup plan, but she can't just take you for granted. Does she ever suggest that you do these things with her and her friends when they come up?

Quote by W4RP1G
Sounds like she thinks you guys should hang out less and you think you guys should hang out more. This is a huge conflict of interests. Obviously if she feels like you guys need to hang out less(or she needs to hang it with friends more, whatever), then she isn't going to be happy if you insist and basically pressure her into hanging out with you more.

I don't want to sound pessimistic, but all you can really do is give her the time away that she needs and hope that this isn't the start of her losing interest in the relationship.


I don't think it sounds like its something that serious. Personally, my friends rarely go out together so if I had plans to go to the cinema with a boyfriend in the evening and a bunch of friends called and said they were doing something, I would be inclined to just see if the boyfriend is happy to do the cinema another night, since we see each other all the time anyway.
My first boyfriend would have gone mental if I did this, and because friends tend to plan things more last minute it did destroy a lot of friendships. My most recent boyfriend was fine about stuff like that though and I'd find that when I did go out with friends I'd tend to get to a stage in the evening where I'd get bored and rather be at home with him.
Quote by Todd Hart

Atheist simply means 'not theist', it says nothing about whether a person definitely thinks there is no God, or simply does not think there is sufficient evidence to believe there is. Most people are the latter, and indeed I would say that anyone who affirms 100% that there isn't a God is simply claiming to have knowledge they can't have. The latter, however, is often confused for agnosticism, which is not the same thing. Agnosticism is the believe that whether or not there is a God there is no way of humans knowing the truth of the matter.


As I had previously said, I had taken atheist to mean there is no god. I think it is ignorant of someone who considers themselves to be a scientist to think they know anything with certainty that there is no proof of. Which is why I said that science undermines atheism for scientists, not for other people.

EDIT: Your teapot and any discussion of 'how science works for dummies' is completely irrelevant to the point I was making in the first place.... Its irritating and reminding me why I don't attempt to have serious conversations on the internet. You're attempting to be condescending to make yourself appear to be right, whereas you're just missing my point entirely
Quote by Todd Hart
The fact that God hasn't or cannot be proven is irrelevant (to this specific argument). Until something is proven then it is not scientifically accepted as fact, and until it has been proven (or at least there is sufficient evidence to suggest it may be true) then saying that it most likely isn't is the correct approach. No scientist worth their salt would say that we can prove that the deistic God does not exist, but they don't need to. Until there is evidence that one does there is no logic in doing anything other than saying that it most likely does not.


If scientists just assumed what they didn't know to be fact to just be untrue we'd never get any work done..
Its not irrelevant to the point I was making originally so perhaps you misunderstood, you seem to have gone off on a tangent.
Anyway, I have no idea what point you're trying to make.

Perhaps I misused the word atheist in my original post, so if that's the truth then I hope it will stop you trying to preach the scientific method to a scientist.
Quote by Todd Hart
The proposition of there being a God is one which has no evidence to back it up, therefore saying that there most likely isn't a God is the logical conclusion. Russell's teapot is an argument against just this. There is no evidence that there is a teapot orbiting this planet, but that does not mean that chance of the teapot actually existing is 50/50.


but that can be proven, this can't. If I went in to my supervisor with an argument like that I would be fired. My point was purely about how things have to be proven before they will ever be scientifically accepted

Quote by iwannabesedated
You misunderstand what being an "Atheist" means.

I am an Atheist, however I don't assert that a God does not exist. It's entirely possible, but I've yet to see compelling evidence.

^yeah, listen to Todd, he knows what's up.


I would have always considered someone who could be swayed by proof to be agnostic. So perhaps I am misunderstanding
Quote by slipknot5678
I already miss my high school.

Actually, I even miss junior high school.

This phase of my life is already over. It's like I'm going through a quarter life crisis.


I've had a quarter life crisis a few years ago. I think I'm having another one now, which makes me want to refer to the last one as a fifth life crisis... just for fear of cutting years off my life.
My youth and feeling that I could accomplish my dreams.

Quote by garden of grey
The goal of a scientist is to test hypotheses using the scientific method, not to piece science together to try to prove that a God exists.

By your logic, should people that know there to be a God also never be scientists?


Exactly, test a hypothesis. Not assume. If the null hypothesis is wrong then something else is right.
The scientific mind forces you to be neutral, we don't know that there is no god until it is proven, whereas we still don't know there is a god until it is proven that there is.

EDIT: in other words nothing will ever prove if there is or isn't a god in a way that would be scientifically acceptable.
I think its weird if a scientist considers themselves to be an atheist because the whole point of being a scientist is discovering the unknown. So in that sense, science undermines atheism but only for science-minded people
that's nice, well done Scotland.
Quote by Enigmatic564
The other night I was sleeping over at my girlfriends house and I had a dream that I cheated on her with one of my former crushes. After I told her, she flipped shit and told me that she also had a dream about cheating on me, but only because I had cheated on her in her dream. Is this just a coincidence or should I be worried about something happening?


Its not a coincidence, she's just trying to make you feel as insecure as you've made her feel.
If you're asking if you should be worried about her dream, should she be worried about your dream actually meaning something?
I know dreams mean nothing but you should probably just do something nice for her in an attempt to cheer her up, I'd say she's probably feeling quite down about it. Even just mentioning how much more attractive she is than this other girl would probably do you some good if you want to keep the peace
Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
I don't mind about not getting or giving head, it would be nice but it doesn't bother me too much. I was more asking about how to make her come without head.


She might just be the type of person who finds it difficult (or impossible) to orgasm altogether.. its very possible, particularly if she's young. Maybe try some vibrators and stuff
Quote by apmaman
In a bit of a predicament....

Recently split up with my gf a few weeks ago and been speaking to other girls etc, theres one who's pretty interested in some hanky panky but im away to be 23 and shes only just 17...

Too young? Feels a bit weird but she is "legal" as far as the law goes... just I dont know!


If it feels weird don't do it There are plenty of women your own age