Quote by X-127

I was known as dreadnought, but deleted my account to get rid of all kinds of old posts.

What’s new bud? You should stick around

Those were the days!

EDIT: Jesus Christ, doesn't feel like 16 years ago...
Why not. Video's are nice as well. You've got that ****er for life then. Even if it's cringeworthy you can laugh about it in 10 years

Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Eh if it were me I'd prefer a blowjob and a sammy.

Or that
Give her The Spocker

EDIT: As a bonus, it's free, so you can use that $1000 to give her counselling after the ordeal
The record stores in London are freaking rammed.

All I wanted to do is see if somewhere had a bootleg of last night's Steps concert.
Congratulations... may you reign with an iron fist. If you need directions to the executive bathrooms then I'll be happy to escort you.

If you spot anything that looks like a camera watching you while you poop then please ignore it. I installed them for... security reasons... during my stint in office.
Quote by Avedas
Here's mine

I tried that ironing sh*t for a while.

Then I moved into a flat where my housemate uses the iron to dry the carpet whenever she spills wine on it.

Tried ironing my shirt when I first moved in and it instantly got covered in wine, melted carpet and stank like high heaven.

Mental housemates FTL.

Oh, on topic:

Never thought I'd smoke, graduate, move out, live in London, have a fun job and STILL be so skint I have to eat baked beans on pasta for dinner.

I've noticed a trend that these fads occur around the latest in technological advances:

Greasers came around due to the invention of leather.
Hipsters formed in reaction to the one-gear bike.

It is my prediction that the next technological advancement will be a fishing rod with a small talking mouse in it.

This will cause the formation of a new sub-group:

the rod stuart littles.

Their favourite activities will be reading latin to each other whilst listening to pop punk.

Their catch phrase will be

"Cogito ergo sum 41"


Quote by Pi!
Rods and mockers.

Congrats on being remarkably close
Quote by Low_End_Rocker
Dude, you're from Texas. Your state within the last year has threatened to secede from the United States, and your state government wants to re-write the school curriculum with a Christian bias. Stop bashing on the French.

Also, I assume you mean the general strikes yeah? What fucking bastards they are too oppose the idea of working until their death.

Naa, most certainly not. I lost my virginity to a girl who later told me that "sex was like Satan saying yes and God saying no".

I don't mind talking dirty, but I prefer metaphysical beings left outside (especially if I'm the one paying her).

EDIT: This really is true. She later turned very, very Muslim and it all started to go tits up from there really! (she was already Muslim but when she went to uni it started to get out of control, I'm not being religionist!)
Quote by Well.......
Because it takes balls to play Boston and Bon Jovi songs, not like that pussy shit people put out nowadays. Dressing up like women and shit, it's a disgrace.

What ever happened to the good days.

Yeah you're right! Unfortunately we just play Sex Pistols, Green Day, Incubus, The Strokes... just your standard middle of the road drivel.

I'm only in it for the money and hoes though. I can't even walk into Tesco without someone saying "alright Will? Your mum told me you're playing the guitar now? That's cool I guess".

It really has turned me into quite the celeb.
Quote by tayroar
I'm agnostic, but this is just discriminatory. Why can't you just coexist? In all honesty, a lot of what Jesus preached (not the old testament, but what Jesus actually said, but not all of what he said mind you) would make the world a better place, if people actually followed it instead of uses pieces of it to judge others, which Jesus pretty much states is the opposite use of the Bible. He says "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone," which is basically saying to not judge others unless you yourself are perfect, I have not met a single person who follows this piece of scripture.

Mate, I am absolutely ruined right now and even I have any idea what you're going on about!

I think if they can put warning stickers on cigarettes, then why not lob on on some holy books too. May as well start putting them everywhere.

"ohh, this knife shop has dangerous weapons in it. Best put a sticker on that."
"This keyboard is making his wrists sore, better put a sticker on that"
Quote by JacobTheMe
Pubs = Drunk = Me.

Figure it out pal.

Jesus bloody Christ! I had a horrible moment where I thought you WERE the guy in the pub that I'm abusing. Then I saw your picture and my heart restarted.
Hey guys and girls,

So I'm in a cover band now and I've been told I've got really, serious talent. Some guy at the pub last night came over and was like "dude, you're actually talented, I can tell". I couldn't believe it! I was playing terrible covers I hadn't learned and he liked it!

For my experiences being a local celeb then you can view my launch video here:

[mods, all the links asking people to buy my stuff, I'm not actually selling anything, this is a spoof]

Anyhoo guys,

I'll probably see you all on the flipside (the guys in cover bands'll know what I mean, we're just seriously rock and roll).


Why do guys in cover bands act like they're the world's greatest gift to music, and guys playing their own stuff tend to be more laid back?

I'm quite ruined and fancied some face time. Instead, keen for my video fix, I recorded an awesome sick video about my fictional band THE will QUICK EXPERIENCE .

Note: I am ****ing ruined and think this video's hilarious. It might be because I'm high, but make your own mind up.

Do I risk making it as a seperate thread, or does that only seem like a good idea because I'm ruined... Hmm... No doubt by the time any of you realise, the choice would have been made. Can you pray I made the right one?
I think it's a horrible thing to do, but I've done it in the past. I've only ever done it once and it was because I was completely miserable, never saw the girl and was in a situation that made splitting up with her near impossible.

I really regret it. I split up with her soon after and never told her about what I did, which, I think, was the right move.

I think everyone makes mistakes once but if you regularly cheat on girlfriends then there's no denying that you're just a bit of a scum bag.
Quote by NotFromANUS
It's not that I believe in Bigfoot. You know, as a literal entity or something. It's more that I believe in the idea of Bigfoot, as a means of people to maintain a moral compass. The idea of Bigfoot provides my life with a meaning that nothing else has. Well, except unlubricated sodomy.

Haha, exactly what I was thinking. Who the hell "believes" in Bigfoot?

"Hi, my name's Maria and I believe in Allah"

"Hi, my name's Greg and I believe in Jesus"

"Hi, my name's zgr0826 and I believe in Bigfoot"

Quote by cukd7x-a2-
basically, you all know the story of cain and abel... so cain never actually dies, and wanders the earth for the rest of time. Lo and behold, in the 1800's he comes up to a Mormon leader and again in montana to a different guy in 1940.

basically, us mormons have reason to believe bigfoot DOES exist and that he is adam's son, servant of satan, first murderer yadda yadda yadda

I made a suggestion. Feel free to use it at no cost
Quote by Laguna21
The Bermuda Triangle and the Gate of the Gods are two things that constantly grab my attention and make me want to study to find answers for.

Babylon's interesting, but the Bermuda Triangle is a crock of shit, sorry. There's no more accidents there than anywhere else in the world. Plus, the majority of crazy stories that you hear about it are completely made up. Just Google it for 5 minutes and you'll no longer find it interesting.
My main musical ambition is to be in a band that loads of people have remixed. That'd be absolutely awesome.
Quote by spitfirehicks
Tall Ships were awesome that night.

Yeah, they're bloody amazing! We were on tour with them a few months ago and they're the nicest boys on the planet as well.
Quote by freighttrain
TS is English and in English it is organisation

Quote by Fisheth24
Greetings pit. In light of the whole Muslims burning poppy incident I am trying to set up an orginization

Nope, TS is just retarded.
I used to be addicted to a game called EverQuest when I was 14:

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I didn't go outside for almost a year and a half and lost most of my IRL friends. Eventually I realised I was addicted and went cold turkey for three months. When I came back to it I realised how lame it was and how little it compared to actual, real world activities.

Take a break from it. Do something that involves real life activities.
Quote by Firenze

I would not want those nails anywhere near my bellend. They're an impromptu circumcision waiting to happen.

Quote by Todd Hart

You forgot fat, goth witches. I don't understand them. I used to know a fat, goth witch who swore blind that she once killed a man by casting a spell on him over the internet
Quote by mikeyknowsbetter
Many people who i have spoke to have said that they would just love to play one gig, and then they would be satisfied for the rest of their lives.

Why don't they go and play a gig then? It's like me saying "I'd love to eat a sandwich, then I would be happy for the rest of my life"... Just go and eat the damn sandwich / book a gig!

I love playing live. I think I've played something like 200+ gigs between my current band and my last band and it's always awesome (although the novelty wears off after a while on the road if you end up playing shit venues for zero money).

I know I'm always going to be playing music. I don't really care if I ever get a Top 40 single, I just enjoy going out and meeting new people and having a laugh!
I actually created a radio antenna to listen to Jupiter... it sounded awesome. This is 50% of the actual antenna:

It was bloody awesome learning about it. The radiation we pick up is caused by cyclotron radiation from particles ejected from Io spinning through Jupiter's electromagnetic field.

Man I worded that badly, but you get the idea.

Sounds a bit suspicious, brah.
Quote by halo43
Age has nothing to do with culture. What you have done in your time adds to your culture. 200 years to become the most powerful country on the planet, and not have a culture? Ludicrous. Pure bollocks, to use something you might understand.

As much as I like the American people in general, your country is pretty f*cked. Most of the stuff you've given our country is the lawsuit culture and bad TV
I want to move to the 'States purely for the girls.

English accent + devilishly handsome + modesty = severe pussy magentisation
Quote by selibucaz
... lmfao really?!?!?!

... no

As to what everyone was saying about the keyword flagging: that's true to a very minor extent. Google can't release your IP address unless the police have the equivalent of a search warrant.

The way a lot of paedos are caught, at least in the UK, seems to be through credit card charges. I mean, seriously, how dumb do you have to be to buy child porn on your credit card?! I'm not sure if this is how they catch all of them but whenever I've read about a celeb being caught it always seems to be "X was caught purchasing [insert sick shit] with his credit card".

If I worked at HSBC and saw a credit card charge on a guy's statement from PAEDO*NET*GROUP then that'd be a massive red flag.

EDIT: Unless of course he was a paediatrician, in which case I'd be glad that he was keeping up to date with current affairs in his field.
Just had a look at your PureVolume and read:

Quote by your PureVolume
Instead our mission is that through our music and our testimonies you would see what we are really about, you would see Christ

Oh, good another shit, breathy Christian acoustic band. You sound like Enrique Inglesias, minus the talent and the spicy salsa beats.

Instead of trying to get more fans you should probably just give up.
There's no point getting profile views if you've got no plan. What will having more profile views get you? Are you selling digital downloads? Are you trying to get people to sign up to a mailing list to receive updates from your band?

Too many bands want "views" when really it'll actually harm them if they're not in a position to do something with them. If you don't have any way to actually gain something from people visiting you then there's zero point.

That being said, if you want more views then you need to do a full social media promotion. I'm talking Twitter interactions with other bands and people who are following bands that are similar to you, link in your sig on UG, a bandcamp page, YouTube videos etc. etc.
Quote by Victory2134
I think saying the phrase "I'm a pedophile" has already put me on quite a few lists

Yeah, you have to be careful what you say on forums and what your usernames are.

My username on another forum used to be It_Was_Me_That_Molested_That_Man_In_Shoreditch_on_March_7th_2008_at_Approximately_7-15pm

I had to change it after the police claimed they had evidence that showed me molesting a man in Shoreditch on March 7th at approximately 7.15pm. It's a bloody conspiracy.
I feel like the record industry did when music downloads came out.

After enjoying UG as a forum for so long, I just dislike and distrust the whole profile side of things. It seems scary
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Shall I assume that you DID recognise me when I was at Reading station this summer for the festival?

I didn't see you unfortunately, but I saw your post when I searchbarred myself

You should have said hello! Next year we'll make it happen... your real birthday present is being able to hang out in VIP with us and spend some time out of the peasant-camping swamps
Happy birthday!

I got you Reading Station:

Quote by Jack Off Jill
Yakult, no matter how you try to spin your fucked up logic, none of us are ever going to think it's okay that you like little kids.

His book is basically just a rival for the one we're supposed to be discussing.

edit: I think everyone's wasting their time trying to sway that kid's opinion. The only thing any of us are going to learn from this thread is that Yakult supports pedophiles, my girlfriend is messed up, and that I'm a hypocrite for telling pedophile jokes after being harsh with Victory for it.

Damn, I've been rumbled. The only reason I was arguing allt his was to convince NatG that it'd be morally ok for him to send me a picture of his bellend

NatG, my email address is

Anyway, I need to go back to writing The Paedophile Manual: Part II... this book isn't going to cause mass hysteria by itself!

PS If your girlfriend's got any fantasies about being raped in a van then I'll try and gig near you soon. I'll assume that she'll be ok with all the lolicon mags in the back. I'm not into them, it's just research material...
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I'm pretty sure being a pedophile implies that you're an adult Yakult. Being fifteen and wanting to bang a fifteen year old doesn't make you a pedophile.

Yeah, but my point is that his morals are changing. Right now, it's socially acceptable for him to fancy 14 year olds. In 5 years time it will be "wrong".

If there's a set-in-stone "right" and "wrong" then you should always find the same age group of women attractive and always think exaclty the same things.

Maybe paedophiles are the least evil people, because the age range of the girls they lust after has never changed

Anyway, I'm out... I'm writing a book and my deadline's the end of the week!

Much love
Quote by NatG
The point is that they are evil, wrong beliefs and any sane person knows that.

If you fancy a girl in your year at school: you're a paedophile.

At some point in their lives EVERYONE has fancied a girl under 16. What changes is that, as they grow up, they decide it's no longer moral FOR THEM to be interested in these girls.

When you were two years old it was fine for you to shit your pants or piss all over the carpet. It's not now.

Why is this? Surely your morals haven't changed?! If you agree that they have changed, then you agree that morals are relative and constantly changing, and you also agree that nothing is evil because the whole definition of "evil" depends on circumstance.