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Quote by Death_switch
There definitely are other answers.

Telling someone to drink as advice to get over something is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's just a form of escapism and doesn't help with anything, especially when this guy has explicitly said he has emotional issues.



Escapism is pretty helpful when life sucks. Some ultimately unimportant problems, like breakups, seem pretty terrible and overbearing at the beginning, so it helps to run away for a minute. Things don't seem quite as big and bad when you get back... And drinking is awesome.
Quote by xSpider999x
Ok so if there's a girl I don't talk to, but I see her in the hallways without saying anything, and I want to get to know her. Would it be awkward to just randomly add her on Facebook and start talking to her that way or should I wait for the right moment in person?


make the girl you don't talk to into the girl you talk to. in real life. problem solved.
Quote by blake1221
Hit it.


Make me proud.


this
x infinity
Quote by Darkshade666
I'm sorry, what ? Are you serious ?


sometimes they just need an excuse to break up with them
don't worry about hypotheticals. if you find out she has a boyfriend, then its time to worry about her having a boyfriend. ask her out, if she's not single i'd hope she responds appropriately
After so many years of being conveniently single on Valentines day it appears my streak is coming to an end. mixed feelings about it
Quote by Shr3dz0r
Or she's a cold hearted bitch looking to string him along just for fun.



you guys are always so pessimistic nowadays. just give it a go and see what happens. don't put too much stock in any one girl and flaky girls just mean you can ring up another one with that extra ticket you have for whatever. always have a backup yeah?
Quote by burghUK
Ive talked about mixed signals before. Heres the deal now.

negative-
Ive tried talking to her now and then at work or on facebook chat but it always feels like im making an effort and if i stop talking she wouldn't continue

Positive
She asked me to go see some band with her , asked if ill be around some weekends , asked if i missed her bla bla bla

It's all very confusing, she likes me but doesn't like talking to me?..


shy girl?
less talking more doing and all that. just go do stuff with her, see what happens, how she acts around you etc. she clearly wants to spend time with you.
Quote by Freezer Burn
So, the turnoffs we've got so far are:

  • Being slutty.
  • High maintenance.
  • Talking too much
  • Bad kisser.
  • Being too fake physically



Let's hear some more, I wanted to post it in the pit via poll to see what everyone things is the worst. One of the ones I consider to be a big turnoff is if they don't know how to handle their alcohol. Another one is smoking cigarettes, but I think that's a pretty common one.


normally i agree on the smoking thing. although i went out with a girl friday and did not know she smoked until halfway through the night and i suppose it didn't seem like a deal breaker to me at that point.
Quote by USAPeavey
Alright, story incoming:


Wat do?


girls don't know what they want half the time. or they do and tell you something else. words aren't worth a lot. are you happy with where you two are? i imagine not. The easiest way keep things that way is to not change them. you want to change things then press that change. push boundaries and all that. you want an answer about if she's into you besides the obvious inviting you out stuff. kiss her. you'll get an answer. stop thinking about stuff and giving yourself excuses to fail.
Quote by demitriv
Because I didn't want to go out to a bar or hang around town with her and her friends who I barely know, I explained this to her and she seemed fine with this.

Have to say I don't understand that I mean if I get a notification that someone has messaged me I will always check it and I would reply if I had the time which she it appears did if she was able to share youtube videos and post status updates.

Don't think she said that she would be busy she finished quite early for Christmas hence why I thought we'd be able to talk more but anyway. Going to leave it and see if she comes back online/texts me once she gets credit.


leaving it seems the best. dont invest too much if she's not putting any back. find some other girls to spend time with in the mean time. keeps your mind of all the what if nonsense.

for example, last night a coworker said she wanted to hang out when i was leaving work so i shot her a text later, but no response. another girl texted me to go to a bar so i didn't worry about girl1 who texted me this morning at 11 that she just got my text.

lessons: always have more than 1 girl, don't trust technology. both seem applicable to your situation
Quote by mnf50
Ok so this girl I know really likes me and has been dropping loads of hints and I like her back but now she's asked me to be her +1 to this party. Now it'd be really cool to go and everything but I've never been in a relationship or anything before so I'm not really sure I'm ready? I didn't want to offend or anything so I've said that I'll go but I'm still kind of unsure about it. Am I making things worse for myself of should I just go for it and try to enjoy myself?


go. don't try. do enjoy yourself. don't worry about it so much. just let loose and have some fun.
Quote by Carnivean
I appreciate these posts, but I still don't think the real differences between these parties are as minuscule as you claim them to be. Just take the US budget deficit as an example.


to paraphase dylan ratigan's rant, we're arguing about a 4 trillion dollar plan that gets us through obama's second term or if we want to burn the place down. "both are reckless, irresponsible, and stupid."

i understand that there are policy differences but neither party is trying to make MEANINGFUL legislation that tackles these issues. i'd rather get some real change for my future rather than just have to chose the guy that at least uses lube when he ****s me.

And just for people who haven't seen the rant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_ej552cI2E
Quote by Carnivean
^I'm sorry but it no way "pretty much summed it up". Now please, pleeaase don't make me feel ashamed to share the same nationality with you... I beg you. :P


nuanced differences that only matter during election cycles are hardly relevant especially in terms of what the movement is really about. both parties are bought. both parties take in huge amounts of corporate money and then can't enact meaningful legislation on issues like financial regulation because they'll lose funding and risk not being able to compete for reelection. all the democratic rhetoric in the world won't change the fact that ALL politicians represent their donors not their constituents. and that's the core of the problem.
Quote by Psychedelico
Hey RT. I recently started dating this girl. I'm an undergrad (18), and she's a grad student (22). The thing is, she grew up in China and is still a virgin (I'm not). So while I feel it's a natural part of a relationship, she admits that her body wants it, but due to her upbringing, there is something that makes her hold back at least for now. She has indicated that she will probably be ready in a few months.

I don't it magically happening though. Is there something I should do to somehow gradually push her in that direction? Also, I'm not at all familiar with Chinese culture (I'm ethnically Indian, but I grew up in the US, so that's the culture I identify with most ).


you're already communicating with her about it so just keep that up. just gradually work on letting her get more comfortable with being physical. and communicate.

Quote by hendrix n page
Here's one! Me and this girl were really good friends at my old school. I changed schools last year and stopped talking to alot of people. We have started talking again and we are getting fairly close, I've been out with her pretty much every weekend for the past five weeks and I want to ask her out.
I'm not sure wether it's a good idea to ask her out as she drinks alot. We're both 16 and I don't drink and don't really want to.
As well as all this I'm sort of worried that I've been friendzoned as I'm the sort of guy who gets friendzoned by everyone and doesn't try to get out of it.
So is it a good idea to ask her out? Any help is appreciated.


if you want to ask her out its a good idea.
Quote by LK_revival
He's taking pride in self responsibility and passion to better himself. Someday with his mindset, he'll be in a better position in life probably.

Have you ever seen the movie "pursuit of happyness"? If you haven't I suggest it, it is a inspiring movie based on a real person. After you see the movie, I hope you would say, " that guy deserves to be rich".


problem is that this 53% guy isn't rich. he can't even get health insurance. he's working hard as hell and i think he deserves at least to live comfortably if he's willing to put that much effort into it. and yes he should be proud of that. But he should also understand that others exist in different circumstances. he's a medical emergency away from finding out that all the effort in the world won't save you from bad circumstance.
Quote by alex_crawford
WAAAAAAAAT??!!!!


things like this are messy because of miscommunication. this is already messy because of that.
you don't want her messing with other guys.
you tell her if she wants she can keep messing with other guys.
that's what we call a disconnect. letting her sleep with other men is not noble so stop pretending like it is. tell her to stop. if she cares about you like you say she does i'm sure that won't be an issue. if it is she isn't worth as much as you think.
Quote by SupahStrat
no s**t man she's really intimidating for me. She DID like me once, she told me in person but damn she doesn't have to agree to go out with me and that's what puts me down


well by not asking you're not even giving her a choice but to reject you. stop being so disrespectful and give the poor girl a chance to go out with you.
Quote by SupahStrat
I saw her today and dammit I couldn't even say Hi!!!

If I can't say hi how am I gonna ask her out!?


by saying hi...and then asking her out. also grow a pair, man up etc.
Quote by Athabasca
The impression I'm getting from all this is that Facebook chat IS actually an acceptable place to start talking to the mysterious lass in question. What makes this different from, say, how MSN used to be? Never talk to girls on msn bla bla bla.


face to face is obviously better but as long as you can actually talk to her and don't freeze up in real life while you can carry on virtual conversations it doesn't really matter.
Quote by TOMMYB22
advice?


just ask. you already know the girl so you don't need to make small talk unless you really want to at this point.
Quote by DJDark041
Long time lurker, first time poster.


dear god wall of text.

but good on getting out of that. more or less in the beginning sounds like you let her have her cake and eat it to. no reason for thing to move further if she gets what she wants out of it without having to put more into like you want. basically don't commit so much to a girl unless she's equally committing to it. casual dating, having more than one girl in your life etc.
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Woah, woah. Hold the phone. I don't think I'm completely undesirable, I've just never made much of an effort to make things happen.

What I'm wondering now, do I ask her out on a date? Be more subtle? Cause a situation where I can go in for a kiss (I've actually done this once, but I'm not sure how...)


generic, hey do you want to go on a date is no good.
specific activity, time and place. if someone asked me to do something i'd want to know what, busy schedule and all that. something you enjoy doing, not something you think a date should be. if you have a good time, she'll have a good time. if you find yourself feeling like its a good time for a kiss go for it.

also, if you want things to happen, make an effort. you'll be surprised how easy it is.
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Why waste my time going to the gym when I like how I look now?


that's why i said IF.
if you like how you look then be confident about it. you like your personality be confident about it. the key to flirting/girls/whatever is confidence. you want to flirt, stop asking people online how to flirt, and go flirt, just do whatever you think it should be. trial by fire. you want to ask this girl out, ask her to go do something with you and take her out instead of asking us how to do it.
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Tricky as in awkward.

No offence Dayman, because I'm not exactly in a position to criticize. But becoming an extrovert and hitting the gym seem kind of stupid unnecessary just for getting a girlfriend. I'm not looking to become a pickup artist here.


its not to become a pickup artist. its to make yourself better. don't do it if you don't want. but if you want to be more social. become an extrovert. you want to feel better about yourself. go to the gym etc. if there's any part of you you don't like you have to power to change it with some effort.
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Explain like I'm 5. How do I flirt without being creepy?


google The Book of pook, get reading. that's where I got my mindset a million incarnations of this thread ago
Quote by Dje123
I guess no advice? I guess I'll make a tl;dr

There's a girl I like. Ended up friend zoned. I'm trying to get out of the friend zone. A dance is coming up that i can't go to. I fear if i stop talking to her for a bit to start over without the friend zone, i may lose her to whoever asks her to the dance. What should I do?


stop talking to her. if you lose her you lose her but as it stands things won't change. don't place so much importance on her. there's other girls so losing her isn't nearly as big a deal as you probably thing.

take a risk knowing it might not work out because that's the only way to change things.
Quote by Shadu
Dude, I've been thinking the same exact thing this whole time but I could never bring myself to just stop being her friend :/


stop thinking like that and just do it or feel free to stay miserable. your call.
Quote by sticksause
We've been friends for years before we started dating. I dont wanna lose her but i also dont think she should get that nose ring. There's gotta be a way to convince her without causing too much trouble


option 1) don't be a controlling dbag
option 2) explain to her that you think she'll look better without, but if she still wants to do it drop it there and don't be a controlling dbag.
option 3) be a controlling dbag, get dumped.

once it heals she can switch back and forth between a retainer and jewelry, depends on the person but a lot of girls i know with septums switch out a lot. just chill out. don't you have real problems to worry about or something? solving world hunger or wrestling bears or something?
suddenly 07s everywhere.

**** yeah.
Quote by purplehaze2242
I'm disgusted with myself.

I'm in serious need of a relationship, I've never wanted one more in my life. And today I missed the prefect oppertunity to talk to that danish chick I've had my eye on.

I really don't kno what's wrong with me. I usually have no problems talking to chicks but I've noticed I havn't seriously talked to a single woman this year since school started. I'm angry at myself and I don't know why I'm having so much trouble. I've scouted out several women who would be easy to talk to but for some reason I spend more time scouting them out than i do talking to them and I'm enraged at myself for letting two whole weeks go by without seriously talking to any women.


Is there something wrong with me?


just in a rut sounds like. don't spend time scouting, just go over and talk. to hell with scripts and whatever it is is going on in your brain. the advice i give for literally 99% of problems in this thread. don't think, don't worry, do.


Quote by Äkäskero
that does seem to make sense indeed, but from what i've read on here you have to pretend like you don't give a shit anymore to win someone back around because knowing they have you in the bag devalues your attention .. hmm. what would you do in my situation? do you think i should just be like:

'i'm still into you and wouldn't refuse a chance to give something casual a go again, but if we're done, i'd like to keep as much as distance as possible so i can get past this.'?

the other option i guess is just 'play it cool' and not bring anything up. i confess i kind of ****ed up the first month or so with ultimatums and nagging so bring it up is kind of a cringey place to go because she'll be like 'oh no here we go again'. but i haven't contacted her or gone dramallama mode in about 2 months now. so yeh. i guess i'm just thinking out loud. it is quite therapeutic haha

i find it a shame that you only seek advice once you've messed everything up and all it does is point out how and where you messed it all up. i guess there's no denying it is useful in the long run though, even though it just makes you feel like an ass after reading how badly you played it. they should scrap sex ed in schools i think and get you or vad in to teach people how to handle relationships



i discourage talking about stuff like that in a newer relationship, you've got history etc. so i don't think talking about relational issues is as much a taboo especially if it offers the quickest cleanest way to moving on.

the best option is obviously to move on. RIGHT NOW. you go in, no emotions, no expectations, as clean a slate as possible and see where things go but don't try and force one thing or another. enjoy the moment for what it is, don't worry about what it isn't.
Quote by Äkäskero


i stated that too man but it doesn't seem to make her take it any better.

i know i keep banging on about my shit in here but seeing as it's not that busy tonight i thought why not haha

the reaction i'm getting is that i'm being really dramatic and harsh and being too drastic and childish. meh. even when i explain completely why. and when i explain to her how i'll just end up going for her again she doesn't seem bothered, as if it wouldn't be an issue.

i'm just kinda starting to freak a bit now. i've been anticipating this whole 'round 2' thing happening for a while now (moving back in to same flat as ex who split with over summer break).

i think it's added an odd twist on my situation .. as both of us know this isn't over by a long shot .. we know we're going to end up back together, if only in the physical living sense come the 16th .. gah. the closer the date gets the more tense i feel and i have no idea what seeing eachother in person for the first time in 3 months will do to me emotionally.

and this whole cut contact idea is kind of shit on too. like, do i tell her straight i don't want her hanging around me or coming out on night outs with me or do i just lie and make excuses for shit?


well that's a bit more complicated of a situation i suppose but my advice is always to be upfront. makes complicated matters as simple as they can get
Quote by hootie37
One more thing, heres the kicker, im gonna have to call her, cuz i cant drive, and shes two years older than me, but she knows all tht, so should i still do it?


less excuses more calling.
Quote by hootie37
Hey, i know this sounds really dumb, but what should i say, just, "hey ___, my schools homecoming is coming up, would you like to go with me?"

Sorry, i forgot to say that we go to different schools, shouldnthat make a big difference?


no that makes no difference. feel free to flirt with her a little before hand but that seems straight forward enough and all that.

@akaskero the girls i've ended things on good terms with i told i'd cut contact with when we broke up. i was moving so that helped and all. got odd texts and had conversations here and there but she understood why.
of course i moved back and an accidental pocket dial led to one thing and then another
Quote by hootie37
Alright, fellas(and ladies, but lets be serious, hearty laughter and so on),

i have a pretty bad dilemma right now, my schools homecoming is coming up and i need a date. There is this one girl i was "talking" with not long ago, but that kind of ended due to different things.

But anyways, we dont really talk too much anymore, and i saw her the other day and she seemed to not think of me badly or anything. Im thinking about just calling her up, kind of out of the blue, and just asking her to be my date, but i dont want to be a "ew, creepy" type of thing. I'm hoping it'll be a "yes, id love to!" type thing.

Im really beating myself up over this, so if someone could help me out, thatvwould be cool. And i have about 3 weeks to ask, if that helps.

Thanks.


do it. no expectations just get it out of your system. she says yes great, she says no you have time to find someone else. stop thinking, stop worrying, start doing.
are there actually other 07ers?

so alone.
first. go to vegas.
second. continue seeing this girl, she has given you zero reasons to stop.
now i'm usually not a fan of the whole lets talk and define the relationship thing but other people are. my general thought is that things naturally progress to you both not seeing other people and its best to wait for her to bring it up as opposed to over committing yourself. but apparently she's good at gambling so maybe you don't want to play too many games with her
either way everything sounds far from terrible for you at the moment so don't worry about it too much
Quote by skylerjames13
Okay. I think I can do this.
I'm sorry for everything, really. Things are just so so ****ed right the **** up right now. I'm heart broken. We had plans for her to move here in May.

What do I do about the things I've given her? I gave her a ring. It was 400 dollars. There's no ****ing way I'm losing that.



tell her you want it back. be straightforward.
Quote by skylerjames13
How do I find happiness and confidence when I've never, ever had it?
I just want things to be okay again.


@blesseddead But what if I can make things better and she takes me back?

I'm torn. I want to end it with her and get on with life, but I don't because I'd have no one, and I still love her.


why settle for things being ok when they could be better?

you want confidence, choose to be confident.
you want happiness, choose to be happy.
you need to figure out that both of those are things you have complete control over if you just commit to them. decide that no one else can control them and they can't.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!! she cheated on you. TWICE! she's wasn't even drunk. she was stone cold sober and ****s some guys brains out and YOU'RE ASKING HER TO TAKE YOU BACK. you won't have anyone. who cares. define yourself instead of clinging to some ***** for self validation.
Quote by skylerjames13
But I've given so much in this relationship. I don't want it to be all for nothing.
I'm being very stubborn, I know. I realize everything you guys are saying, and I'm scared. Tomorrow, we are gonna talk one last time, and she's having a bit of time to sort everything out with her feelings, about the things I've done to her.
I'm scared to say it's over. She's the thing I look forward to everyday.


SUNK COST. the best thing you can do for your relationships is take an economics class. if you're businesss is going down there comes a time where you have to walk away. close shop. because ITS NEVER GETTING BETTER. no matter how much you invested in it, pumping more into it won't always get you returns. one of the best skills you can learn is walking away even if there's nothing waiting for you.

Quote by CrunchyRoll
Find your own happiness and the women will come naturally.

That is the truth


this a million times over.
Quote by skylerjames13
But I love her. Literally, my goal is life is to die with someone I love, while having a family. I wanted to start a family with her. How can I just leave someone I love? There is no one else.


because you have a ridiculous concept of love if what you and her have is love. love is a two way street. its not romance and high school sweethearts. love is trust and respect. what you have isn't love its really bad self esteem. you deserve better than this girl. stop settling for what you know. stop perpetuating your own misery because you're too caught up in your own diluted fantasy to go find what really makes you happy. it is not this girl and it never will be. wanting a family someday is fine but as long as you set your goals on other people not on yourself you'll be chasing disappointment the rest of your life.