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So has a relationship break ever worked for you?
It's been a week of a no contact break and to be honest it's killing me..slowly. It was my girlfriends idea as she said she needed space. I'm seeing her friday but deep inside..something is telling me to end it. We have been together 3 years and she is honestly everything to me...I can't let go. I think she truly loves me as well but she isn't happy and she has no idea why.
It's been the worst part of my life so far. Any help/advice would be appreciated
It'll hit you in a few days or a week or two. It usually does. Same thing happened with my last breakup. First few days were swell, then when i realized she just isn't there anymore it struck close to the heart. Working out did wonders, though. I quit smoking a while back and i got to rediscover the joys of being able to run, bike, skate, etc.
My FWB had now blossomed into the most amazing thing I could imagine, but my situation is unique, though technically so is every other.
It depends on how you far you take "friends" (acquaintances vs actual friends vs best friends); "with" (how often you are with/around this person); and "benefits" (don't need to explain this one, but also consider the non-sexual or even sexually-specific).
Kind of on topic, am I the only one who thinks silence when angry isn't such a bad thing?
Activity, I was thinking about the movies, but since it's the first date, I don't know if that's too awkward.
Best thing to do on a first date, with the lowest possible chance of awkwardness?
So. I met this girl (classic way to start any story huh?). She's pretty amazing. She's in my audio recording lab here at school, and we have another class together. She's a musician, she's smart, funny, not hard to look at at all. I've been here for two weeks and every time we see eachother we talk and laugh a lot, we have a lot in common. I'd really like to ask her out this weekend, I really can't think of a girl I've ever liked more...
Last night there was a free ice-cream dance party thing on campus. She messaged me on facebook and told me to come over. I walked across the campus in the pouring rain just to see her (totally romantic right? hahaha). I get there and don't see her. Then she came over and said hi and that she was glad I came. She ran off and I eventually made my way to where everyone was dancing. This is about when I started not existing...Plus it probably didn't help that fear, nerves and whatnot all hit me at once.
SO I got all awkward turtle and went back to my dorm...What do I do?
Okay; I don't normally post here about... much. Lol
So basically, there's this really awesome girl who my best friend had a crush on for a little while. I am the best friend ever, so I didn't make any moves on her, in fact, I hung out with her last night to tell her that she should go for him and basically insure that they would get together. And I think I completely platonicized myself, she thinks of me as a straight forward friend, not sexually that I know of.
Today I found out that he decided that he didn't like her... I helped catalyze her getting completely screwed over and led on by my best friend, when I talked him up as the sweetest, nicest guy ever... So a bunch of conversations later, they are pissed at each other and they are no where near friendly... (He completely douched up the place to the nth degree, it was painful and I am objectively pissed off at him for how shitty it was.)
And I'm getting feelings for her...
I think I have at some point. My friend doesn't really care, as long as I remember I still owe him money and try to pay when I can. On the other hand, I have asked my bf before and he kind of just forgot about it I guess. Didn't bother bringing it up again bc I didn't want to nag.
We spoke about the issue some more today and I guess he is changing the terms of our financial arrangement. I believe his exact words were: " We will have bills. I will pay them. If you want to contribute, be my guest."
I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I may not make as much but I don't want to be a freeloader (as comfortable as that sounds).
Okay, that seems reasonable. I think that would be the best option at this point.
What about this: Since I didn't have a job when I was supporting him, I had to borrow money from my friend to help pay for my boyfriends's rent (I know, messy debt situation here). My friend is very lenient and told me I can pay whenever so I'm paying him in installments. Is it reasonable for my bf to at least contribute to paying the amount I owe my friend since the money went to him ultimately? Or is that all on me since I was the one who borrowed the money?
When I hear about how when girls you know get attracted to you..there's a certain amount of time to make your move before it's too late, is that true?
Like, if you don't make your move straight away, even though you may have known her for a while, is it a "never have a chance with her again" kind of thing as people put it?
Seems a bit farfetched to be but I don't know.
Man, you're a psych major, correct? You should know better than to get threatening when the Amygdala takes control. Could have resulted in even more backlash. And I'll only mention this one more time. Do not waste your time pming me about how your feelings are hurt. I delete that kind of childish shit on sight.
I think it'd be fair that if he pays your rent up to the same amount you call it a wash. As long as you talk about it beforehand and he understands that
Did I not just say you should have read it? I never said you should have assumed a thing.
And it's your preference to not read "wall o' texts", but it's also my preference to correct you when you make declarations that are unnecessary and uninformed. I'm sure if I told any two users to take something to pm which was already concluded, I'd be rightfully corrected and set straight.
This is one of those times you should have read it, at least either of our last posts. Pretty sure it was summed up by now.
Hey guys! I was at her place last night. Met her peeps and there was a good vibe between everyone. Feeling really good about her and me It wouldn't feel too unnatural to just glide into a relationship from here, so is a DTR absolutely necessary in all cases?
Who's going to play me in this global masterpiece? Moreover, how many soft rock workout montages am I going to get?
Well, I know I've been predominantly absent from the RT for quite a while, although frequently lurking and not feeling the need to get involved (yous lot done good).
In spite of this, there's so much stuff going on in my actual real life, that I'm not realistically going to have the time to get on here at all any more, either for lurking or the odd post.
It's been a fun few years with some very fond memories (albeit with my activity getting less and less) but the time has come to move on from here.
Lots of of love to all of you, and I hope this thread maintains a bastion of seriousness and proper help in the cesspit that is The Pit, keep up all the good work guys and gals.
@me+yourmom=69, are you really asking or are you trolling around?
How can stop being afraid of girls?
I'm not old. I keep back the grey hairs through pure intimidation.
Intimidating hair isn't easy. It's been around a while, and it's got serious attitude.
I know. I am loving all these perceptions of you, though. I am going to gather all the inaccurate ideas and write a fake biography about you. Ill just keep adding on to your fake life and eventually everyone will believe me. My logic is flawless.
Did you guys know Tom also used to be an astronaut? Oldest astronaut in space, actually. He takes his type writer up there and that's where he writes all of his novels. In fact, that's actually where he goes when he disappears from this forum. Just floats around in space with his type writer and intimidates his sassy hair. This is 100% true, you have my word.
I feel all dirty just from reading whatever crap you just spouted.
Because we're friends, I know her fairly well, as does she for me, you know?
How do I get girls if im ugly?
So I've known this girl for about 5 years, close with her family. She always said I was like her brother till about last summer when I broke up with my ex and she broke up with hers so we were hanging out to keep our mind off things. When a few nights later she was drunk and text me saying how she's "always liked me" and wanted to date me. We hooked up and all However her ex came back and so did mi r and that was that. Then the same thing happened and we started talking. So a year later her ex who beats her, cheats and all that she calls me all tr time saying "come pick me up" and we hang out. He forbids her to talk/hang with me which she still does. Hes extremely controlling and often takes her phone.
So I'm confused. Like a week ago she sent me a nude photo of her "private area" and a few days later she was out of town and snapchated me a boob pic, and then talked to me for 3 hours till she fell asleep? But when she's in town she rarely replies (usually cuz he beats her and takes her phone) so I'm pretty confused. She says she's leaving him. They live together but the lease is up in the next 2 days so let's hope he's not moving into the new place!
I've always really had feelings for her and still do. I've planed to speak with her about it but haven't had the chance as he seemingly holds her against her will. Advice? Let me know! Thanks. (Yes I have already kicked this kids ass) lol
It's incredibly off putting when someone has to do such things prior to a date in order to try and relate to someone better. I'm someone who puts an incredibly high value on improvisation, and the fact that someone would mention something in a previous post of mine, or even like a birthday 'on accident' would make me feel very uncomfortable.
Too much thought is put into these things and these kind of strategies go hand in hand with the prefabrication of potential conversation.
As for the coffee bit, I'd never put that much attention into a woman, but then again, I have a very steep affection curve with women.
This is what I mean. Who's is it? Do you really need to read up on how to just talk to women like they're real people? And it's just stuff like this. Like I've said before, often times you and others make it seem like it's some kind of strange game and it all seems off to me.
Pssh, it better be! I work hard for them hearts stalking you isnt easy, you know
A fella I just recently broke it off with was like this. He was fiercely observant and his memory was scary good. I don't think he was trying to take notes, either. I think he was just naturally incredibly observant and aware. He used his intel wisely, anyways; he was always very thoughtful and sweet. Other times he came off creepy, but most times thoughtful.
Then again he did admit to stalking my Facebook AND my ultimate-guitar posts. So maybe it was a little bit of memory, little bit of stalking.
If you are reading this right now, stop stalking me, come over, and go to the rock gym with me, asshole.
Agreed. Dated a dude once who took me to dinner. I ordered a decaf and put two sugar packets in and lots of cream in. For our next date, he picked me up. With decaf, double cream, double sugar. Dude doesn't even drink coffee! It was marvelous.
It's one thing to facebook stalk someone, but to give them constant little snippets of information you saw there during a date to try and prove you're trying just seems incredibly off.
All I'm saying is that moderation is incredibly important, you can't just berate her with it
So many things FB says seem off to me. I still can't get over that he has a word for starting a perfectly normal conversation and refers to it as a strategy.
Stalking you is a hobby of mine, yes. In my defense, I have nothing better to do with my life
Nah, I was just browsing UG while watching it, and some of the PUA-esque strategy stuff came up in it, and it reminded me, and I associated it.
Speaking of stalkers, though! I forgot to update on my creepy stalker situation, if any of you remember me mentioning it a while back. Just a warning, it is pretty anti-climatic (thankfully).
I blocked the number after the first day, shortly after posting about it, and didnt look back. Didnt go on inquiring my close friends about it or anything either. Never found out who it was or why. Decided I didnt care. Havent gotten a strange visit or even heard anything of it since.
FB, I just finished watching a movie called Coffee Town, and Ben Schwartz in it reminded me of you. Is that weird ?