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I'm sorry man, no one deserves to go through something like that. I've never physically been cheated on, but I can bet it's a real shitty feeling to have.

We're here for you *hug* (since :hug : ) doesn't work anymore
Quote by fc89konkari
I asked this girl out last week, we've known as friends for almost a year, but we've always had that spark when we talk. Anyhow, she legitimately had something else so she couldn't make it. I told her that I'm busy for the rest of the week, but then yesterday asked whether she could make it as I perhaps could've. She couldn't, but her was something like "****! Im really sorry, please dont think I'm blowing you off but [blablabla + legitimate reason]"

Now we've been texting every now and then and I told her I went to the movies yesterday as the guys asked me to go. Btw, we went to see Kickass 2 and it was friggin awesome. Go watch it. Now. Anyhow, she replied with something like "really? you should've seen now you see me".

That confused me. Firstly because even though it's quite clear what she said, the grammar was a bit off (I'm quite sure? Not a native speaker here, even though we texted in English). Secondly, that would've been normal, had we gone out last week. Well we didn't, and that's why I found it a bit odd. Not that it bothers me in the way that "oh thats too fast", because it doesn't.

What I'm asking is if someone could clarify what she means with that, or what is she possibly thinking about me/us?

Thanks!
J

EDIT: Finally, I feel normal again, as I'm coming back to this thread with actually something genuent. Please accept me back, as I finally got over the Sarah bullshit and gotten some sense in my head again. Peace and love!

EDIT: HAPPENING RIGHT NOW she told me she's going to see Moulin Rouge with 3 of her friends (inc. an exchange student of hers who just came to Finland yesterday, I already know the others). I've got some other shit on that day (Monday) but I might be able to reschedule (thats what I told her, and its true). I figured I'd be more comfortable with that (because of her friends), again, had we gone out last week. That being said I'd really want to spend time with her. Should I go? Why or why not?


She didn't capitalize "Now You See Me" oh man, that's harsh as it easily confused me too. How well do you know her friends?

Quote by mickel_w
Ok, prepare yourselves, because this is gonna be quite long, telling you the whole backstory here :P something for you to dig your teeth into pit.

So I've liked this girl from school for a month or two, and recently it turned out she likes me too. We didn't really use to talk before, so obviously it was kinda awkward at first as it is at school with all your mates or whatnot being dicks and making it even more awkward on purpose. Then, we both went to this end of school party thing at my mates house (totally crazy btw) and she started trying to make me jealous or whatever by sitting on my mates knee right in front of me (ye, i get pissed off with that kinda stuff) but we kinda got talking more when we were a bit less ourselves and a bit more.. um.. under the influence. Anyway, the day after the party she text me. Thats when we started exchanging a lot of texts, kinda flirty etc, you get the idea, saying we like each other blah blah. Then we decided to meet up, get to know each other a little bit better. Awkward at first but ended up being ok and we got off with each other at the end of the night and she said she will text me. We kept texting and meeting up, met up six times now altogether, both been to each others hoouses (watched a film at mine, a horror, i knew it would be a wise choice ).

Then, i was supposed to sleep at her house with her friend and my friend (they go out) but it turned out i couldnt go, and i was really pissed off (apparently so was she). The day after that my other mate was having a party, and i was planning to meet up with her that night but ended up going to the party and meeting her later on that night, bringing her back to the party as if she was my gf and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS TRICKY: i went off to say helllo to a few people, but i came back to her and she was acting like she didnt want to be around me/didnt know me, even got her friend to sit in between us, just avoiding me altogether. Later that night she said shes sorry and it was because lots of people at the party were pressurin gher saying oh you gonna get with him etc, up to the point where one of my 'mates' stuffed a condom down her bra saying use it well.... We kinda made up later on and kissed etc.

*blah blah*

peace out


Girls smells like trouble to me, I don't think I'd give her much more of my attention if she's going to act like that.

P.S. To some that means something complete different o.O

P.P.S. WTF HAHAHAHAHA, sorry but that's kinda funny..... and rude

Quote by blake1221
Hood up.


Always.


Umbrella > hood up > hood down
Quote by darrenram1
I'm in a weird kind of situation but first a little backstory

Three years ago, my family moved to Myanmar. I started school there and everything was good. Then in the second semester of my first school year, I develop a crush for this girl. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I spend the next two years at this school trying to impress her. I might have succeeded(I accidentally discovered rock music while trying to find a song that matched my feelings for her), she was giving the usual signs like laughing at my jokes, eye contact when we talked, whenever her friends teased her about me she would blush etc.Anyway, I also decided to learn guitar to impress her (now I also love playing the guitar). After those two years, I switched schools. I was devastated. I couldn't get her out of my mind.

Fast forward to the next year, my dad gets a job in my country and we move back. I still can't get her out of my mind. The only way to contact her is through Facebook. I sent her a friend request but she hasn't accepted it yet because the last time she was online was june 28. Every time I look at her Facebook profile I feel weirdly full of energy. You might just say its infatuation but I don't think it lasts for 3-4 years.

All replies are hugely appreciated.

PS I did try the usual advice of forgetting about her but it didn't work. School starts on Monday so I might be able to get her off my mind for a few hours a day.


You never even kissed this girl. By thinking of no one except her, you are limiting your options in the upcoming year to virtually zero. Besides, you had two years to try anything with her, and you waited 2 years too long, so consider getting over her self-punishment and motivation to not wait as long when you get the next chance with a girl. Also, you will find ones out there better than her in almost all aspects, why shelter yourself from them instead of giving them a chance?
Quote by ibrahimasood
Do you guys reckon life would be so much better if one were to be an asexual?


That's a negatory. Sounds like it'd be a really boring life.
Quote by Mark Roxx
^Well now I feel like she won't want to talk to me anymore.


That's a pretty common response for girls after guys misinterpret things (don't worry, we've all made this mistake before, myself included). Things will be different for a bit, there is no way around, but the way you handle it will determine your friendship in the near-future.
Quote by Mark Roxx
So I asked her if what the things we've done for the past year were dates. She said "I'd probably call them hanging out." So I guess that's it, huh?


I reread through all of your just now and I definitely see your problem. What you thought were dates, no one else (guy or girl) would have considered them dates solely on the reason that they were spaced out of the course of a year. To her, it's easy to see why they were just hanging out. You may not have all that experience with women (and to make it clear, that is totally fine, half the people that ask questions these days don't ), but you need to make your intentions more clear WAY earlier in the beginning stages.

Read through my post here (on the first section) and see if that helps you with anything.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showpost.php?p=31785629&postcount=1496
Quote by megano28
There's a fundamental difference between someone being attracted to newfound confidence and someone getting jealous because you're dating and getting along rather well without them.

I don't she's attracted to the fact that he feels more confident, like you mentioned. I believe it has something to do with the fact that he just doesn't care(or is doing a damn good job of pretending) about it anymore and is looking like he's on the fast track to forgetting her. imo that kind of panic is going have her thinking much more.


They are one in the same. The new confidence allows him to not care at all, giving him the opportunity to jump on that fast track.

Quote by ibrahimasood
Hey guys,
I feel really pathetic for writing this but hey ho, can anyone can help me out please?
So basically I have never had a girlfriend so I decided to join an internet dating site (called POF).

After deleting it and then re-joining it again a month ago an amazing woman messaged me and she kept calling me handsome and generally started to compliment me and we got on very well (now having a low-ish self esteem and never having a gf I planned on not losing here) alas after a day or two she stopped messaging me which got me slightly annoyed but I shrugged it off.

Just last week she messaged me apologizing how she stopped speaking and saying that she had to fly back to America as her uncle unfortunately passed away and gave me her number so we pretty much spoke via texting.

I just want to know wether you guys think if she is interested in me at all as around 2 days ago she just replies to me without really trying to make an effort with me for example, she flies back to England today as I said 'Awesome! Uhh packing is such a nightmare I find, always forget something, how long is the flight?' followed by 'Have a safe flight amigo and I guess I shall'th speak to you here then'

and all she said was '10hrs'

Should I know let her make the move when she arrives to England or should I message her when she comes back to England?

Thanks guys

Edit: I should probably mention that in the last week, we spoke quite a bit and since I have never had so much affection coming from another woman I got quite attached to her


She's probably going through a rough time emotionally, give her ample time before talking to her, and I'd even suggest waiting for her to message you.

Quote by ManInTheBox14
Hey guys. Some things happened.
1) I've known this super cute girl for like 8 months. We started talking a lot near the end of school last year and I got kind of interested in her right as school ended but wound up not doing anything. We're both editors for our school newspaper, so last week (school started this week) we met with our sponsor to get stuff planned out for this year. He (our sponsor) suggested we come up with some more ideas, and so just the two of us (she and I) met up a couple of days later. At the end of that thing, I invited her to a concert I was working at and she sounded really excited even though she'd never heard of any of the artists or the venue but she wound up not being able to make it cause of work. This week she's been flirting with me quite a bit - laughing at all my stupid jokes, teasing me about stuff, touching me, etc. Today she was flirting harder than ever; at one point she gave me one of those hard, flirty eye-contact stares, you know, with her eyebrows half raised and stuff, and she told me my laugh is cute :3

2. After class I decided to actually ask her out (the concert thing wouldn't have been since I would have been working some), so I asked if she wanted to do something tomorrow night, but she was just like "I have to work" and so I was like "Aw, that sucks," and laughed it off, and she said "Yeah" and it was the end of school and we were parked on opposite sides of the building so we walked away.

3. I don't really feel bad about this, and it was the first time in over a year I'd asked out a girl, so I'm proud of myself to an extent, but I just really don't know what to do. I thought it seemed like she was into me (what do you guys think?) but I'm worried about it now and don't know how to proceed. Thanks in advance for any help RT dudes.


Balls in her court. You can either wait around for her to do something about it, or not.
Quote by megano28
I'd put my money on her being jealous.


Girls are not jealous creatures

/sarcasm

I thought that her being jealous was a given?

Quote by Peaceful Rocker
She said some shit the other day. I was like, 'hey how're you doing? are you ok?"

And she was like, "yeah i'm alright, are you happy?"

I replied, "actually, i'm really happy". She said " I figured you would be".

Kind of pissed me off. I was happy with her to! The only reason I wasn't was because she was flirting with other men. I for sure wasn't this happy though, lol. I wanted to work shit out with her, she's incredibly beautiful and smart. She sort of wants to play it off now like she knew i'd be better off without her? Bullshit.


I wouldn't have even bothered to ask her that question. And she's saying that because she may have some regrets about her actions, but who cares, you're past this emotionally tortuous woman.

Quote by guitarxo
My boyfriend who doesn't live here doesn't want me to go clubbing anymore. He isn't against clubbing in general. he still goes clubbing, and it isn't fair because I want to go clubbing too. I told him this and he was kinda annoyed for a while and then he said he'd be ok with it if I only went with girls. But the guys who are there are my friends and I can't just not go with my friends. I don't even mind going sober or anything but he said that wouldn't make a difference because I cant protect myself from people or something. Firstly, I look disgusting when I go clubbing cuz I'm all sweaty and stuff, and secondly if I went with my guy friends there wouldn't be anything to worry about at all in terms of creepy people. So yeah we started arguing about it quite a bit and so I started being silly and said stuff like "we met at ____ [club] so whenever I go there I'll be reminded of you" etc but he was really pissed off and I'm quite upset too and I don't really know what to do now.


What a wanker. Why is he being such a dick about it?
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
I almost think my ex can smell the other women on me, because last night she was parading around in the living room looking so ****ing sexy. I've done good though, haven't even thought about getting back with her for one second. Shes going to look at this new place today and hopefully it works out, because im ready to be alone.

I also had a wierd dream last night, that she was blowing me and I just blew a load all in her face no warning or anything. What does that mean you think?


That's because girls like confident guys, and when you are with a lot of women, you are confident, and women notice; a statement that cannot be stressed enough in this thread.

Your dick misses her, but your brain doesn't.
Quote by Rossenrot
Discussing every angle and aspect of the male-female courtship disarms us by making us overthink every thing we do.

Just be yourself. Women aren't as superficial as they're made out to be.


Agreed. And the ones that are superficial are worth your time anyway.

Quote by UntilISleep
Has anyone ever experimented with the asshole approach? I tried it once. I got called an asshole. Calling BS on that one.


It works for me on occasion, but it has to be with the right girl. You probably actually came off as just an asshole, instead of a funny asshole. I made a post about it on here awhile back, lemme see if I can find it.

Edit: No dice. It's on here though, just didn't want to look for too long
Quote by EndTheRapture51
If marriage is supposed to be about love then take away any tax incentives of it so it's kept as a romantic thing and not a financial thing.

However if we take away the ability to divorce, thousands or people will just be having affairs, both men and women might be stuck in abusive, loveless relationships until the end of time, causing much misery and pain, and all because people thought too quickly when they were young.

We don't wanna be going back to Henry VIII times here.


The government will always be ******ed, no way anyone will change that.

I'm not saying take away divorce, but people need to actually seriously think about long-term before getting married.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Divorce is a positive thing because it allows people with irreparably broken relationships to get out of loveless marriages.


I feel quite the opposite. Divorce rates are really high (~50%) meaning that half of marriages will end in divorce. That's a really high number, and it indicates (in my opinion) that people are getting married and not thinking long term. It also doesn't help that you see a lot of celebrities getting divorces, making it seem like it's an okay thing to do.

Marriage is suppose to be a inseparable union between a man and a woman. Divorce is just becoming too easy nowadays, and it is usually a cop-out because people rushed into things and don't want to deal with trying to fix it.
Quote by Mark Roxx
This was our 7th date. We ice skated till we got tired. Then we talked casually for a while outside. Then when we were ready to go home, she came over to my car (she drove there herself) and gave me a hug goodbye as usual. While we were hugging I asked her for a kiss goodbye. She (without hesitation) gave me a short "hmwha" kiss on the cheek. Then she said she'd give me her email (for whatever reason. I've had her number for over a year) then we left.

She seemed happy about everything...do friends give each other kisses...? Did she just do it to appease me? Was she nervous? These are questions I wish i knew the answer to.


Is she a time-traveler from the 1990's?
Quote by Acϵ♠
Dont lead with your tongue.


I lol'd. Protip: don't miss.
Quote by lolmnt
OH REALLY? I COULDN'T TELL THAT FROM YOUR POSTS THE LAST FEW PAGES AT ALL.


How are you able to interpret my posts as being competitive?
Quote by megano28
Just play with the bumpers, if you play it off right, you get big points with your date. Besides, if you still lose at that point, she'll think you gave her the game because you can't be that terrible at bowling.


It's pretty obvious once someone meets me that I'm one of the most competitive people they've ever met. I don't give stuff like that away
Quote by Highelf04
That generally seems to be the case with college/university relationships....
And I'd imagine those couple of years after graduating.

There's just not really a brilliant way to start that convo, is what I've found...


What do you mean? It's not rocket science, they are merely women.


On the current topic: fuck bowling, I suck at bowling but I'm really competitive, and whenever I take a g/f there it just ends in disaster because I'm an asshole with sporting events
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Yeah its the fact you have your own room/house. You can have girls over late, you can be as loud as you want, and you can be a lot more comfortable without parents/siblings coming in and embarrassing you, you can have girls come over and sleep in the same bed as you with no issues, the freedom is just a lot easier now you don't have your home schedule to worry about.

"Wanna come over and watch a film" is generally code for various things.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-skZx5liyaM

For all you Seinfeld fans, this is so appropriate.

Quote by StreetLight3989
Well thanks for the help guys. It wasn't wahat I wanted to hear but I guess I needed to hear it.

We're hanging out next week, she said she still needs time to think, but I guess I have a silver of hope.

Meanwhile I set up a date with the other girl I was talking to at that party so I'm not focusing all my energy on this one girl.


Good move with the other girl.

Quote by National_Anthem
Ok, so this is something that's been troubling me for a while, and I have no idea what to do.

I've been in a relationship for coming up to 2 years now, everything is generally going great: we communicate well, and still have a mostly happy relationship. The only problem for me is, (and I feel terrible saying this) my girlfriend just seems to have the worst luck in the world. Amongst other things, she had bed bugs (and a really severe allergic reaction to them) at her old flat, got mugged, she had bronchitis, had extensive problems with her plumbing in her new place, lost two family members, had another with depression, her mother's new boyfriend is an alcoholic, and on top of that she's substantially overdrawn (although within her overdraft limit).

I love her to bits, and I want to support her as much as much as I can, emotionally, and do whatever I can financially (I generally never lend money to anyone, but I've lent her money, and she'll have it back within a couple of days). Although she's dealing really well with everything, she has leant on me fairly heavily in the past 6 months. God knows, none of this is her fault, but I am studying full-time at the same time as pursuing a freelance career, and I've had a really manic year work-wise, as well as personal stresses of my own. I'm not someone that deals well with stress, and I just have no idea what to do about it, because I don't really feel like I can support all of our problems at the moment. Obviously I can't ask her to stop having problems, or coming to talk to me about them, and I'm not saying I want to break up with her. It's not like being with her is constantly a drag and an emotional drain, we still have a lot of fun, and things are mainly good.

I'd love any advice on how to deal with stuff like this. Am I being an ass?


Idk if you're religious or not, but if you are, you could try praying about it. It seems like you are being as positive as you can be, and you're being a great boyfriend for her. There isn't much we can do to help you with this unfortunately, just keep doing what your doing.

Quote by StreetLight3989
Maybe, maybe not, but I'm not giving up on her just yet. I won't push it, but if it doesn't work out when we hang out I'm giving her a mix tape of our favorite songs together and telling her I can't be friends with her anymore. I also still have plans to see Circa Survive with her, but I might cancel those.


My sides!
Quote by fc89konkari
On the topic, does that really happen when you go to Uni? I'm still in high school, and for a bit (not that there's anything wrong with it) it sound like going back to junior high as far as getting together goes. I find that way much more comfortable rather than asking someone out. The latter one's fine except that asking a woman out makes me a bit nervous

Is there any sneaky ways of bringing that part of Uni-life to high school, so that I could just hang around women and start spending more time with one and simply become an item?


I haven't heard anyone use "Will you go out with me?" since I was a junior in high school (6 years ago). Nowadays, after a couple of dates or whatever, the couple may choose to have a DTR (defining the relationship) talk.
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
I remember asking girls out in highscool.

There was never any "where are we going to go?", it was just "oh, well now we're goin out"

continue walking down the hallways as always. haha it's so stupid looking back on it

But yeah.. the most normal cycle seems to be start doing it together, the relationships forms shortly afterwards. The whole concept of waiting for marriage is just ******ed, I don't even wait for us to be "dating". I wanna know how the sex is before I commit to anything


Guy: "Will you go out with me?"

Troll girl: "Out to where?"

*Guy rages*
Quote by yellowfrizbee
Good, cause you know I luh you bby

Its okay. I used the phrase "Holy cow" in the sex thread once. My cool points dropped so fast.


I think this means we're married now right?

And oh lol, I still use "holy cow" sometimes

Quote by Harvey Swick
my bro came to me complaining tonight...


Care to add anything else?

Quote by Drapte
Streetlight I wanna help you out if u will take my advice. Don't take any of what I am about to say the wrong way but you have made some fatal mistakes.

Firstly, never come out verbally with a girl, especially with a "friend". A girl has to like you first, you aren't going to convince her to, espcially not by begging which is my next point.

When you say to her "I told her that there was something there and that I wasn't giving up" and "I asked her if I could ask her again the next time we hung out" you are BEGGING.

Think about how you would feel if a girl that was your friend that you weren't attracted to said those things to you. Would you be thinking "Gee I can't wait for her to convince me about how I am wrong about my feelings" or would you be thinking "Geez what a drip why doesn't she get a life and chase somebody that actually likes her."

The main problem here and why you think you might "be in with a chance" is because you are looking at how you feel about her and PROJECTING it and RATIONALIZING that she feels the same way about you. In reality the way you feel about a girl has NOTHING to do with how she feels about you but you let your ego get in the way and convince you that it does. Now you've wasted 3 years and a potential 100 dates because you read the situation wrong.

If I were you I would tell this girl you are happy just being friends and never speak to her again. Go get other girls phone numbers and forget & learn from this wimpy part of your life.

Peace Out


Oh gosh, my sides

Anyway, I agree with all of it. Good points with the projection and rationalizing errors, valid in my opinion. However, he doesn't have to never speak to her again. That's really hard to do.
Quote by StreetLight3989
Yeah, I get that. I actually talked to her today and we flirted a bit and had a good conversation.

The only reason I told her is because we were gonna hook up last night and she was obviously attracted to me. Her ex boyfriend just got in the way of things.

She did say we would hang out soon and that I should ask her again when we do. I understand that I kind of betrayed her trust, but I didn't just do it out of nowhere. So I'm gonna ask her to get coffee or smoke hookah with me in 2 or 3 days and see how that goes.

I did get another girls number at the same party so im keeping my options open. im jusy going to see if this can work out with the my friend before i start something with this other girl.Thanks for the feedback guys.


I don't believe that. If y'all were going to, you would have either before or after coming in contact with the ex.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
No, you're fine. It actually doesnt sound that serious after sitting down and reading it. I read and wrote that post in a hurry on my phone. My post was an over reaction, and I apologize for that. I particularly laughed at this part:


All that spouting, man. All four bulletin points. Not sure why I took it so seriously. I think I am just overly sensitive to violence.


Oh frizzy, I took it as a sign of love anyway, no worries lassy (Yes I did just use lassy, dunno why)

Quote by chev311e
Yea, Freezer pretty much nailed this one.


That's what she said
Quote by jhalterman
1) Was always a sucker for the mix of pleasure and pain that particular style of kissing brought. Granted, that's about as far as I'd go (willingly, anyway).

2) Just me being stupid and lazy. I've been able to walk to work my whole life, I've never had enough to buy a car, and now that I'm in community college the bus system is miles cheaper

3) Yea, that bugged me so I decided to lay off. But many thanks for the visit idea. It's her birthday today, as well, so I just played it cool instead of a weak attempt at humor or something, lol. Thank you for the insight, Freezer Burn


1) Fair enough, to each his own!

2) Still, it's a good idea to at least have one, even if you don't own a car.

3) No problem man, I'm happy to have helped and wish you the best with her!
Quote by StreetLight3989
I know I shouldn't have told her at that moment and I probably shouldn't have said I wasn't going to give up, but I was really drunk. I'm 99% sure that something is there, I mean we were going to hook up without a doubt if her ex-boyfriend didn't show up at the most inopportune moment. I honestly don't regret telling her how I feel. I've felt this way for three years now and I couldn't hold it in any longer. Of course I shouldn't have done it when we were both drunk, but I couldn't help it.

I just texted her this

"Hey, I hope what I said last night doesn't change anything between us. I was really drunk. What I said last night was how I honestly feel and I do like you, but I'm not gonna push it. I want to stay friends and have fun together like we always have."

She hasn't responded yet and I don't really care if she does. If she doesn't I'm gonna probably going to wait a week or so before I talk to her again.


What I've found is that guys don't understand how girls react to this. They have imagined you as being their friend, because that's what you've always shown them. Then all of a sudden, you hit them with this curveball. They now feel betrayed, because while they have seen you as a friend for the duration of the relationship, you have been hiding this from her for 3 years. You've lost some of her trust by doing this, and it puts her in a difficult position.

This is hard for guys to conceptualize, because most guys would be okay with their lady friends doing something like this to them.

Also that will never happen.

Quote by yellowfrizbee
1) Whats with the personal attack and judgement, brah?

2) Great advice /sarcasm

3) He deserves getting his ass kicked and jumped?

4) You have no room to talk or joke about maturity when you are in here spouting on about how violence is a justifiable and rational "consequence" to his actions


Awful advice. All of it. Can't even find one productive or positive piece to take from that post


The entire post was meant to be wrapped with /joke. I see now that it can be portrayed that only the 4th bulletin would be considered the joke (however, it still wasn't the brightest idea to do what he did). I'm a lover not a fighter anyway

Quote by jhalterman
Went to college, flunked out first semester of my sophomore year, and am currently back at home. Also important: I do not have a driver's license (yet...). Anyway, got a chick's number through a buddy early second semester, we texted and called each other a few times (sometimes talking for a good hour or two) and finally got to meet her when I visited again. Being far from a ladies man (aka 'is totally a virgin'), I was nervous, but apparently handled myself well enough. I paid for lunch, conversation was smooth, and it continued to be so through ice cream. Temporarily parted ways as she was off to help a roommate and I was there to hang with friends and party

We eventually met up later at a party she invites me to and, low and behold, she starts getting handsy and we start making out. Upside: best neck kisser ever. Downside: God damn hickies, man... Next day, before I left for my train, I went up to her dorm room and started another round of lip-locking. Probably could have done more, but I had to catch my train (which was an hour late, anyway )

In all seriousness, she's a completely awesome chick who has, thus far, put up with my nerdy ass and is sincere as all hell. Now comes the crap part. With no driver's license and no spare car, anyway, I couldn't visit her (a 30-45 minute drive) this summer. I pinned it on work, but it turns out she was rocking three jobs, anyway.

Now comes a chance to see her again. I'll be going down on the 15th and, if she's there, I would really like to make a surprise visit to her apartment. Figured something like "What's your address because I think my buddy lives right next to you?" would work. Was also going to instruct her to get a graphing calculator and give her the formula for a heart-shape, but I'm not sure if that comes off as cute or a bit much :/

Sorry for the wall of text, but the background helps. Thanks in advance, ladies and gents!

EDIT: I have it set to auto-subscribe when I comment. This is was 69th subscription. It's a sign


Protip: you can neck kiss and avoid hickeys by not sucking or biting (which in my opinion is the worse part anyway).

No license? Why wait any longer?

The calculator thing is a bit much in my opinion, it will probably freak her out to be honest. The surprise visit isn't that good of an idea either, as it is very early in the relationship. Just tell her when you're gonna be in town in order to skip out on any possible embarrassing moments.
Quote by Badfish888
Hey all!

So it looks as if I am about to get my ass beat.

A few nights ago my friends and I got hammered, and got so blacked out we decided to invite random girls from our old high school over via fb message (classy I know). Two girls show up who we barely know. One of which has a boyfriend. In order to be like "good hosts" my buddy and I take shots with them which at our level of drunkenness was a mistake. The girls are a bit drunk and my friend and I are completely plastered. I puked multiple times at various times of the night. One thing leads to another and I end up hooking up with the girl who has a boyfriend. We don't have sex but she does give head.

The next day I get a message from her boyfriend telling me to fight him and that im a pussy etc. I explained to him that I was literally black out drunk ( dont remember most of the night) and that his girlfriend who was much more sober was down. I continue by saying that the problem is his to solve with his cheating girlfriend and not me. He won't have it and keeps challenging me to fight which I've told him a few times isn't gonna happen. Now he messaged me saying something about how "you dont need permission" to fight someone. That makes me think im about to get jumped sometime in the next couple days.

Should I just sayy **** it and fight this kid formally? Or wait it out and see if I get jumped?

I leave for university soon too so this drama will be behind me regardless in about a week.

Anybody have advice? Fight? Wait to get jumped?


1) You're an idiot for doing that.

2) You will probably get jumped, I guess you can just prepare for it.

3) Actions have consequences, you totally deserve this.

4) How's the 8th grade? /joke

Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Holy shit life is good. It's just ridiculous that I could be this happy only a few days after finding what I thought was the love of my life, infact doesn't love me. Ive got multiple dates set up for the next week and nothing but fresh pussy on my mind,.


That's good bro, but if you're focused on sex then this is the wrong thread

Quote by Krieger91
There's one girl, who every time there's like a party or something and she has a drink, keeps on coming up to me, kissing me, then people see, people talk and she denies it and gets angry with me. Then she'll do it again.

And last night she just came up and bit me on the cheek. Hard. Then she asks me what's on my cheek and denies what happens.

An hour late, she kisses me on the neck.


What the hell is up with that?

Why all the crazies?


This sounds like a psychological disorder if she's being serious about all of this. However, she is probably just being stupid, don't let her do that shit to you dude.

Quote by StreetLight3989
So I finally told my best friend of the last 3 years that I like her as more than friends and I honestly don't know what to think. I don't know if it's time to give up or if I should keep trying. Here's what happened, it's a little long, but it has to be, the situation was pretty complicated.

So last night we were at a party and we were both really drunk. She started sitting close to me and staring at me. We sat there for a while and then she went to the other room to talk with her friends. So I texted her after a while and asked if she wanted to go on a walk. Eventually she came out of the other room brushed against my leg and stood by the door.

So we went out the front door, but one of her friends followed us outside. We eventually slipped away her, but then we ran into her ex-boyfriend and her brother standing outside. As we're walking away her ex-boyfriend calls out "what are you doing? are you leaving with him? You're too drunk to drive". So she went up and talked to him for a while and that completely killed the mood.

As I was leaving the party I told her that I was leaving at that we should take a walk and talk. I told her that I liked her and she kind of kind of brushed up close to me and then didn't say anything. Eventually she said "I don't know what to say, I don't really see you that way and I kind of want to be single right now, sorry". Of course that wasn't the response I wanted to hear so I told her that there was something there and that I wasn't giving up. Then I asked her if there was ever a chance that anything could happen. She said "I don't know, I'm too drunk for this right now, we'll hang out again soon". We stared into each others eyes for a while and she walked away. As she was walking away I asked her if I could ask her again the next time we hung out. She said "Yes" and walked away.


So that's where I'm at right now. Sorry for the long story, but I feel like it necessary was to post all of it. I don't really know where else to go from here and it's driving me crazy. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.


As if telling her in the first place wasn't enough of a mistake to make, you go and say this? You must have not read anything on the front page (but I suppose who does nowadays) because you would have avoided this.

This was your next mistake. Why would you try and have this conversation drunk? It's just asking for disaster man.

As for advice, I suppose you can try again, just don't push it. For one it's annoying for her, and it's just embarrassing for you if you try to force something that isn't there (even if you think something is there).
I know I shouldn't even respond, but I lol'd pretty hard at that. Too bad it's all about Starfire, she is way cuter than Raven.
Good on you for realizing what you need to do. I've found meeting new people through mutual interests/hobbies has always worked for me. Join a local club for whatever you're passionate about, play sports with the community, really anything that forces yourself to go out and talk to new people.
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Came in her to say you guys told me so


After being an idiot and trying to work things about, well it lasted like 2 more weeks. I broke up with her last night. She's gonna get her stuff and my sister and niece are gonna move into my apartment with me. It's been a really depressing 24 hours for me, but I am excited about moving forward and bettering myself. Bottom line was I just couldn't trust her anymore. She clearly had fallen out of love with me, which is pretty hard to accept. I love(d) her a shitload but even if she came crawling back i'm done being mistreated.

It's gonna be really hard for me to trust women in the future.. taking a long break from any sort of relationship


Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Ya well, this one was a catch man. For a while I really thought we could be together forever. I'd never been in love like that before and didn't wanna let it go. Really shoulda listened to you guys though.


Don't be too hard on yourself. There have been many before like you who wanted to try it out just in case. Shit happens, don't blame yourself. It's so much easier when you aren't the one in the position, we don't have the emotional connection with her like you do, we are just given the facts.

I've been emotionally cheated on as well, and it sucks, I know. It also gave me my trust issues with women. You will learn to trust women again, it will just take some time.
Quote by Axeaman
Okay okay, I can understand why but I still wanna give it a shot. We haven't got a mutual friend or whatever so how shall I proceed?


Fine, suit yourself. Your best option is to proceed like it's any other girl. Once you start realizing/remembering it's the girl who rejected you, you'll psych yourself out and then you'll crash and burn.

However, don't pretend like you don't know her, else you'll come off as an arrogant prick. Don't bring up the past, and if she does, change the subject.

When in doubt, just go with the flow, unless it means sticking your dick in a crazy... never stick your dick in a crazy.
Quote by Axeaman
'cause she's cute. Nah but the weird thing was that she actually were the one that started flirting. Plus I rather be looking at one girl, instead of turning into the douche which I slowly am because I haven't had that kind of fun in a long while. I go to clubs looking for girls, not because I want to have fun/I hate my job and can't wait to go back to school So, I've stopped thinking like that now

2) Baby language, pweaaaase Fleeezelll


There is nothing wrong going to clubs to look for girls, just don't make it your priority. Seriously, I don't think you should even bother with this girl.

2) No.

Quote by Spitz13
Okay so this happened, its a long story but I find myself really stressed out about it and I thought that there would be no better place to come to then the pit..

*Stuff goes here*

Am I crazy ?


We are not the pit, we are a higher breed than that.

Thank you for this post, Spitz, it was well-written and I don't think I've seen a situation like yours in years.

Anyway, I can definitely see where both parties are getting at here. You like relationships, and she doesn't want to mess up what she has now.

No, you are not crazy. What I think might happen, is it'll get to the point where someone is given an ultimatum (her probably) of whether to choose between being with you or being single-- try to avoid that.

If you want to date this girl, you'll have to convince her yourself. Talk to her about it ever so often. Ask her why she thinks things will be different when you two have the label. Whatever she says, you're going to have to defuse it, spin it into something positive, or just tell her that she is incorrect. You might even want to tell her that you are a relationship kind of guy (as some girls respect that) and that she should really consider it. Whatever you do, JUST DON'T FORCE ANYTHING.

You're in a tough spot, you really are, because this girl sounds like a nice lady, but she is also very stubborn. You've put a lot of effort into this girl I can tell, so you're not going to want to just give up on her so quickly. Give some of the things I said the old college try, and get back to us (although to be honest it is looking kinda grim for you).

Quote by SomeEvilDude
Whereabouts in the States are you located anywho?

And, regrettably I can't actually think of any couple I know who are old and been together/married for a long time (or even still in their first marriage, for that matter) and really happy with each other, so I've got nothing to really base anything on in terms of long-term.

Typing that out actually made me quite sad. I hate everything sometimes. . .


Virginia. Screw the bay life, east coast is where it's at!

And I think I have that advantage only because I'm very close with my family, as we are a tight-knit group, so that may be why I have multiple examples.

P.S. You're not allowed to hate everything because you are SED
Quote by Axeaman
So I can't send her a message and ask if she wants to go for a coffee this time, pweeaaase Fleezeeel


1) Why waste your time with this girl? She already rejected you once (with a bullshit excuse more than likely), why take the (likely) chance that it'll happen again?

2) Wtf is a Fleezeeel
Quote by Axeaman
Yeah, I was in a hurry when I wrote that. We met at a party and just talked and flirted a lot. I asked her out, she said yes and that we had to keep in touch. A couple days after that she said that she had a boyfriend/thing, but "hopefully we still can meet some time". I was pretty speechless and actually started laughing. And now I saw her when I hadn't seen her for weeks, and she sparked my interest again. We didn't talk much, since I was drunk, just a couple of smiles. Now I want advice on how to proceed, especially since I don't know if she got a boyfriend or what ever. There is basically no way for me to find out except for asking her, which I don't think is a good idea.


If she is single and wants you to know that, she will let you know. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother.
Quote by Axeaman
Some of you may remember that over a month ago I met this girl that I clicked with very good. She wanted to go on a coffee but a couple of daya later she said that she had something with another guy. It was so weird that I laughed because she flirted quite a lot. Anyway I saw her this weekend at the club and I just wanted to go out with her. She was sitting with her friend and giggling and saying that I was cute or whatever(Not so i could hear but I heard anyway). How should I proceed?


Moar context, and less confusing stuff. So this girl who blew you off last month said you were cute due to you overhearing her in club this past weekend, and you want advice?

Well if that^ is accurate, she'll just blow you off again in the future more than likely, so proceed with caution.
If I'm ever over in the USA mate, you'll be the first to know. We'll go tear some shit up.

Yes, we we will.

Quote by SomeEvilDude
Admittedly not an expert, as since we've been together, I've probably spent as much time away from her as I have with her, and definitely since we've been married I've spent more time away from her as I have been with her, but!

Even in marriage, there's still no need to put your partner on a pedestal. You should never, ever worship the ground your partner walks on, because they'll stop caring about trying to impress you, stop caring about trying to make you happy and start to lose a significant amount of respect for you. If she knows, that whatever she does, you're gonna be there to pick her up, forgive her and not say or do anything to rock the boat, you've become more like a puppy than a partner.

Marriage does, without a doubt, bring a stronger sense or partnership and seriousness to a relationship, and it's certainly not a commitment that you should take lightly, however, the happiness of the individuals involved and a level of mutual respect and understanding is still paramount. At times, yes, you're going to have to compromise, but at other times, so is she. As long as it's an equal give-and-take thing, it's alright, but one should love, respect and trust the other, not worship.


I'm really only talking about the later stages in marriage, I should have clarified. For example, my Dad thinks my Mom is the best thing on the planet, and they have one of the strongest marriages I've ever seen. There are times where he puts her on the pedestal, because he firmly believes that she deserves it. Other examples include both sets of my grandparents, they absolutely adore their wives, and it shows through their actions.

tl;dr pedestal is acceptable after like the age of 45 ish.

Quote by Aaron!!
Hey everyone, don't really know why I'm posting here but part of me feels that writing it out may help me rationalize it.

*Mini wall of text*

Right person, wrong time I suppose. But I'm really struggling to let go of how amazing the past two years have been, and how unnatural the end feels because there's no hate. Any advice?


I've had a similar experience to yours (except it wasn't even close to as long as yours was, and I mean not even close). Her and I wanted to date, but it was just the wrong time, so I have a tiny glimpse of what you must be feeling right now.

The best advice I can think of is to just get close to some of your good friends. Friends are always there for you, and while they won't be able to get you over a girl, they always do the best dam job of trying, and it helps. Keep busy, whether that means pick up a new hobby, restart a new one, going to the gym; just do something that keeps your mind occupied, because the last thing you need now is time to think about things, because it'll just eat at you all day long.
Quote by SomeEvilDude
In conclusion, all women really want, is: me.



Please SED, be my wingman one night.

Quote by zincabopataurio
Just to add to what Freezerburn said (I don't know the exact context but hopefully I can sort of help):

Basically, don't put anyone on a pedestal. When you do that you become predictable because you are always agreeing to everything they say (even if you don't agree yourself), and always sucking up to them. I don't think anyone likes that in general anyways.


There is a time during marriage where the pedestal is appropriate as long as it doesn't last too long. It's not necessarily about agreeing with them and sucking up, as people like to be agreed with and think of agreeableness as a positive trait.

But what you said about the pedestal is indeed true.

Quote by Highelf04
By unpredictability do you mean un-reliable/similar, or just does surprising stuff (I guess in this context it could range from sending flowers out of the blue/similar stuff)


I just mean doing things that the girl would not think you would do, and/or things that may surprise her (in good or bad ways). You want to keep her on her toes, so she is unable to correctly guess how you will react to certain stimuli or situations.
Quote by Highelf04
Do me a favour and elaborate on this could you freezer?
It'd probably help me personally, and I imagine it'd probably help others who don't frequent here that often.


Sure thing. In my experience, there are two types of girls that guys will date. Both types will say that they want the typical nice guy, but only one type actually means that. I would guess that of all the girls who crave the "nice guy boyfriend", only 20-30% of girls are actually speaking the truth.

As for the other majority, they are picturing prince charming in their head, but it actually conflicts with what they truly want, a guy who is somewhat of a jerk (read: asshole). There is a reason that there is a saying "Nice guys finish last" because it is unfortunately true at times. You could be the nicest guy ever to your girlfriend, and she would still dump you within 6 months. Why? Because you are too predictable. Girls don't like boring lives, and who can blame them? If the guy is boring, she knows and expects the same thing out of him day after day. It's the "assholes" who ultimately attract these kinds of girls because they are more unpredictable. One day they may be pining over the girl, and the next day they might act like a jerk towards her.

This idea is hard for some guys to wrap their head around, because if we try to think like a woman, we would almost all agree that we would want the smart, nice, funny guy that everyone talks about, because that makes sense to us. But what we have trouble seeing, is that in today's society, women are more often the "chooser" when it comes to dating. Women usually have more options open, because that's just how it is. So think of it like this: you are a woman, who has 3 potential suitors. One of them is the nerdy kid you knew back in high school, but now he's doing well for himself, smart, and he is cute. The second one is one of your friends back in the day. He's attractive, smart, funny, and one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. The third played on the football team. He always hung out with the jocks, and he's a bit of a jerk at times.

Which one do you choose? Most girls would the jock or the nerd, every time. The older the woman, the more likely they are to choose the nerd, and vice versa for the younger women. Why? Because older women want a successful guy, and younger women want the spontaneous guy. I think everyone can agree that girls like guys who are wealthy, and that makes sense to us. The older the woman, the more they want to make sure that the guy they will date (and maybe marry) will be able to fiscally take care of them-- as it is evolutionary of humans to think.

I'm getting a bid side-tracked here, but I think you get the point. Girls don't like to be bored (just like the rest of us), so why should they settle on a boring guy when they have 3 other guys that they can have, who are alike in many ways, but are also unpredictable?

Let me know if you want me to elaborate on anything (that goes for anyone).

Disclaimer: I do not agree with any stereotypes that may have been inferred.

P.S. In case you all still want to be the nice guy (which I advocate at times), there are still a good portion of women out there who actually want that, so don't feel the need to change if you don't want to, you'll find the right one.
Now it's over, once you've got past the initial moping, you need to dissect what you had. Were you the 'perfect boyfriend'? Is that really what she wanted/needed? Could that have been an issue: she got bored of your dependability and reliability? Where did you fuck up and how can you improve on that for next time?

I want to add a bit to this. Basically I think SED is trying to say that you were too predictable for this girl. Sure things were great in the relationship, but it was more than likely lacking that spontaneity that most relationships have in their early months. The honeymoon period was definitely over, and even though you say she's not a relationship person, she was still secretly craving more than what a 'perfect' boyfriend could give her.

Quote by Rockford_rocks
I fucked up in the sense that I picked an incredibly damaged girl who hated relationships and then held on to her for 9 months. The true cause of the breakup was she wanted to go into her senior year of college without any commitment to anyone, and be able to meet other guys without losing me as a friend. Which I told her is impossible for a little while (the latter portion).


I was in her shoes this time last year, and she will more than likely regret it just as I did. However, after a few months after I got over her, but there definitely was the regretful period shortly after the breakup.
Quote by Butt Rayge
I'd almost feel better hearing "I've finally decided you're a cunt and I fucking hate you."


Because that wouldn't leave me wondering. I'd have a good cry and then never talk to her again, instead of being sad and lonely for a few weeks whilst wondering if she'll change her mind.


Yeah, it'd give me a reality check and then I'd have to assess myself on whether or not I was actually being an ass or she was just being ridiculous.
Quote by AngusIsMyHero
Welp, just got broken up with. I got the old fashioned, "You're the perfect guy, but I just have to find myself" breakup routine.

It's been a while since I've had to cope with a real breakup like this. I guess it's time to throw on some good ol' country songs and try to move on.


I hate it when girls use that line, it's such a cop-out of what they actually think/feel about the whole thing. Sorry man, hope you're able to move on in no time