I disagree, i think everything is perfectly fine with this song.. its just the way he typed it out that makes it appear less try this..

With ones sense of creativity,
they can accomplish
An infinite number
of the most detailed portraits.
Lets learn from what
the aspired artists can create.
With a pen,
and a blank white canvas
staring them in the face.

Paying very close attention
to detail,
and fixing every minor mistake
If you can imagine,
it’s not the simplest of tasks
But self-loathing won’t create
that piece any quicker.
Focused and committed,
the artists work will be

Even the simplest forms of art,
can accompany tremendous outcomes
With dedication comes great reward,
a rule of thumb to follow
Don’t hold back your inner self,
let the depth of your character show
The aspired artists shows
the true beauty of what art
really means.
i really liked all for you, it was very enjoyable. great vocals! =)

crit mine?
AMAZING chorus
i really like the guitars, too!

crit mine?
I love your voice! (or whoever's singing lol i cant tell) but anyway, AMAZING song, i really enjoyed that

crit mine?
I really like it! you are a very talented musician! i like the tune. cant wait to hear it w/ vocals!

crit mine?
I liked the way the song flowed, it was very sweet-sounding. However, the production quality was a little off and made it kind of hard to hear in some parts. Overall I liked it. =)

crit my song?
one is an opus about those naughty chilluns that done stole'd my bushes.

one is a love poem to the Transformers, complete with machine gun action and a submarine!

one's an ode to Yoda's lovely boyfriend and a certain hard-to-spell city. Enjoy.
*on my profile and band page*