I think the most important thing you could possibly do is listen to each-other. Talk about what you'd like the sound to be and really learn to communicate. That and also know when one of you should lay out and not play anything at all. I would say it's equally important to know when not to play as it is what to play.
Sounds like she's not really interested. Just go on without her man.
I don't want to start a new thread, so I'm going to post my revisions in this one. I feel I've come a long way since this songs starting point.

Any comments are still very much appreciated and I would be more than happy to comment on someone else's piece in exchange

Singing a song
A sweet melody
Its not sung in tune
And its never in key

Singing a song
I want to be heard
Want to be this songwriter who...
writes his own words

Oh Darlin
If you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

Oh Darlin
If you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

I dream of you
Laying next to me
As our bodies become
One entity

Your hand in mine
As we dive
Into the waters
Of my dreams

Oh Darlin
If you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

Oh Darlin
If you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

If you would just
Hold me tight
I’ll keep singing now
And all through the week

Feels as though I’m both
I’m the shepherd and the sheep
Herd my thoughts forever
So I can finally sleep

When everything is so predictable
You need somewhere to hide
Frustration that’s inside
When you’re the one who
puts that smile on my face

Oh Darlin
If you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

Oh Darlin
If you want me to sing

I want you
Get closer to me
I love... this piece. I'm not nearly skilled enough a writer to critique it, so I hope someone who knows what just went through my head can express this in words.
I'm a guitarist trying to pick up the bass as well. I'm a pretty good guitar player, but I've realized that although there are a ton of talented bass players, it's usually easier to find jobs with bass just because the amount of competition is lower. I play mostly indie folk rock music with my band. I'm willing to spend between $400 and $700. I know it's a lot of money for someone just learning, but I'm planning on making my career in music, so I want to invest in something that I won't have to upgrade, and that will last for quite a while. I would say my sound is most like Neil Young, Death Cab for Cutie, and M Ward. So what bass should I get?
Fenhemn: I like a lot of the different parts that I wrote in this. I was just very unsure whether any of it went together at all. I really want it to flow from one part to the next.

Ultrasonic: You seem to know exactly what I was going for with the folk indie rock : ) Makes me really excited that someone could catch on. I'll definitely change that verse around too.

Zero: Thanks so much for the positive comment. I'd love to hear your video, but I'm going to write my own music first, just so I can write original music to it.

Greyeyedfire: I agree that I could work to make the lyrics a bit more original. I'm just starting to write, but I am working on that a lot. Eventually, I'd really like to have more complex and not so cliche lyrics, but right now I'm just trying to put a song together. I would love it if you could tell me a little more about how to do that.

Thanks for the comments!
No, I'm not comfortable.

The piece seems to be about the idiocy of all organized religion nowadays. How anybody who goes to church can do anything they want outside and still be righteous. How somebody who doesn't go to church or of a different religion can live their life in a peace loving, caring way and still get shit for it. There was actually one point in history where the church would let people buy their way into heaven. How stupid is that? I'm not a huge fan of the format, I'd like to hear how it would work in a song. However, the message came across very clear. Excellent message as well.

I'd really appreciate it if you could crit my piece:
If someone could help me sort this out, I'd really appreciate it.

Singing a song
A sweet melody
Its not sung in tune
And its never in key

Singing a song
Just want to be heard
Want to be this creative songwriter
Who writes his own words

Oh darlin,
if you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

But if you would just
Hold me tight
I’ll keep singing now
And all through this week
I’m a shepherd on my farm
I’ll keep herding my sheep

Feels that I’m both
The shepherd and the sheep
Herd my thoughts forever
So I can finally sleep

When everything is so predictable
You’ve got to take a chance
You could take the world as is
I need a second glance
I never know what’s right
Or whatever I should do
I keep amusing myself
You probably should too

Oh darlin,
if you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

I could use a metaphor
Its hot out in the sand
No need for that
I’ll be blunt
cuz I just want to
hold your hand

Oh darlin,
if you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me

Do I want to hold your hand,
or do I just want a hand to hold
I question myself often
I keep saying these same things
and suddenly
I'm sold

Oh darlin,
if you want me to sing
I want to see you
Get closer to me
The first four lines were spectacular. If you're going to write this as a full song, I would definitely recommend using that as a chorus or something that repeats. It's too beautiful not to.

I can't tell what the relationship between you and the person up ahead is. I imagine its a beautiful woman. Perhaps elaborate more on whether she is a lover, tour guide, or maybe a combination of the two. I relate to this because my girlfriend has been my spiritual tour guide on more than one occasion.

I really like the imagery of a man who is walking behind his girlfriend who's hiking a difficult nature trail. She's too focused on the physical task at hand, while he daydreams and thinks to himself about how beautiful the world is. I would have liked more words to convey the beautiful imagery that this piece might imply. Try describing colors and words that excite the senses.

I like the last quote because of the soulfulness of it. The two quotes together form a great rhythm and rhyme scheme.

Did I get it right?
Haha, you caught me . I made up delacor as a mix of decor and the name fleur delacour from harry potter. I wanted a three syllable word to mean that something was very beautiful, but over time became bitter, frozen ,and icy. The word seemed to do the job. Thanks a lot for the comment, really appreciate it.
I totally agree with Zach on almost everything. I really loved the last two lines though. I love any meaningful lyric with that kind of spirituality and imagery. How you set this poem to music will make a huge difference in an overall song. C4C?
I agree, the flow and the word choice seem very rigid and forced. I would pick out some of the lines that you like best and keep them though. I usually find my writing to be way less forced when I'm not trying to write anything. I'll never sit down at first and tell myself to write something. What's helpful to me is to just actively listen to what your thoughts are and what you and other people say. It's surprising how much good material comes up out of the blue without hard work and thinking, then gets overlooked because people aren't paying attention. I've gotten a lot of pretty good lines from simple statements of thought inside my head. C4C?
I really like your writing. Word choice is very powerful, without being too straightforward. I really like your style. Not everything flows together like liquid, but the choppiness makes for a nice rhythm too. C4C?

Winter frost blows by
and the old wolves north they cry
I look up to the moon
Oh yeah

Blow that cold north wind tonight
Chills my nerves right through my sights
Freezes my face

I don't feel you anymore
Through the frozen icy delacor
You've lost my splendor
I don't feel a thing

I don't feel you anymore
Frozen icy delacor
You've lost my splendor
I don't feel

I'm tired of searching
Under these birch trees
After I'm gone
I'm not coming back

I'm tired of searching
Under these birch trees
After I'm gone
never coming back

And after all these months gone by
Still see you, corner of my eye
I realize... I'm still singing this song
For you

Feelings rolling over again
Taking its toll inside my head
I love you
Don't know where to send my feelings to

I'm tired of searching
Under these birch trees
After I'm gone
Oh boy... I can't tell you the number of other writers who feel your pain. The good news... I know so many who were once where you are now who are currently playing their songs in bars, recording albums, and touring the country. It all comes with time and practice.

Two things:

1) Get out of your room! You won't be able to write with substance if your life is not of substance right now. Even simple lyrics can be so much more powerful when they're about something.

2)Play with other people. Write with other musicians. Have someone else play the song you wrote. I remember when I was just starting to write and being impressed with the smallest little lick a friend of mine, who was a lot less experienced at guitar, was playing. I asked him about it, and he told me he was trying to figure out a line he heard me play last week. Everything sounds better when you're not judging your own creation. Very simple lines can sound a lot more full when backed up by a band.
Your chord progression is really cool. The song has a great latin vibe to it... as far as I can tell. I would just say that it's not as much of a "song" as it should be yet. A song would have more of a melody. Your lead lines were great, so I would just say to play with them and come up with a melody that really means something to you. If those licks were improvised, I don't think it should be too hard. If you also added some lyrics, doesn't really matter how good they are... if you place them right it would add a lot. I would suggest playing with your title. "el sol y la luna" is a great lyric, just elaborate on what it means to you. In a foreign language even really simple lyrics can be brought out a lot more beautifully. I also thought that the vocal harmony could end in a half cadence... or if you want to be really creative, a deceptive cadence.
How do my vocals in "After I'm Gone" compare to my other recordings? I think I've gained a lot more control, as well as evolving in other areas. What can I do to make more progress?
I've encountered broken images
Walked into twisted dreams
Twisted everything
Reality's bursting from the seams

I've never felt so useless
While not being afraid
What you'd think of me
If today was our last day

But days turn to hours
and hours turn to days
I've felt time nonexistent
Eternity is this day

Now... I don't look
I can only feel
these altered images
I can't make out what's real

And as reality blows by me
Can't get a sense of space and time
I come back down, I felt amazing
My own body is mine
Shouldn't there be a guide on this somewhere by now... I'll commission the making of one with a
What is everyone's definition of cheating?

I get mad when my girlfriend hits on other guys, but then again, I'm being a hypocrite because I hit on girls when she's not around. I would break up with her if anything went passed a single kiss. I'd probably tell her it's over, get really drunk, and go get laid. I'd be devastated on the inside though... I really love her.
I know a ton of people who are both amazing at woodwind/brass instruments and singing. Practicing one will only help your breath support on the other as well as developing your ear.
Quote by So-Cal
I used to think some black people in films looked the same, then I realised it was the same actor.

Will Smith?
I'm familiar with your exact situation, but I'm a classical singer mostly, so it's a bit easier for me. The reality is that you can't do what all of those guys in the screaming loud rock bands do. A low voice is going to have an extremely rough time competing with exploding loud guitars. You never want to push your voice either and sacrifice good tone quality for a higher register. What you're going to want to do is find a unique instrumentation that suits your unique voice. Singing with an acoustic ensemble, or some sort of ensemble that lets your voice be the most powerful instrument is very important for a rock singer with a lower register. Being able to sing well is a gift that no matter what voice part you have, you should use to the best of your ability. Also, Jim Morrison of The Doors sang in a lower register, and made a very successful rock career out of it.
I don't know if Daniel Gildenlow has good technique... maybe extraordinary technique! Yeah, that performance blew my mind, and I don't even really listen to that style of music.
I know this is a late response to a thread I posted months ago, but I actually do know paul's grandfather now. I actually thought you meant the grandfather of a kid named paul, and I got really confused. I saw them play at the hairy lemon a few nights ago, and paul (who the band is not named after) is an awesome cello player in the music program here with me.
Not my kind of music, but man... does he resonate on those long notes. I would definitely suggest taking lessons. Trying to emulate that sound on your own is not going to do much good at all, and will probably end up badly damaging your voice. I don't think many voice teachers will start you off with that kind of sound, but if you took lessons, there's a much better chance that you'll learn to hit notes like that. He also sings a dangerous style of music very well, pretty good technique for a metal singer. Watch the easiness and relaxed nature in his body compared to the keyboard singer. One of them is going to keep their voice for a lot longer.
I really like your voice. A classic young girl with acoustic guitar sound. You have pretty good pitch and you phrase lines very well. I think that it's much easier for girls to sing well naturally than guys, so you'll have to work extra hard to create your own sound and make your voice stand out. I think if you continued to work on your voice, working on getting better breath support, as well as more tonal resonance, you could do very well as a singer.
Just thought I'd share this on the vocal forum. What do you guys think? It's the first time that I've sung a duet with my friend Jamie. She's a way better singer than I am. : P
I would suggest going over some simple small range exercises. Going from Do to Sol on "e" as in tea or "o" as in over. Raising and lowering these exercises by a half step until they start to feel strained in either direction. When learning to sing on your own, everything you practice should be relaxed and easy, never strained or forced. I would also recommend working on breath support. In my experience, even for the worst singers out there, if you write a song from your heart for a girl you really like, she'll love you singing it poorly way more than even the best singer in the world singing for her.
Thanks for the comment man, I was actually just trying to get a little bit more rasp in my voice, as I usually sing with a very "clean" tone and was trying to do something different to sound more aggressive. I'll post something soon with my voice sounding a bit more natural.
I think you have a good tone, but you're really making it muddy and nasally by trying a little too hard to get the sound you want to hear, instead of just singing with your natural voice. I would suggest working on breath support to hit notes on pitch better. Also, try to produce your sound inside your mouth a little bit more than your nose. Everything is sounding a little nasally and strained. Just try to relax a little bit more while singing, and I think with practice you'll get an alright sound.
Hey guys,

I just did this cover of the Goo Goo Doll's Iris. Please take a listen to it on my profile! I'd like an honest opinion about my voice and what I need to work on.

Any advice or pointers would be greatly appreciated.

My heart stands still
I love your charm
Wait as long as it takes
Until you're in my arms

Have I told you that you're beautiful?
Since the night we shared that kiss
I can't hold on forever,
I miss those gentle lips

You say you're not ready
how long, you don't know
but I want you in the present
I'm ready to go

I'm ready for this,
and I'm ready for you
It feels right to be together
Feel it's now or never

So come on share this dance with me
I know it's what you want
Our love will forever be
You're in all my thoughts
Regarding your chances, I would say they're pretty low, but certainly not impossible. However, I would strongly recommend that you apply to some schools not known for music. Find schools that appeal to you for other reasons than just the music program, and get in tight with the music teachers there. Almost all music teachers from any respectable college, whether music or not, are good teachers. Practice your ass off for the next year or two, then when you and your instructor feel you've reached a good level of musicianship, reapply as a sophomore or junior to a better music school. You will have learned a lot in the process and you can still say that you GRADUATED from the music school of your choice. Best of luck man, and if you need any other questions answered, just ask me and I'll try to give you the best answer I can.
Honestly, I will tell you that your chances depend mostly on work ethic. If you have the drive to learn what you need to by your audition date, I have a feeling that you can do this. It might take some natural talent on your part, as well as some private lessons, especially since you're leaving yourself less than a year to do this. A casual musician throughout high school usually has a better chance of making it into a good music program if they start really working hard at it during their junior year. Taking music theory, practicing aural skills, and learning proper instrumental technique are three of the more important things that colleges look for. I would also tell you to apply to a variety of schools including Berklee. Plus you don't want to contribute to the stereotype of collegiate musicians that Berklee is for not as talented musicians who just have a lot of money and can't stake it out at other music schools. If you're really serious about going into music, you'll apply to more than one school. It can't be the school that influences you, but what you'll learn and get out of it. You never know, different music schools can be a lot different from each other, and one school might suit you a lot better than you would ever know.
I think you should learn to use the search barre.
My senior prom is coming up in a month and I almost have everything taken care of. I already have the limo, tuxedo, tickets, and a hot date. The only problem is that my date is so much taller than I am. I'm not extremely short, being 5'8, but she's six foot and kind of makes me feel small. Most of the time it's not a problem, especially when we're sitting or lying down next to each other. It's also not that big of a deal when we're just talking to each other. The problem arises when we do anything as a couple... I just feel like I can't be as manly as I'd like to be. If anyone has any advise for what I could do the night of prom to make this not so much of an issue, it would be greatly appreciated!
Yes, most (and I did say most) legitimate rap producers have taken sound recording and technology courses at a legitimate music school. These schools would have required them to take at least one course of pretty in depth music theory. I know this might make some of you mad, but my guess is that most producers of mainstream music of any genre know more music theory than your average player in genres of music that emphasize musical skill. However, a rap music producer probably doesn't know anywhere close to the amount of theory it takes to produce some more musically challenging genres of music.
Thanks for the help, and somewhat encouragement. I realize that I'll be very lucky if I can make it so that nothing bad comes of this. Like I said, I know I was wrong to slack off so much, but on the bright side, at least I learned my lesson before I started college. I still have time fourth quarter to pick up my grades, and work on my work ethic before it really matters.