Haven't posted anything in a really long time.. this is just an OTS from two hours ago

Sadie with the long hair
she haunts my dreams
I've told her so many times
that life is not what it seems
but she reads and she reads
she reads and she reads
someday that girl
will outsmart me

She says what we need
is a tragedy
to show us what our love
really means
so she watches me with those
Holy blue eyes
and for all my talking and drinking
she knows I'm terrified

So we wait for the night to grow still
listen to the moon tell us this is God's will
I wait for the change in her breathing
and tell myself there is nowhere else I'd rather be

If only a man could have his way
I'd take Sadie and drive for days
we wouldn't listen to what the moon has to say
Because with Sadie and her books
She'd show us the way

Sadie with the long hair
She used to haunt my dreams
Until I did something right
and watched her grow old with me
Oh that girl always looking for her tragedy
I bet she never thought she'd find it
Buried deep inside me

My hands were sweaty and my stomach practiced summersaults
I wished for my body to fall into a black hole of space and time;
until this was all just a memory. I longed to be flooded with relief
I don't remember how we said hello, or if she asked how I was
Her lips were ruby red.
She once told me Sunday's were for band t-shirts and your boyfriend's sweats
I used to provide the latter
Now I don't focus on who does
She spoke a lot, I smoked a lot
She hasn't grown up much between our years of separation
Did I expect her to? Do I really mind that she hasn't?
She's still the same, she'll always be mine
In a parallel universe I'm waking up next to her
Butterflies bursting from my stomach as she pulls a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt over her head.
As I said goodbye all I was thinking was 'who the f*ck listens to Jethro Tull anymore?'
I no longer get drunk under the sun
in public parks where children play,
talk to girls who get on their knees for fun
and fight boys who are more broken than me,
I grew up in a city
with too many faces
for any one person to stand out
you grew among fields
and still to this day
I'm tortured searching for your face in the crowd
Haven't written a song in a long time, but anything to not do thesis work...

you know the lines so well
we're off page so now you can tell
exactly where the story is going to go
but you don't think I deserve to know

I see you twice a month
Bel Air calls but you don't go
so I think of how tired you look
as the silver screen starts to rust

you whisper
sing me a song
but when I improvise you say
'you've got it all wrong'

I hope some day that they eat you up
I've got a sick sad urge to say I told you so
lying on my hotel room floor
as if you've never been there before

and you ask me
to write you a song
but when I refuse you say
'you were never any fun'

I finally have your song
but wherever you are now
I bet you're not singing along
hey hey guys
so i caught my finger in a fire door about 3 weeks ago and it was a deep enough cut at the top of my finger just where the smallest knuckle is basically, the sorest part was the knuckle it felt bruised even though it didn't look like it was, when it was healing there was some kind of tingly feeling throughout my finger when i touched it too, anyhoo 3 weeks later the cut is healed up and there's no bruise but anytime i hold down a bar chord a shooting pain runs through my whole finger it's really painful, does anyone know if there could be nerve or ligament damage? or does it just need more time to heal? i could go to the doctor but it costs 50 euro so any advice is mucho appreciated as always
i visited my parents house yesterday
it had changed so much since i had lived there last
no more room for feelings of nostalgia
it didn't remind me of christmas mornings
or bring to life the photographs of birthday cakes and smiles

at dinner monotonous conversation led me away upstairs
expecting nothing i decided to visit my old room
walking up the narrow stairs i felt your presence with me

two summers ago we lived here, never leaving
we were burnt from the inside out with love and cigarettes
burnt from the outside in by the sun
cascading through the ceiling window
i saw the sun rays fall on your eye lashes;
thought to myself this is why it rises every morning
just to touch something beautiful
i thought of how we never left each other
built my life around you
a life that didn't seem to exist outside my bedroom walls

it made me feel uncomfortable
after a week of forgetting i was remembering again
the cliche of wondering what you were doing
turning to leave i saw it
my ugly younger self's handwriting
where i had written your name on the wall above my bed
memories came back like flashing images in my minds eye
writing your name on the wall one night
you were smiling and laughing
asking if my dad would mind, i said i didn't care
since then my bedroom does not look like my bedroom, our bedroom

your name is still visible over the thick layer of gone-off white paint
as i leave i hope to myself that your name will not be visible
through the layer of hate, regret and disappointment
i've used to paint over your memories inside the walls of my mind
it's october
it's early in the morning, too early to be awake
she tells me it's the afternoon and gives me a disappointed look
she sits beside me as i lie behind her
my sunken red eyes look past
i'm thinking about how sweet her voice sounds when she sings
but she interrupts me
'who hurt you? who hurt you so badly?'
she can hit them high notes, i love her falsetto, her chest voice,
her soft hands, her cups of tea -
she cuts my train of thought as she stands over me
the tsunami hits as she speaks:
'i won't ever leave you'
ironically she gets up and she leaves the room
and me, not moving, lying there
i think of her.

her voice was beautiful when she spoke
she couldn't sing but i loved it when she did
her cups of tea were my favourite
she had these personal looks; they were only for me
she hated wearing her hair up but i loved it so
when i was sad she would pin it up for me
she'd sleep in so late every morning i wouldn't care
i would watch for hours as her eyes moved in her sleep
she gave the most perfect forehead kisses
and she smiled a smile that could ****ing cure cancer
when you laid them on her own forehead, her nose, her cheek
she loved me
s h e l o v e d m e
but she left me and she hurt me
i want to write you poems until my hand falls off
i often wonder if you read them would you come back?
would each sentence, word, letter that your eyes glaze over
light up - would you remember how it felt?

i told you so many times that nobody can ever love you as much as i do
and if you ever find someone who claims they do
bring them to me
lay them down before me
knowing that they will never get back up

there is a sunset in four hours
yours is the only hand i will ever hold
walking in it's direction
so call me, text me, bump into me
scream at me, grab me, slap me, burn me
just come back to me
the last thing you ever said to me was
'i don't
want to
talk to you
you're making me anxious'
well darling you make me anxious.
every fu**ing hour the day forces me to live through
at 3am i want to rip my skin from my chest
stretch it, tear it, snap my ribs in half and find my heart to hold it
feel it beat without you
what an idiotic muscle -
beating without you.
i want to squeeze
burst the god damn thing
and poke poke poke my eyelids
i want bleed out for you/over you
to stop the pathetic half-assed tears from falling
over every acoustic guitar
accompanying every male voice
on every playlist you made for me

fuc* you and your great music taste
hangovers last so much longer
the flu goes on for weeks 
high blood pressure causes migranes
the night drags on like primary school
the day stings my eyes
i have washed my pillow eleven times
yet your scent still likes to stay 
smoking hurts my throat
no one argues with me to quit
music sounds off key
books are no good
poems make my head throb
other people's conversations bore me
i'm always alone 

i am finally understanding
that you are never
coming back to me
i like to think you think about me
every night when you have no one to whisper down the phone to
when you're scared with decisions to make and no one to guide you
i like to think of you convincing yourself to speak to me
then calmly talking yourself out of it
that you're still like me suffocating on wasted love
i'm terrified to think
you think of me as dead
you've removed all signs of me
bedsheets, my clothes, old birthday cards
i see them burning out your back garden
each one of my neatly written 'i love you's' as ash blowing in the wind
i wish you'd stop to look around
remember when we almost lost each other
you told me you seen two daisies growing in the grass
a pair on their own with only each other
you said they were like us
me and you
where are those stupid flowers now?
i can't remember your voice
but i'll try block it out anyway
sometimes she reminds me of you
in arguments, and for arguments sake
i will pretend that all girls are bitterly
sarcastic when they don't get their way
telling me to f*** off with that beautiful
smile on her face
you see i've fallen back into the same hole again

it's a bitter cycle that i thought i could not escape
then she came along and took me in her arms
showed me what it is like to really love
and be loved in return
so all her silly mistakes fell so perfectly onto mine
now i carry them around with me for nights
when i can not sleep or
when i feel like torturing myself
by searching through history
for what i had
and what i lost

will it always be like this?

the italic verse is about someone after I had just met them it was written to a past lover, the second verse is about the girl whom I had only met in the italic verse but by then I had realised she was the love of my life. very complicated...
when im lying in bed trying to sleep
i imagine you lying opposite me
as the pixels fall into place
my heartbeat becomes more defined
i focus on how on beautiful you are
or should i say were?
you probably think i have no right
to comment on how you look
or know what you're thinking anymore

i whipser into the stillness of the night
but i'm always asleep before you can reply
i like the way your eyes
have seen too many
late nights

i like the way
your lips can never
feel a kiss

i like the way
you don't give a f**k
who i am or where i've been

you would swallow
an ocean if it meant
it would save me
you were so quiet
and then you were so loud
you tore through my life
like a plane through a cloud

you splashed your paint on me
like i was your own colouring book
you decided what you liked and hated
then you tore the pages up

i told you 'sometimes mistakes make perfect art'
but you didn't believe me then
you just smiled - oh god, that ****ing smile
let me give my life to see it again
cheers buddy! i'll investigate them links
Hey guys,

I got this classical guitar recently and I love it to bits, I just wanted something small and handy, and it works like a charm. I don't use classical guitars for playing classical guitar I just like the feel of them and the nylon strings for playing acoustic folky stuff and what not. So I was wondering have any of you ever made a classical guitar into a semi-acoustic? micing it up inside and adding a guitar lead jac etc... do you guys think it would work on my small fender one? and roughly how much does it cost?
you attached yourself to me
the way melting plastic clings to skin
and i was stupid enough to return the favour
**** i loved you

and then you're gone

swallowed up into a void
did you meet the other girls who broke my heart there?

darling they have nothing on you
so I need a nylon string guitar and I'm a poor student so I was looking at this one. I play nylon guitars mostly for jazz because I just think the sound is sweet. This Fender is on thomann for 79 euro but it's a 3/4 size.. I'm 21 and I usually like my guitars to be a nice small neat size do you think this will be too small? I heard the neck is as small as a Strat which I own aswell so I'm thinking I'd like this guitar just size wise I've never had a 3/4 classical before
i was good at things;
like going to school and making my parents proud
you were good at things;
like kissing my neck in a drunken daze
and holding my hand behind everyones back
i think i loved you and that is why i began to hate you
i was never good at hurting people
until i was hurt by you
i'm on my stomach, that's better
the video light flashes red -
like a plane in a dark night sky
don't lean your hands on my back
fu** that hurts
and i'm not here i'm up in that sky
i'm eating birthday cake
i'm playing in the leaves outside
i'm back, i hope when i'm older
that i never grunt like that
i'm cold
i'm numb
'happy twelfth birthday kiddo'
kid, oh
i am happy lying here in the dark
i don't want to exist in a world
where you don't
and i have tried
and i have tried
but i hear you coming home
oh my sweet when will you
get tired of me
i fear you won't

i am happy lying here on my own
i won't exist in a world
where you don't
and i am tired
i am tired
vulnerable and far too shy
when will you stop wasting
time on me
i fear you won't

the wolves are coming
the wolves are coming (to eat us up)
the wolves are coming
to eat me up
you're slightly full of shit
and i'm over sharing everything with someone
with your perfect hair
and lovely underwear
still nothing will ever last forever
please can i just stay here forever?
and you can always tell me whether
you're okay
and tell me about your day
don't mention other boys names
and we can keep this our safe place
even if it's not the same.
memorising the creases in your face when you smile
the music is too loud in here
'i love you oh god i love you'
and i'm screaming it
and you're walking away
and words don't mean the same
as they used to
letters splashed out when actions
have forced you
to leave it all behind and i will let you go when i know
that what i give you is not enough
and it's my tough luck
but i love you oh god i love you
because i am not at the party
you can try and sleep beside her
on the sofa as much as you like
you can play her piano and tell her to sit next to you
and let her play three notes

but you won't ever find out the things you want to know

when you kiss the inside of her thigh her body trembles
i can smell her on my fingers in the morning
she wraps her legs around mine and i bury myself
in her body
and my fingers follow curves on her stomach and back
and i would like to suffocate
in her hair
that is darker than the dark behind my eyes

but i wake up holding onto a pillow

today i'm going to buy her shampoo so it might feel like she's really here.

does anyone know what vocal effects are on this song?I googled it but nothing came up, also the effects on the guitar it sounds just like distortion but then theres some other crazy thing in there, any tech heads want to tell me all the effects used in this song i would appreciate it

i took you to see an orchestra
but the viola was out of tune
and you were so sad, you're so sad
and i don't know what to do
i should of ran up there and screamed at her
she should of listened to the first A!
and i'd take that bow and break it in half
and i'd scream until i had nothing more
until they played something so beautiful
it put a smile on your face
and while i died of exhaustion
to conductor told me 'it's not your fault'
i will wipe that smile off your face
if that's what it takes*
for you to take me seriously
baby i'm frustrated
i'm tearing up beer matts
while complicated
thoughts are ramed back down my throat
and curve around my heart and sleep
just sleep
until it won't pump but it jumps
and i tell you that i love you
when i'm not sure if i love you
1. you will be the girl i spoke to
once on a train, about the weather
and i'll laugh how you used a newspaper
to protect your hair from the rain
as perfect as it was, i rolled my eyes
to heaven, and you smiled and i wondered
where my new found confidence had come from
thank you corona extra!

2. you will be the girl i make coffee
for in the morning, and we will visit
your parents every second sunday
and grow up together and watch
saturday night live and
somewhere in the middle one
will hurt the other and we will fail
but we will try over and over

3. you will be the girl - you won't be anything to me
just something to hold on to
making brief appearances in my mind
when i am drunk and won't
go home alone, but i won't make
you coffee in the morning

4. you will be the girl i love
every waking second, the one
that i hurt the most until someone
came to their senses, you will be the
heart shaped bruise that i wake up to every morning
you will be the reason why i only have four numbers.
Quote by xSacrilegex
This is a joke right?

If so, troll accepted.

je ne comprends pas
i like the gap between your legs
where the light shines through
right up until it reaches your body,
(i hate phone calls that are awkward
and the smell of hospitals and
how artists become infamous
once they have taken one too many)
when i see a picture of a mountain
drenched in snow, or fold creases on a map
when a teacher feels like a friend or
when a three thousand word essay comes to an end
when the silence is enjoyable, (the calm before
the storm) when you say something you thought
was meaningful (and get nothing in return)
when you can see the sun shining on ice patches
so you don't mind being awake early
(knowing mistakes before you make them)
hangovers (physical and mental)
maybe we are given everything
just so we can lose it
after all, we were built to break, and disintegrate.
a hand me down heart
handed down to me
i'll wrap it up and pass it on
without a return address,
you looked behind you when the door rang the bell
were you hoping it was me walking in?
with his hand on your leg
your head turned around
your mouth beside his ear
'stop it'
he moves up your thigh
and up further
and further
now if i was there
if i was looking after you like i promised myself i would
he would hear you say stop
i would break his nose for you
and i would tear him apart
some people never noticed your hand me down heart
only your red bitten lips and those rumors
i'm no better i saw you in the same way
and i will hate myself for it if you want me to
i will vacation on a guilt trip for as long as you need me to

no matter what, i'll pretend i knew you
but right now i'll stop writing
because wherever you are
you're laughing
i want to pull all of the lies i've told you
back out of your skull and bury them
between the pages of my homework journal
where i collect every inch of you to read
and re read
so i can love
and re love
over and over again,
i don't think i have ever seen
light accentuate on such perfect skin
but i'm so sad and sick of everyone
meghan, you have to take me away soon
the batteries in my s.a.d light have run out
the batteries in my body have run dry.
remember we went to portmarnock
and i took that picture on the beach
and you looked so beautiful
even if it was ruined by a light leak
later i watched your finger trace roads
on a wrinkled wet map
now you're fuucking someone who
doesn't even like your favorite band
the coldest night in july, a thursday
with work in the morning and a flight to catch
we stayed up until 3am as late as we could
and i drove you away and we said our goodbyes
watched closely for any signs of tears in your eyes
you called me later to tell me that paris was the same
you called me lovely, you said i was great
there's not a lot to be said about a perfect goodbye
so i just told you i loved you and you just smiled
the leaves will fall and break in paris when autumn arrives
and you'll be back home where you belong by my side
and you'll continue to make me feel uneasy with the questions you ask
and i'll think of those ten days and how i could of changed the past
it's funny how i let everything upset me but you
i keep you so safe if only you knew
soft skin, she's always cold
died her hair red now it's a dark purple glow
she likes harry potter but only since the hype
says we will move to alaska but i know we won't
she can never tell when i'm joking and i think i know
when she's very quiet exactly what is wrong
and she always says 'i wish you were here'
and i tell her what i think she wants to hear
maybe she is just something to do when i'm bored
if so i feel sorry for anyone i ever do truly love.
but i miss you and i'm sorry i haven't seen you in a while.
you who knows all my secrets, you who sees everything
and you would think that i would have a lot to say
but i don't think words matter between us anymore
like the sun and snow in winter:

you melt me until i'm mush.