Dave Mustaine Listens to Metallica Albums in Full for the First Time, Posts Reviews

Megadeth frontman compares Kirk Hammett to "a mentally retarded boy" he once met.

Ultimate Guitar

UPDATE: Happy Fool's Day!

Despite being one of Metallica's original members, Megadeth mainman Dave Mustaine wasn't featured on any of the band's full-length studio efforts (except the debut one) and interestingly enough, never got to hear them in full.

So since Megadeth still has about two weeks until the kick-off of their upcoming world tour, Dave had some extra time to kill, using it to check out what all the Metallica fuss is about. He even noted down his impressions, which soon leaked online for fans to see. Check out some of Dave's thoughts below.

Kill 'Em All

It's not because my stuff is here, but this is honestly the best Metallica album ever. Highlights are clearly "The Four Horsemen" riff, "Jump in the Fire," "Phantom Lord" and "Metal Militia." And they kicked me out for what? Having a few drinks and being a bit aggressive? Am I not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America!

Ride the Lightning

Still recycling the old Dave stuff, right guys? But that's OK, I really came to peace with the fact that I got kicked out. They might have become the single biggest band in the history of metal, but "Super Collider" debuted at No. 6 on the Billboard chart, so take that!

Master of Puppets

OK, not even I can say anything bad about this album, it's a masterpiece start-to-finish. But you know what? This record wasn't made by Metallica. It was made in Kenya by a group of druids after a two-month ritual, they sacrificed baby goats there! And there's proof all over the place, I mean c'mon, how could you miss that black t-shirt with two red triangles James was hearing in the studio. It's like, hello?!

...And Justice for All

Yeah, except for Jason, amirite?

Black Album

The only thing good on this one is "Unforgiven," I could barely go through the rest of the stuff. And what's up with all the wah pedal? But you know, I shouldn't really bash Kirk that much, I said a lot of mean things about him and I feel bad because he's really using the amount of talent God gave him in the best way he can. He reminded me of this sweet, mentally retarded boy I met once - he had an IQ that barely allowed him to function, yet he learned to communicate and even use some of the words. Considering what God gave him, that's amazing! So keep it up Kirk, you're doing a neat job buddy!


So they got haircuts and started playing this gay pop music now. And don't go all "Dave's a homophobic a-shole" now because I really don't have anything against gay marriages, or gay music. But you know, I'm a heterosexual Christian male, so the answer would have to be no for this one.

St. Anger

What the hell is wrong with your snare drum, Lars? Maybe you should, you know, put a plug in it? And this whole album has like, zero solos, it's like listening to nu metal and we all know I'd rather have my eyelids pulled out than listening to that crap.


And people are giving me crap for "Risk," seriously?! But you know what, with Obama being the US President, it's no wonder that music like this is getting released. I mean if Twinkies got out of business, anything can happen.

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    Its not...Dave enough....if that makes sense.
    The title gave the joke away, it's not the first time a Metallica/Dave joke was made on april 1st.
    UG has THE best 4/1 articles. It's my favorite UG day.
    beverley.arifvo · Apr 01, 2014 05:13 PM
    "I mean c'mon, how could you miss that black t-shirt with two red triangles James was hearing in the studio." when I seen that typo I knew it was written by UG aka the king of typos
    When I seen ? I believe the word you were looking for was "saw". You bash typos, yet cannot use proper grammar?
    I love how it uses quotes from Mustaine's previous interviews. The Load/ReLoad bit was my favourite xD Bravo, UG.
    Yep, just realised what day it is - nice one UG - tail between my legs time!
    This is actually one of the best things UG has posted, April Fools or not. Like you can basically tell it's a joke, but using subtle Mustaine article references was so good.
    Should've realized it from thitle already... How on earth would anyone get Dave to listen to Metallica...
    That South Park reference was amazing. Nice one, Dave. EDIT: oh shit, April fools prank I suppose
    GOD DAMN IT I FELL FOR IT ...still sound like Dave though, the sore bitter , all claiming hypocrite
    Seems like Dave didn't get enough money to buy "Death Magnetic" in ITunes and listen to it.
    Fuck this had me going til about the Master Of Puppets part. Nice work UG... but you forgot Garage Inc. Which includes some really early cover songs Mustaine would of played during his time with Metallica.
    Aw man. I was actually interested to hear what Dave really thinks of Metallica's albums. April Fools got me again.
    What the hell is wrong with your snare drum, Lars? Maybe you should, you know, put a plug in it?
    OK UG, I'll give you that one. The Kill 'em All review was pretty funny. It went downhill after that though.
    Agreed. It only hit me that this was an April Fool's Joke when I got to Ride the Lightning and it was way off the mark. Such potential, though.
    Its 1st of April. But for dave doing he did not say anything crazy xD. they almost got me with this one
    I was nearly convinced, I think it was the re-usage of old quotes that gave it away. Well done, UG!
    I love April Fools day at UG. I literally came here toay and scanned the news to find this gem.
    lol read the whole thing and was thinking about "yet another Dave trolling article on UG", then I realized the day it was...