Dave Mustaine Listens to Metallica Albums in Full for the First Time, Posts Reviews

Megadeth frontman compares Kirk Hammett to "a mentally retarded boy" he once met.

Dave Mustaine Listens to Metallica Albums in Full for the First Time, Posts Reviews
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UPDATE: Happy Fool's Day!

Despite being one of Metallica's original members, Megadeth mainman Dave Mustaine wasn't featured on any of the band's full-length studio efforts (except the debut one) and interestingly enough, never got to hear them in full.

So since Megadeth still has about two weeks until the kick-off of their upcoming world tour, Dave had some extra time to kill, using it to check out what all the Metallica fuss is about. He even noted down his impressions, which soon leaked online for fans to see. Check out some of Dave's thoughts below.

Kill 'Em All


It's not because my stuff is here, but this is honestly the best Metallica album ever. Highlights are clearly "The Four Horsemen" riff, "Jump in the Fire," "Phantom Lord" and "Metal Militia." And they kicked me out for what? Having a few drinks and being a bit aggressive? Am I not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America!

Ride the Lightning


Still recycling the old Dave stuff, right guys? But that's OK, I really came to peace with the fact that I got kicked out. They might have become the single biggest band in the history of metal, but "Super Collider" debuted at No. 6 on the Billboard chart, so take that!

Master of Puppets


OK, not even I can say anything bad about this album, it's a masterpiece start-to-finish. But you know what? This record wasn't made by Metallica. It was made in Kenya by a group of druids after a two-month ritual, they sacrificed baby goats there! And there's proof all over the place, I mean c'mon, how could you miss that black t-shirt with two red triangles James was hearing in the studio. It's like, hello?!

...And Justice for All


Yeah, except for Jason, amirite?

Black Album


The only thing good on this one is "Unforgiven," I could barely go through the rest of the stuff. And what's up with all the wah pedal? But you know, I shouldn't really bash Kirk that much, I said a lot of mean things about him and I feel bad because he's really using the amount of talent God gave him in the best way he can. He reminded me of this sweet, mentally retarded boy I met once - he had an IQ that barely allowed him to function, yet he learned to communicate and even use some of the words. Considering what God gave him, that's amazing! So keep it up Kirk, you're doing a neat job buddy!

Load/Reload



So they got haircuts and started playing this gay pop music now. And don't go all "Dave's a homophobic a-shole" now because I really don't have anything against gay marriages, or gay music. But you know, I'm a heterosexual Christian male, so the answer would have to be no for this one.

St. Anger


What the hell is wrong with your snare drum, Lars? Maybe you should, you know, put a plug in it? And this whole album has like, zero solos, it's like listening to nu metal and we all know I'd rather have my eyelids pulled out than listening to that crap.

Lulu


And people are giving me crap for "Risk," seriously?! But you know what, with Obama being the US President, it's no wonder that music like this is getting released. I mean if Twinkies got out of business, anything can happen.

89 comments sorted by best / new / date

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    Vinura
    Its not...Dave enough....if that makes sense.
    JAHellraiser
    "I mean c'mon, how could you miss that black t-shirt with two red triangles James was hearing in the studio." when I seen that typo I knew it was written by UG aka the king of typos
    AonghusWilliamM
    When I seen ? I believe the word you were looking for was "saw". You bash typos, yet cannot use proper grammar?
    Dannym95
    I love how it uses quotes from Mustaine's previous interviews. The Load/ReLoad bit was my favourite xD Bravo, UG.
    roguesanchez1
    Yep, just realised what day it is - nice one UG - tail between my legs time!
    Maiden95
    This is actually one of the best things UG has posted, April Fools or not. Like you can basically tell it's a joke, but using subtle Mustaine article references was so good.
    henrihell
    Should've realized it from thitle already... How on earth would anyone get Dave to listen to Metallica...
    iommi600
    That South Park reference was amazing. Nice one, Dave. EDIT: oh shit, April fools prank I suppose
    HarrySound
    GOD DAMN IT I FELL FOR IT ...still sound like Dave though, the sore bitter , all claiming hypocrite
    cm-thrashing-45
    Aw man. I was actually interested to hear what Dave really thinks of Metallica's albums. April Fools got me again.
    ikhno
    Seems like Dave didn't get enough money to buy "Death Magnetic" in ITunes and listen to it.
    paulyg
    Fuck this had me going til about the Master Of Puppets part. Nice work UG... but you forgot Garage Inc. Which includes some really early cover songs Mustaine would of played during his time with Metallica.
    ChucklesMginty
    What the hell is wrong with your snare drum, Lars? Maybe you should, you know, put a plug in it?
    Hahaha.
    iommi600
    OK UG, I'll give you that one. The Kill 'em All review was pretty funny. It went downhill after that though.
    EnslaveTheWorld
    Agreed. It only hit me that this was an April Fool's Joke when I got to Ride the Lightning and it was way off the mark. Such potential, though.
    bustapr
    lol read the whole thing and was thinking about "yet another Dave trolling article on UG", then I realized the day it was...
    Izzy-Sweet
    I was nearly convinced, I think it was the re-usage of old quotes that gave it away. Well done, UG!
    Ryan_Good1
    I love April Fools day at UG. I literally came here toay and scanned the news to find this gem.
    pim.voormeulen
    Its 1st of April. But for dave doing he did not say anything crazy xD. they almost got me with this one
    lemmyisgod97
    I know this is an April Fools but Load/Reload are "gay pop music" , bullshit, cut out a few songs and they would be amazing.
    paulyg
    I wish it was only one album, the 12 best songs. People would appreciate it more i think.
    Danjo's Guitar
    I actually like Load/Reload too. Not every song is great, but over all I think they're pretty good.