Happy Fools Day: Dave Mustaine to Tour With Metallica

Metallica are expected to announce a short tour with Dave Mustaine replacing Kirk Hammet on guitar this summer.

Happy Fools Day: Dave Mustaine to Tour With Metallica
73
Dave Mustaine was the original lead guitarist for Metallica, but was fired in 1983 after a series of alcohol-fuelled clashes with his bandmates. Now it's been revealed that a secret pact between the members will go into force this year, on the 30th anniversary of Mustaine's original dismissal. According to a source close to the band who was not able to reveal their identify, the remaining Metallica members made a drunken offer to Mustaine after his departure. Decades later, Mustaine has stuck to his part of the deal. "What happened is, Dave [Mustaine] begged to be back in the band after being fired for the final time," said our source. "They said he could join Metallica again if he quit all drink and drugs, found God, became a conspiracy theorist and accused the President of killing innocent civilians, with extra points for every other crazy story he could get in the press." "Suffice to say, he was patient and pulled it off like a pro. Now Metallica has to stick to their part of the deal, so it's happening this summer. And after all, he can't be as bad as Lou Reed." Their secret pact may go some way to explaining why Mustaine has appeared in the press on topics like Chemtrail conspiracies and his unusual onstage Twinkie rant. Metallica are expected to announce the Mustaine shows in the coming week. Kirk Hammet is said to be pretty pissed about the whole affair. Would you see Metallica with Dave Mustaine? Let us know what you think in the comments.

96 comments sorted by best / new / date

comments policy
    jannick
    best Aprils fools of the day. a little over the top, but hilarious!
    link no1
    I think it's one of the worst April fools from UG. Usually I believe it for a few minutes until reading the comments and realizing the day. An April fools joke is, yano, supposed to fool people into believing it.
    eVwaylon
    Exactly. I'm usually duped pretty easy but that didn't fool me a bit.
    Astaldo
    thats exactly what i thought. i knew it was an april fools right when i read the title.
    Woffelz
    I'd still be happy to see this happen!
    6-String_Madman
    The closest thing to it happened 2 years ago at the Filmore. Playing Phantom Lord, Jump In The Fire, Metal Militia, Hit The Lights and Seek And Destroy. First 3 of those we're played with Dave playing all the solos. Hit The Lights with the other 2 earlier members of the band and Seek And Destroy with an all-star cast including the vocalist of Death Angel.
    Shametome
    ...okay, obviously this is a joke, but how ****ing awesome would it be if this actually happened? I mean, I love Kirk and all, but this would be badass.
    DexterF
    I honestly thought the David-Lee-Roth-insured-his-penis item was the april fool's joke. I miss the 80s.
    TheNameOfNoone
    Why does every April Fools joke revolve around Metallica? Heh.
    jordo246
    There's a Limp Bizkit one further down but people are complaining it's not funny, now there is this one and you're complaining they're always about Metallica. People on this site just wanna complain about everything.
    iommi600
    "They said he could join Metallica again if he quit all drink and drugs, found God, became a conspiracy theorist and accused the President of killing innocent civilians, with extra points for every other crazy story he could get in the press." *cringes*
    HigherThanAMile
    C'mon, guys...come up with something like "Justine Beiber gets a Gibson Signature guitar" "Mustaine in Metallica" is like "The Beatles Will Tour"
    Rojam
    For one second I was so excited, then as I read, my smile slowly faded. UG you got me again!
    Comeback Kiddd
    Twinkie rant gave it away. Should of written something about James being concerned about the endangerment of tables
    kratos379
    That was a real thing... I'm not even kidding. Admittedly it's not as ridiculous as it sounds when you actually read the story, but yeah he did go on a rant about Twinkies.
    Pit_
    Last year I fell for it when UG said Metallica was calling it quits, not anymore.
    Axeman Eugene
    Oh man, I was actually going to share this with my friends, but thankfully I strolled through the comments first! That was pure evil, UG!
    Braykah
    When I first went onto the overhead news page and saw this, I thought "Wow, that's pretty cool". Next moment: "Oh wait, it's April Fools. Fuck."
    GenerationKILL
    I'm already sick of the "phony" articles polluting the internet today. How original. Plus, considering this is UG, the journalism in this article isn't a far stretch from the normal nonsense thats "published" on here. By that I mean, its usually just TMZ related bullsh*t peppered with reposts/reinterpretations from other "music" sites like Blabbermouth that aren't too far off on the stupid/biased journalistic integrity scale... Most of the innate bullshit on here I just smirk and think "yeah, Rolling Stone.com or The New York Times has NOTHING on that awesome UG reporting..." OH and now the spam things before each post? Good job UG, it only took you over a year to figure this out. Geniuses.
    havok_12354
    I remember one year this site got with with the whole "metallica are calling quits" and i got into a shit mood. and then i started reading. i think they said James was going to go make super group with Dave, kirk was so fascinated with the wah pedal that he was going to make album (i think) with all instruments with wah pedal, lars was going to go play with lou reed. and robert was going back to Suicidal tendencies.