Lamb Of God
frontman Randy Blythe
has announced that he will make a bid to become President.
In an extraordinary rambling blog post
, Blythe says the present candidates lack "balls
", before making an unusual promise for when he is finally sworn in:
"My first act as President of the United States will to be shot. That's right, SHOT. With a high-powered assault rifle. Immediately after taking the oath of office, I will be escorted about twenty yards away and be shot publicly in a non-lethal area of my body by a highly trained Navy SEAL sniper. It will hurt like f--k.
Blythe says he will do this because he doesn't expect anyone in the armed forces to do anything he wouldn't.
"Me being shot will be broadcast live world-wide via satellite, with no bleeping out of the incredible string of curse words I will undoubtedly let fly with. I will be required to walk/limp/crawl on my own power a minimum of 50 yards through the mud to an ambulance that will take me away to patch me up. If I can't make it on my own, I'm not tough enough to be your President.
"After all the nations in the entire world witness America's new President, an insane looking heavily tattooed freak, getting shot ON HIS OWN ORDER as soon as he takes office, then crawling all bloody to an ambulance, cussing the whole way and screaming pure hate in a monstrous voice tortured by years of touring and Marlboro Reds, they will think twice before f--king with us,
" he adds.
Among his impressive list of promises are to:
- Take 13 weeks of Marine Corps training
- Kill an enemy prisoners in hand-to-hand combat
- Kill the first enemy of any war
- Change the rules of engagement so troops can shoot before the enemy strikes
- Kick some a--
- Drink beer
- Get laid
- Bless America
Blythe appears to focus on foreign policy rather than discuss economic issues, suggesting he may be better suited for the role of Secretary of State.
His slogan? "F--k the dumb s--t. Let's get real here.