Michael Jackson Headlines Glasto

On the day that Glastonbury tickets are due to go on sale, comes the news that Michael Jackson will be headlining the event.

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Xfm reports: On the day that Glastonbury tickets are due to go on sale and following Emily Eavis' recent claim that the line up includes Some really special things planned that people don't know about comes the news that Michael Jackson will be headlining the event. Following rumours that Oasis would be joining Paul McCartney as Glastonbury's second headline act, comes the news that the Prince of Pop Michael Jackson will be topping the bill on the Sunday night of the three day event. Festival co-organiser Avril Fuule explained: We really wanted a special act to finish off the final night of the event and Michael has made himself available - legal problems permitting - to fill the top slot. I must say that Michael has been very enthusiastic about the event, not only offering his services for the Main Stage but also expressing a definate interest in performing in the Children's Field too. Reports claim that Jackson's performance will be his most theatrical ever. The stage itself will be flanked by two 40ft statues of space baboons made entirely of pencil shavings and mice. Jackson will be carried onstage on the shoulders of a giant Ragi Omar marionette before climbing onto a shrimp-operated hydraulic ramp that will catapult the singer three miles outside the festival site to a church hall in Frome. When there he will perform a selection to his greatest hit accompanied by Gene's Martin Rossiter on the arse trumpet.

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    surfturkey
    good old april fools! nice one UG, that made me laugh a lot!! especially the shrimp operated hydraulig ramp...now theres an idea, i wonder....
    Emenius Sleepus
    " definate interest in performing in the Children's Field too.? lol... maybe the story was april fools shit, but this quote makes sense lol
    _1LaStTrY
    hahahaha Avril Fuule, good one, but do you think we're that dumb ?! haha...
    monkey_xxx2003
    michael jackson is a big as ***ing dick and i ***ing hate him and i think that he should be dead by now *** you alll for loving him
    Grudgeshredder
    monkey_xxx2003 wrote: michael jackson is a big as ***ing dick and i ***ing hate him and i think that he should be dead by now *** you alll for loving him
    Looks like you get your wish you ****ing prick...
    §ynysterSte
    seeing all these comments.. Just seeing the hate Michael Jackson was given, and now when he is dead you all praise him, its too late..
    monkey_xxx2003
    michael jackson is a big as ***ing dick and i ***ing hate him and i think that he should be dead by now
    chinko
    Faqu is super gullible,its so obvious its fake, read all the in-comments and the bit at the end. Arse trumpet
    Triple_Tremolo
    FAQU YOU ARE A DUMBASS. *"LOOK! SOMEONE WROTE GULLIBLE ON THE WALL BEHIND YOU!!!"*YOU COMMENTED ON ALL THREE APRIL FOOLS JOKE NEWS AND BELIEVED THEM. SO I WILL GO WITH FOO FIGHTER AND SAY SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!!!
    behn_rocker
    i thought it was funny... especially the mental image of MJ being catpaulted 3 miles to sing his greatest hit. it's a funny thought. and i guess this shows that people just respond to the headlines and not the article... since people were stupid enough to believe this. read the full article if you'll post. now about those shrimp powered hydrolics and gorillas made of mice and pencil shavings....
    gnrfan69
    lol i cnt belive u guys ddnt see this!!!!!he wrote :::Festival co-organiser Avril Fuule explained:AVRIL FUULE,duh
    yertletheturtle
    To many April fools jokes. My heart broke when I read the Black Sabbath one, and realized it was a joke.
    j2k1999
    and by the way, pencil shavings and mice? come on ug how stupid do you think people are?
    deweydog78
    this one was kind of clever. the guys name is Avril Fuule. but everything after that is so unbelievable it ruins the joke.
    Joe@Disturbed16
    Jackson is a gay child raper, end of story, no one cares send him to jail where he can be raped by a guy named Bubba.
    smidy
    broken circle: These have to be the worst April's fools jokes I have ever read!
    Tard.
    faqu
    Fuckin bullshit!!! There will be so many boys in the audiance!!! Do you want micheal to touch them all???