Reviews For Updated Spiderman Musical: It Still Sucks

Despite a major rehash of the failed musical from U2's Bono and The Edge, critics have panned the new version. At least the pair know how to joke about it.

Reviews For Updated Spiderman Musical: It Still Sucks
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After $75 million, a rewrite and a re-score, the curtain has raised on the second launch of the "Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark" musical by Bono and The Edge. The verdict: It still sucks. The new premiere on Tuesday might have attracted A-list celebrities including Matt Damon, Robert De Niro and Liam Neeson - but the reviews don't fare much better than the first failed show. Ben Brantley of the New York Times: "(The show) has become a straightforward children's entertainment with a mildly suspenseful story, two-dimensional characters, unapologetically bad jokes and the kind of melodious rock tunes that those under 12 might be familiar with from listening to their parents' salad-day favourites of the 1980s and '90s." The Wall Street Journal's Terry Teachout: "The score sounds like a double album of B-sides. Not only are the songs forgettable, but they never succeed in generating any dramatic momentum - all they do is get louder." Charles Spencer from the Daily Telegraph: "The show never soars into greatness, or leaves the audience in a state of disbelieving wonder. Indeed, despite all the time and money that has have been lavished on it, Spidey actually turns out to be a bit of a bore." Bono and The Edge presented an award at the Tonys at the weekend (a ceremony akin to the Oscars but for theatre), and made light of the fact that the show has not been the success they hoped. Introducing themselves, Bono said "We used to be famous for being in U2", prompting a friendly laugh from the audience. Bono's jokes continued: "When I saw the Tonys on our schedule, I just assumed we had been nominated." He later admitted he was still "10 per cent away" from being happy with the musical. Thanks for the report to ContactMusic.com.

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    b_flo
    Btw slaveskinJACKET, only someone with no class, like you, can come up with some perverted comments like that. If it crossed your mind, you must do this regularly, maybe to yourself even!
    darkfire_storm
    b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it. slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!! Yes. I am jealous that I will never be able to suck as hard as this musical. I am also jealous that I will never be able to fellate all the celebrities that you have. Everybody is jealous of the pleasures your mouth has received. But who said I wasn't successful? For all you know, I could be Jerry Cantrell. No, Jerry Cantrell is way too classy to be a troll here. Trust me! Wow, what an insult to a legend. Now go back to your whining of why no one even wants to stop by your garage to hear what you call is music. Suck? That's what you think about when you look in the mirror everyday!....LOL Now go "try" and learn your chords, if you know what those are. I'm just playing you like a puppet now. Go ahead, respond to this...but of course, your limited critical thinking limits you to listen to great music and just come on here to troll. I'll be pulling your strings while you type away!
    by feeding the trolls you fail as bad as he does for making such an ignorant comment.
    b_flo
    slaveskinJACKET wrote: b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it. slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!! Yes. I am jealous that I will never be able to suck as hard as this musical. I am also jealous that I will never be able to fellate all the celebrities that you have. Everybody is jealous of the pleasures your mouth has received. But who said I wasn't successful? For all you know, I could be Jerry Cantrell.
    No, Jerry Cantrell is way too classy to be a troll here. Trust me! Wow, what an insult to a legend. Now go back to your whining of why no one even wants to stop by your garage to hear what you call is music. Suck? That's what you think about when you look in the mirror everyday!....LOL Now go "try" and learn your chords, if you know what those are. I'm just playing you like a puppet now. Go ahead, respond to this...but of course, your limited critical thinking limits you to listen to great music and just come on here to troll. I'll be pulling your strings while you type away!
    M15T3RJACK
    You must not be a very good musician if you can write music that destroys Spiderman. Even the simplest ditty sounds good with Spiderman. Spiderman, Spiderman, Does whatever a spider can. SERIOUSLY! How did this go wrong? Oh, I forgot. U2 was involved.
    b_flo
    darkfire_storm wrote: b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it. slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!! Yes. I am jealous that I will never be able to suck as hard as this musical. I am also jealous that I will never be able to fellate all the celebrities that you have. Everybody is jealous of the pleasures your mouth has received. But who said I wasn't successful? For all you know, I could be Jerry Cantrell. No, Jerry Cantrell is way too classy to be a troll here. Trust me! Wow, what an insult to a legend. Now go back to your whining of why no one even wants to stop by your garage to hear what you call is music. Suck? That's what you think about when you look in the mirror everyday!....LOL Now go "try" and learn your chords, if you know what those are. I'm just playing you like a puppet now. Go ahead, respond to this...but of course, your limited critical thinking limits you to listen to great music and just come on here to troll. I'll be pulling your strings while you type away! by feeding the trolls you fail as bad as he does for making such an ignorant comment.
    I hear ya. Me and him go way back....Lol
    belavista man
    I'm sick of hearing about this musical. And, for the record, at least these guys bothered to go out there and try and partake in a mammoth project like this one. Waste of (THEIR) time, and waste of (THEIR) money, maybe. But I don't see how that seriously affects anyone on here? When you've scripted, scored and directed one of your own musical, then you can knock them. Until then, at least give them the benefit of the doubt.
    Harry_66
    slaveskinJACKET wrote: b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it. slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!! Yes. I am jealous that I will never be able to suck as hard as this musical. I am also jealous that I will never be able to fellate all the celebrities that you have. Everybody is jealous of the pleasures your mouth has received. But who said I wasn't successful? For all you know, I could be Jerry Cantrell.
    b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it. slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!! Yes. I am jealous that I will never be able to suck as hard as this musical. I am also jealous that I will never be able to fellate all the celebrities that you have. Everybody is jealous of the pleasures your mouth has received. But who said I wasn't successful? For all you know, I could be Jerry Cantrell. No, Jerry Cantrell is way too classy to be a troll here. Trust me! Wow, what an insult to a legend. Now go back to your whining of why no one even wants to stop by your garage to hear what you call is music. Suck? That's what you think about when you look in the mirror everyday!....LOL Now go "try" and learn your chords, if you know what those are. I'm just playing you like a puppet now. Go ahead, respond to this...but of course, your limited critical thinking limits you to listen to great music and just come on here to troll. I'll be pulling your strings while you type away!
    b_flo you actually sound like a whining sad little bitch. Jerry Cantrell at least made me laugh. And btw, it was pretty damn obvious that this would suck anyway.
    slaveskinJACKET
    b_flo wrote: slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it. slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!!
    Yes. I am jealous that I will never be able to suck as hard as this musical. I am also jealous that I will never be able to fellate all the celebrities that you have. Everybody is jealous of the pleasures your mouth has received. But who said I wasn't successful? For all you know, I could be Jerry Cantrell.
    b_flo
    slaveskinJACKET wrote: Well, I could have told you that without sitting through it.
    slaveskinJACKET strikes again! Wow, don't you have some learning to do. Have you even attempted to raise your garage door? What's your excuse this time for not succeeding in this world of music? JEALOUS!!!!
    District
    lefty311 wrote: Musicals ALWAYS suck.
    This.... but Jesus Christ Superstar is an exception to the rule.
    Trent Armitage
    The critics probably thought it sucked because it wasn't like Hairspray? Anyways, I like how UG can post articles about how this musical sucks but when I post something bad about a band I get a warning about it. Hypocrite.
    RikkiTikkiTavi
    District : lefty311 wrote: Musicals ALWAYS suck. This.... but Jesus Christ Superstar is an exception to the rule.
    and phantom of the opera and we will rock you kinda looks like musicals don't always suck...
    6_string_attack
    Musicals do not always suck because there used to be thought and passion put into inventing them and writing them. Now anyone with the right amount of money can get something done. Look at the past and see how few musicals came out. The same goes for movies. There are all these companies that CAN make a movie just because they can. No thought goes into it any more. I think the whole creative process is, "hey I got a lot of money, lets make a Movie/musical." Waste of money and time. Bono and The Edge could have done something better with their money but wanted to be known as "Theater" people not just great rockers.
    JordanDH
    RikkiTikkiTavi wrote: District : lefty311 wrote: Musicals ALWAYS suck. This.... but Jesus Christ Superstar is an exception to the rule. and phantom of the opera and we will rock you kinda looks like musicals don't always suck...
    Musicals don't always suck, but We Will Rock You does.