'Sperm For Tickets' Is A Hoax

Music magazine NME reports that a company in Ireland is offering free tickets to any European festival in exchange for a sperm donation.

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NME reports that a company in Ireland is offering free tickets to any European festival in exchange for a sperm donation. Before you drop your trousers, however, I can reveal that it's sadly just a PR stunt, reports Sciencepunk.com. The NME says: "Sperm donors are to be offered free tickets to any music festival in Europe under a new initiative. "Passes to a festival of their choice will be offered to any donors in Europe who contribute to Ireland's sperm reserves." The Sperm For Tickets website says: "We have set up an alternative method for donations by using specially developed donation containers combined with a fast courier network to offer a mail system. The patented container is a new discovery that was made by our research and development team, which allows samples to to stay fresh for up to 3 days. We offer a worldwide courier service using DHL and UPS that guarantee delivery times. "And there, unfortunately, is the line that gives it all away. There is absolutely no way any regular next-day courier service is going to transport biohazardous materials like blood or semen. A quick phonecall to both DHL and UPS confirms that neither are willing to collect my precious seed (without special licences and so on). There are, of course, other tell-tale signs that this isn't true: Sperm For Tickets don't mention who they're collecting it for (NHS? private clinics?), and don't list any contact information on their website. They own a .com domain rather than a .org domain. The likelihood that they've struck some deal with every single festival in Europe, great and small, to turn your junk into free passes is improbable in the extreme." And finally, the website was registered by Dave Clayton of Area52, a Dublin-based marketing firm. Wait, did I say firm? I meant, group of marketing students at Dublin University. They say: "Ever tried eating your shoe while scuba diving up-side-down in the hope of having a eureka moment to come up with an amazing idea? "No. "Well, we have. And after a few attempts we realised it was not working, so instead we gathered Ireland's sharpest minds to generate ideas in a think-tank environment. "Ireland's sharpest minds are more preoccupied with masturbation than curing cancer, it seems. Well done guys - you've created a thinly-veiled hoax masquerading as a news story to no obvious benefit to anyone. I'd say that makes you indistinguishable from most PR hacks already working out there." Thanks for reporting this to Gordo Thomson.

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    bootyking69
    awwww man! i spent all night feeling up this bucket! im sueing for damages to my arm hands and my jiblets!
    3lusiv3
    Lacebad wrote: "Irelands sharpest minds are more preoccupied with masturbation than curing cancer" as an Irishman i say this is tits...i mean true. ah and i was gonna wank for wacken
    I made that joke 7 hours before you in the other thread.
    bootyking69
    awwww man! i spent all night filling up this bucket! im sueing for damages to my arm hands and my jiblets!
    metOLIca
    Lacebad wrote: "Irelands sharpest minds are more preoccupied with masturbation than curing cancer" as an Irishman i say this is tits...i mean true. ah and i was gonna wank for wacken I made that joke 7 hours before you in the other thread.
    As if you'd point that out to make sure you get credit for the joke, checking posting times and shit... haha anyway i always thought it was pretty obivous there'd be some sort of catch, or a scam.... sounds too good to be true, wank in your room and get free concert tickets, thats like saying eat this burger and shag Miss. Jolie... not gunna happen
    deadlyMETAL
    Heh, I love how they traced it back to a group of students at a university.... Figures they'd do something so douchey.
    UnknownHero 666
    HAHAHA man, that's hilarious, why would anyone believe that. It defineatly would be a sweet deal for tickets if it were true though, I mean who wouldn't want to look at porn and do their business and get concert tickets for it.
    messenjah
    y'know when you think about its a genius idea... i sure as hell wouldnt mind jerking off for tickets to download or wacken
    Lacebad
    "Irelands sharpest minds are more preoccupied with masturbation than curing cancer" as an Irishman i say this is tits...i mean true. ah and i was gonna wank for wacken