The Worst Jobs In Rock & Roll

Ah, the life of a music-biz grunt. Sure, the pay's OK but is it worth the junkie-defending, bullet-dodging, heiress-stewarding headache?

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Ah, the life of a music-biz grunt. Sure, the pay's OK but is it worth the junkie-defending, bullet-dodging, heiress-stewarding headache?

Blender has posted The Worst Jobs In Rock & Roll list, excerpts from which can be sound below.

Pete Doherty's Lawyer

Since his 2003 criminal debut for burgling then-bandmate Carl Barat's apartment, the Babyshambles frontman has been arrested at least 20 times including three times in one magical day in January 2006. Most of the busts have been for heroin and crack possession, with the odd assault charge thrown in. Doherty has shown up late to court, assaulted a reporter in front of the courthouse and allegedly given one judge the finger. The hardest part is probably his unpredictability whether he'll turn up for conferences, says Samantha Cohen, a criminal-defense lawyer in London. Despite Doherty's string of broken pledges to clean up, his indefatigable lawyer, Sean Curran, has mostly kept him out of prison. He has a fairly faultless record, Cohen says. Pete's a complete moron if he isn't grateful.

Guns N' Roses' Tour Manager

A tour manager's job should be simple: Get your band to the gig and make sure their needs (drugs, girls, bail money) are met along the way. Naturally, with Guns N' Roses, nothing is simple. As far as trouble goes, mainly it's dealing with Axl, says John Reese, who comanaged and tour-managed the band between 1988 and 1997. He walks to the beat of his own drummer. He's not real aware of the stimuli around him. Reese bribed customs officials and once shuttled GNR out of Bogot, Colombia, on a private plane to escape the clutches of a drug cartel. More recent tour managers have endured their own headaches: riots resulting from canceled dates in Vancouver and Philadelphia, when Axl failed to turn up on time, and springing Axl from a Swedish jail after the singer allegedly bit a hotel security guard's leg. Every single night there's a possibility of a riot, Reese says. Axl would go on an hour and a half late, on average. Every travel arrangement, every hotel consideration everything's centered on 'How am I going to get Axl Rose onstage tonight?'

Hatebreed's Mosh-Pit Security

Keeping a sweaty mass of testosterone-jacked fans from beating one another senseless and/or rushing the stage is a dangerous, thankless gig. It's one of the toughest workouts ever, says Bryan Maiorana, who's worked security at shows by Hatebreed, Killswitch Engage, GWAR and others. Hatebreed gigs are especially rough. The Connecticut hardcore act commonly stokes the pit's passions from the stage, often presiding over a wall of death in which fans line up at opposite sides of the pit, then violently collide at full speed. In 2005, one concertgoer died of liver damage after taking part and another 25 were treated for injuries. The crowd wants to fight, Maiorana says. You never know what's going to happen. You don't know somebody's strength or if they have a weapon. You've always gotta be on guard.

Bonnaroo Clean-Up Crew

The Bonnaroo clean-up crew works back-breaking 10-hour shifts for over two weeks straight in the Tennessee sun, servicing the festival's trash and recycling bins, as well as picking up every stray beer can, cigarette butt, used condom and abandoned Birkenstock left behind on the 700-acre site. When you've got a 55-gallon drum with a full trash bag in it and you're picking up 500 of those per shift in 90-degree heat and intense humidity, it's definitely taxing, says Anna Borofsky, co-owner of Clean Vibes, the company that handles Bonnaroo's waste management. Some less-conscientious festivalgoers leave their campsites strewn with clothes, furniture and even buckets of human excrement. The real work, though, comes in the recycling: We'll have a pile of bags 20 feet tall and a couple hundred feet in diameter of recycling to sort through. At times, it seems like an endless task, Borofsky says.

Read more at Blender.com.

73 comments sorted by best / new / date

    frankv
    What about being the bassist for the Bloodhound Gang? The singer pisses on him!
    Minkaro
    not_dead_enough wrote: And on GnR, I imagine that job being even harder when Buckethead was in the band, coz I hear he was equally hard to control!
    Nah, just hold a chicken hostage, and threaten to klll it. That'll scare him into submission
    Robman2k9
    ACDCistheshiz wrote: RockDragon : How about Angus Youngs groupies? Yeah the guy's a legend but damn if he didnt fall out of the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down! haha this is def true
    hahaa,
    ACDCistheshiz
    RockDragon : How about Angus Youngs groupies? Yeah the guy's a legend but damn if he didnt fall out of the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down! haha this is def true
    last_biscuit
    Sean-Man wrote: how about keith richards doctor lol
    Or the company that give him life insurance...even though everyone says he'll never die, I think he'll die in a really un-rock'n'roll way like falling on a shard of broken glass or something lol
    halffast
    Wicked_Bassist7 wrote: great post, but you gotta include bassist
    lmfao
    ynofaee12909121
    Cobalt Blue wrote: what about Mosh-Pit Security for Air Supply? that pit's gotta get crazy once 'all out of love' hits.
    ohhhh man hahahaha
    -heartbreaker-
    Box_of_Spanners wrote: Cobain's guitar tech. "Kurt....I just restrung that...why...."
    hahaha yeah! this actually should be on the list! after every show, he would have to salvage what he could and re build a lot of his guitars....and amps....and the drumsets.....and basses.....
    halffast
    PopNFresh07 wrote: Pete Doherty's lawyer is a bad job? No, no. I'd bet that his lawyer is rich by now.
    Yeah, but the lawyer's job gets harder and harder every time Doherty gets into trouble. It's nearly impossible to be in court that many times and not have a spiteful judge throw you in prison for a long time, especially considering the charges against Doherty.
    verona_bassist
    Jastul wrote: GrungePb wrote: add the guy thats trying to promote chinese democracy Nah, that guy's got it good, if the ablum ever comes out it's gonna sell itself, the one that's got a really shitty job is the guy that's supposed to make sure chinese democracy gets finished
    incredible answer..yer right obviously, he's probably gonna be the happiest person in the world when that happens
    Zar938
    what about the roadie for whatever band terry bozzio is playing with that would be a BITCH
    vinnym86
    HA! I was at bonnaroo... that *would* be a bitch of a clean-up job. Then agian, there are those who would welcome that job. My friend works waste management for a state park and all he does is drink, smoke, rail pills, and do a damn good job of picking up trash.
    olithebass
    the worst job working for any role for john petrucci. its bascially gona be him screaming 'no you petty scum, I am God, I shall kill you with my godly guitar skill, dont question my authority, I can play 5 million notes per second!!' 'yeah sure john whatever you say.. cough' lol
    fretsonfire74
    PopNFresh07 wrote: Pete Doherty's lawyer is a bad job? No, no. I'd bet that his lawyer is rich by now.
    still a shit job. if you got paid heaps to professionally wipe ppls asses, it still wouldnt b a good job.
    Stonewall X
    paul_brownell wrote: Worst job in rock? how about Metalica's copyright lawyer (that guy must have Lar's number on his speed dial)!
    Okay, when are people going to quit whining about the Napster thing? Seriously, grow up!
    lextexrex
    "shuttled GNR out of Bogot, Colombia, on a private plane to escape the clutches of a drug cartel" + "Wall of Death" = lol!
    Horvat
    Cobalt Blue wrote: what about Mosh-Pit Security for Air Supply? that pit's gotta get crazy once 'all out of love' hits.
    snuggleblade wrote: lucretia is a badass song by megadeth.
    These are the only comments I agree with so far.
    Wolfhound
    Being an original member of Def Leppard. Of the first guitar players, one died from alcohol, and the other was thrown out for similar problems and disappeared from music. Also the drummer lost his left arm in a car crash. The 2 original members left probably wrap themselves in bubblewrap before leaving home.
    fornillia
    or how about bein pete doherty, knowing that you are the biggest twat in the universe has got to be crushing
    Zomboo
    Being in metallica would be the worst job ever because lars and james love hard cock so much.
    daryljmorris
    -heartbreaker- wrote: Box_of_Spanners wrote: Cobain's guitar tech. "Kurt....I just restrung that...why...." hahaha yeah! this actually should be on the list! after every show, he would have to salvage what he could and re build a lot of his guitars....and amps....and the drumsets.....and basses.....
    hahaha you can just imagine him cringing throught each Nirvana set. 'pleaaase dont destroy things tonight...pleassee..'
    spiderfizz
    ACDCistheshiz wrote: RockDragon : How about Angus Youngs groupies? Yeah the guy's a legend but damn if he didnt fall out of the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down! haha this is def true
    not to mention the std's that are on the table.....
    kdownes
    srv34 wrote: axl rose's publicist would have been my choice. *publicist* Yeah axl is going through a creative spurt and is expecting to launch chinese democracy at some point in the comming months *Press* isn't that what you said 8 years ago *publicist* .....(Runs away)
    LOL!
    Set-Abominae
    Minkaro wrote: not_dead_enough wrote: And on GnR, I imagine that job being even harder when Buckethead was in the band, coz I hear he was equally hard to control! Nah, just hold a chicken hostage, and threaten to klll it. That'll scare him into submission
    LOL, THAT was funny. Oh and yeah, LoG's mosh was way more intense than Hatebreed's.
    srv34
    axl rose's publicist would have been my choice. *publicist* Yeah axl is going through a creative spurt and is expecting to launch chinese democracy at some point in the comming months *Press* isn't that what you said 8 years ago *publicist* .....(Runs away)
    Comeback Kiddd
    frankv wrote: What about being the bassist for the Bloodhound Gang? The singer pisses on him!
    haha that is interesting....
    visionen
    Kids trying to impress by bashing popular bands usually don't spell very well.
    psychodelia
    Let's clear this up... no posting anything involving "the worst job is working for X band because that band sucks", or similar flaming. Warnings/bannings will follow. Checked
    Stuminton
    PopNFresh07 wrote: Pete Doherty's lawyer is a bad job? No, no. I'd bet that his lawyer is rich by now.
    haha good answer
    Reddaz
    what about the dream theater drum tech hu has to clean the spit guard between mike portnoy's drums and john petrucci's amp (cos he just gobs all the time)
    CobenBlack
    i dont think being dohertys lawyer wud be that bad. ud be rich - hes been arrested 20 times, and every single one the lawyer gets paid for representing him.
    Cobalt Blue
    what about Mosh-Pit Security for Air Supply? that pit's gotta get crazy once 'all out of love' hits.
    arondadi
    paul_brownell wrote: Worst job in rock? how about Metalica's copyright lawyer (that guy must have Lar's number on his speed dial)!
    burnout202 wrote: how bout matalica in general, seeing as they have to put up with lar's shitty drumming. that must suck
    Lar's???? uhh, what??? It Lars. just pointing that out
    visionen
    interesting to hear these old brainless comments about metallica beeing resurrected again. First, being an amature guitarist and metal-fan, I haven't heard Lars involved in a copyright fight in a long time, with the possible exception of the fake and embarrassing article here on UG not long ago. Secondly, having heard Lars on their last two tours, I can vogue for the fact that he plays better then ever, and better than most.
    paul_brownell
    Worst job in rock? how about Metalica's copyright lawyer (that guy must have Lar's number on his speed dial)!
    not_dead_enough
    In reference to hatebreed moshpits...I woulda thought Deicide would be the worst, not coz they are the roughest (I know they are not) but because Deicide fans are usually violent pricks who want to fight instead of mosh (no disrespect to the band). And on GnR, I imagine that job being even harder when Buckethead was in the band, coz I hear he was equally hard to control!