Friday Fun: Balalaika Tabs

Unbelievable! Twelve years of study and research, millions of dollars spent, 25000 computers exploded and 17 programmers gone insane - we've finally made it!

Friday Fun: Balalaika Tabs
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Unbelievable! Twelve years of study and research, millions of dollars spent, 25,000 computers exploded and 17 programmers gone insane - we've finally made it! UG is absolutely proud to present you a mind-blowing revolutionary app - Ultimate Balalaika Inspired Tabs, Chords and Holograms (aka U.B.I.T.C.H.) What does it mean? Ultimate Balalaika Tabs provides you with a wide variety of popular songs' tabs arranged exclusively for this fine instrument. Always wanted to learn how to play Smells Like Teen Spirit on balalaika? Eager to balalaika-jam on some Black Sabbath tunes? We've got it here for you. There's nothing to be ashamed of - although not really publicized, many outstanding artists began their music careers playing balalaika, Jimi Hendrix and Joe Satriani to name a few. They switched to guitar only because it was easier to play. If you want to become a balalaika hero and master what they call a Godfather of Guitar, check our app. Ultimate Balalaika Tabs - it balls! Main features:
  • The app is available on all known and unknown mobile platforms and can be launched even on your Nokia 3310
  • System requirements are beyond common sense: the only thing that's needed is a spare bear and a bottle of vodka
  • Interactive menu: allows you to use the app as a drink pal, with a built-in toasts database and 12 characters to choose from
  • Ultimate Balalaika Tabs currently holds 1st place in the App Store rating among all the apps, leaving Angry Birds far behind
  • 2 sickest tab packs included: "Best of Justin Bieber" and "Moldavian Death Metal"
  • A new update is out every 15 minutes Upon installing the app, Slash instantly became a fan. In fact, he loved balalaika so much he decided to use it on his next record. Check out his jam:
    When asked about the app, Sir Paul McCartney said: "Best thing ever to come out since White Album. A must have." What's more, Ultimate Balalaika Tabs is absolutely free! When downloading, you will only be asked to donate a small sum of money to "Free Willy" fund. It's up to you whether to choose or lose - get your own Ultimate Balalaika Tabs now!
  • 71 comments sorted by best / new / date

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      Shaggy91
      Ha? Im confused snickering. did you guys get massively bent last night? Cause that would be good enough for me, ehough said. cheers.
      iommi600
      OMG, that bear in the first picture looks so retarded that I can't stop laughing.
      soXlittleXtimeX
      I feel uncomfortable, but I like it. Sort of like that feeling you get when an ugly girl comes on to you.
      Dostoyevskian
      I would use anything that has a logo of a stoned bear holding an instrument and a bottle of vodka.
      Fenrix
      I'm the only one that thinks that this is kind of hilarious?
      Maestro1600
      People who call themselves 'smart', usually aren't. Business with 'Posh' in their name, usually aren't. Articles that call themselves 'fun', well, I think you can see where this is going...
      Kenjamin91
      jannick wrote: looking at all the news. its either a late aprils fool or UG has been hacked...
      There's a joke article every Friday. Sometimes a cartoon or something. Fun Friday article! I'm only curious to see how many people believed it.
      cbabb7
      Apparantly the Balalaika is a hidden gem, i mustve been living under a rock for a while...
      AmirT
      It's friday, friday gotta get down on friday! FUN FUN FUN!
      Rock'nRolla
      Я русский Иван, я люблю балалайк 80;, водку и медведей.
      -xCaMRocKx-
      In all seriousness, UG should offer "other" as a tab category. Lots of rock/folk/country music features mandolin, banjo, and stringed instruments. UG should accommodate this.
      jimcrow
      Don't tell me you haven't listened to Moldovian Death Metal before!
      Reddaz
      It's Friday fun guys! Considering the site is Russian based, it took me a few min to realise this is made up. I'm strangely disapointed that it is now :-(
      umbrella666
      I don't get what everyone is complaining about. It's just a little joke. Lighten up people.
      thebigredjj10
      I don't know what the others are complaining about. Nothing but a little fun! I'd rather see jokes than (the new) Mustaines opinions on or Courtenay Loves insanity... And it's not like we haven't heard about Axl and Guns to death. Drunk Russian bears playing the Balalaika, ain't nuthin' wrong with that!
      Armalon
      That article makes my day! Thanks to our news department, especially to Ian Paul Gint =)
      deadlydictator
      I bet they were all sitting around the office like "who we gon' fool this fridey?" ... ... ... UBITCH!!!
      6-String_Madman
      Take me to the magic of the moment on a glory night where the children of tomorrow dream away in a wind of change... Let you Balalaika sing while my guitar wants to say....
      JDizzle787
      the sad thing is that this is a joke. Balakailakalialkalakaiiallakalkalai tabs would be sick.
      MaDRussian
      I'm from Siberia.There every russian man and bear can play balalaika since childhood.
      Steinar_NV
      WE ARE EWERYWHEEEEREEEEE We give balalayka to you and tomorrow we will give you VODKA and BEARS! И здесь дофига русских, отличный сайт же
      jannick
      looking at all the news. its either a late aprils fool or UG has been hacked...
      icry
      Sex and vodka every day makes me cool Diablo play! водка водка Борис Ельцин