Friday Fun: Kiss Merchandise

Of all the legendary rock bands to ever peddle merch in their name, KISS has lead the way in creativity and ridiculousness.

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Of all the legendary rock bands to ever peddle merch in their name, KISS has lead the way in creativity and ridiculousness. Don't believe us? Check out the following gallery and peek at the trinkets, body products and actual, functional KISS "Kaskets" as we takes a survey of some of the craziest items ever sold in the name of KISS.

KISS Kasket and Cremation Urn - Not livin' out your rock 'n' roll dream? At least you can get buried in an official KISS casket. Think of it as your tour bus ... for the afterlife.

KISS Kondoms - Cover your 'Love Gun' before someone gets hurt.

KISS Mr. Potato Heads - Only slightly more plastic than the actual musicians.

KISS Your Face Makeup Kit - The KISS army soldiers had the most festive camouflage ever.

KISS Biking Shorts - Guaranteed to turn heads down at the biker bar.

KISS Ice Cream - The 'Lick It Up' puns practically make themselves.

KISS Masks - Throat sore from cheering on your favorite football team? Don't despair - just put on this KISS mask for permanent enthusiasm.

KISS Dolls - Ken couldn't help but wonder about the black lipstick on Barbie's collar.

KISS Visa - There are some things money can't buy, but they don't come embossed with the KISS logo, so you don't need them.

KISS Coffeehouse - South Carolinians planning to rock and roll all nite can start by getting their caffeine fix at the KISS Coffeehouse in Myrtle Beach.

Mount KISS-more Sculpture - KISS: Almost as old as the founding fathers, but solid as a rock! Or, in this case, polystone.

What'd we miss? Got some? Raise your hand or wag your tongue in the comment section.

Thanks for the report to Noisecreep.

33 comments sorted by best / new / date

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    sn00ze
    You missed Kiss toilet paper and Hello Kitty stuff.
    ChucklesMginty
    Fun fact: Dimebag Darrell was buried in one of those caskets.
    Lightning_Ray
    He was a huge KISS fan. He was also buried with one of Eddie Van Halen's Frankenstrats, who also happens to be a KISS fan. Now that I think of it, KISS influenced more people than most realise, didn't they? PS: KISS's VISA card is not as bad as the VISA in Batman & Robin...
    RndyW0
    And was also buried with an ungodly amount of whiskey. That's the coolest bit
    majorpain1023
    Gene is a marketing genius. People will buy anything, and he's counting on that. If people will buy it, why not sell it, no matter what it is. Don't hate on him because he figured out how to be rich and stay rich.
    Bati
    Let me get this straight, Kiss condoms have an image of Gene waiting to lick the glans that will fill the tip of the condom, or is he stretching to lick what the condom's getting into...? Wait, I don't even want to know either way.
    iommi600
    Kiss Merchandise? In other news, Dave Mustaine talks out of his ass, Axl is late and Courtney Love is high on something.
    swave75
    Huge KISS fan. Just paid my KISS Army dues again. I hate that they made KISS toilet paper. But the action figures or dolls are really cool!
    metalgod96
    Kiss condoms, sorry, Kondoms are tongue lubricated? Just....what? And the Kiss coffin? I would never want to be buried in something like that. And as for the makeup kit, isn't that just a regular kit of black and white makeup? God, Kiss will put their faces on anything.
    cvr666
    You also missed the $4250 Kiss Monster Book that's coming out.
    JohnRegular
    I'm sure there's some kind of irony in the fact that a band called Kiss have condoms as part of their merchandise...
    gnurph
    Not irony, smart business. Why buy condoms when you can just take them out of your inventory? Besides, I'm sure the groupies have been screaming to see 'little Gene' all painted up.
    thetoasteroven
    there is no i in team but there is an e just like theres an e in gene coincidense i think not
    flyneye
    Be the first one on your block to have the KISS "Dildo", from the only metal band to have a disco hit.
    Kirarina
    wooooahh!!!!!I'm getting sick of this... wish them to be buried in their "Kiss coffins,and don't forget to put there condoms and toilet paper as well..and better tape around with it as mummies!!!