Top 10 Slams Of 2012

Alright, we admit. The whole slam trend was a UG in-joke, but most of you picked up on it. Here, we explain the backstory to this meme, and why it suddenly ended a few months ago...

Ultimate Guitar

There's a running joke in the UG community that this site loves writing about "Slams". This person slammed that, that person slammed them, and so on.

Run a search for "slam" on the UG news section, and you'll notice that the trend began in early 2011, right when a certain English news writer joined the team. Let's hear them explain themselves:

"I admit, 'slam' became a joke between some of the editorial team," the anonymous UG writer said. "It began as a simple way to communicate conflict in a snappy headline, but soon became an in-joke for readers in the comment section. Of course, once we noticed, it fed into us finding subtle (or maybe not-so-subtle) excuses to use it."

To their credit, this writer wasn't the only staffer to ride the Slam train. And indeed, it was funny to see commenters take on the joke and re-phrase other headlines into the same format. You might have also spotted our little Slam reference in the joke 2035 article a few months back too.

Read on to find out about the biggest Slam articles of 2012, and discover the backstory behind how and why this trend ended a few months ago.

10. Google Slammed For Supporting Piracy

The music industry is amid a long battle with peer-to-peer websites, but has started to turn its attention to search giant Google too. Pirates often say their sites which list links to infringing content is no different to Google and its search results, so it was going to happen eventually.

Google says it shouldn't be responsible for the behaviour of other websites. But then, it's recently been accused of dodging taxes in the UK at least - maybe it's time Google stepped up to it's responsibilities as a central figure on the modern internet.

9. The Black Keys Slam Justin Bieber

No pun intended on this one, we swear. Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney said he was out of patience for the Grammy awards, and "can't bulls--t myself by sitting through a Justin Bieber song [at the event]."

Alright, we admit: this wasn't really a slam-worthy article, but the only alternative was 'Black Keys Drummer Moans About Something For The 14th Time This Week', so you'll understand our predicament.

8. Sammy Hagar Slams Van Halen Single + Sammy Hagar Continues To Slam The New Van Halen

Sammy Hagar didn't just slam the new Van Halen songs once - he slammed them twice. Oh yeah. It was the equivalent of Hagar grabbing you by the ears and roaring in your face. It's too bad we didn't have a dedicated 'Slam' award, because Hagar would OWN it.

7. Kiss And Motley Crue Slam Rihanna

The writer in question has since said "I can't believe the sub-editors let that one slip by." Too f--king right, that headline is outrageous!

Uh, some backstory: the rockers were criticising Rihanna as an exemplary pop artist. That's all. Nothing to see here, move on.

6. Kyuss Lives! Slam Josh Homme

After founding Kyuss members Josh Homme and Scott Reeder discovered that their old bandmates may have wanted to steal the rights to their band name, they went legal and tried to shut down the alleged plans. But then the new version of the band, Kyuss Lives!, struck back and slammed him for having double standards:

"I wasn't surprised by Josh [and Scott Reeder's actions] at all," said drummer Brant Bjork in May. "They don't want to mention that they trademarked the name Kyuss after I left the band, assuring that I had no rights in Kyuss' future.

"They're both accusing John and I of doing something that they actually did themselves. Their inner conflict is this: both Josh and Scott want control and money from Kyuss Lives!, but they don't want to participate and they ultimately don't want us to exist. The double standard is unbelievable."

5. Philip Anselmo Slams NFL

In the so-called Bountygate scandal, there were supposedly bonuses being paid for bad behaviour in NHL games. Phil wasn't happy, and gave them a legitimate slam for it.

4. Chris Cornell Slams Modern Pop, Eighties Rock

Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell had enough of modern music in February, saying it "couldn't be any worse than it is now." But as you might expect, he said rock music could swoop in to save the day:

"I've always believed that rock music benefits from an obstacle. The worst rock is made when everybody loves rock, like in the late Eighties. That's the only time hard rock has been the biggest-selling genre of music - and it was mostly crap.

"The Seattle scene was the antithesis of that. Soundgarden was very instrumental in creating that shift. We were one of the first bands to be held up and looked at, where the engines of commercial rock thought, 'This is the future. This band or bands like it can be selling millions of records'."

3. Morrissey Slams Everything

The Smiths' singer is like a British Dave Mustaine, only with less goodwill. Run a search for Morrissey on UG and almost every post is about his frequent critical stamping on modern culture, usually targeted at the British Royal Family.

One particularly lowlight was when he said the Norway massacre was "nothing compared to what happens in McDonalds and KFC every day." Okay, it wasn't a slam headline, but it might as well have said "Morrissey Slams Basic Common Sense".

2. Randy Blythe Slams US Government

The Lamb Of God singer, who currently faces manslaughter charges in the Czech Republic, slammed the US government for failing to warn him that the Czech authorities wanted to arrest him. Apparently they knew about it, but simply neglected to get in contact. Pretty sloppy, but by facing his accusers in court Blythe can present his side of the story and hopefully clear his name.

1. Chad Kroeger Slams Avril Lavigne Haters

This was the moment that the UG Slam meme ended.

The original headline read: "Chad Kroeger Only Started Dating Avril Lavigne In July". Our writer took another look at that boring, un-clickable headline and had a change of heart.

The proposed solution: a new headline which read "Chad Kroeger Slams Avril Lavigne Haters". It's a subtle (and perhaps risqué) visual illusion, and we knew UG readers would have fun picking up on it in the comments. Of course, we knew it somewhat stretched the content of the article, considering Chad only said "I try not to take too much interest in the world's opinion of our relationship. I just know the both of us are very happy."

But he resulting thread was hilarious, and had us in stitches for days. In fact, it was so good, that we knew we could never top it. It was time for the slamming to stop.

And seriously, we wish the best to both Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne (or "Chavril" as our space-concious headline writer prefers) in their marriage.

And that's it. Consider that the UG meme of 2012.

But pay attention, dear readers, because we're always just a couple of words away from adding other in-jokes. Keep your eyes peeled in 2013...

50 comments sorted by best / new / date

    Is anyone else terrified by that last picture of Chavril?
    surprised that Dave Mustaine wasn't mentioned here... basically slamming everything that can be slammed
    Chris Cornell slams pop...after releasing a horrible solo pop album.
    Insanity ninja
    " Of course, we knew it somewhat stretched the content of the article" Since when has UG ever been bothered about this?
    "Ride the slam train?" Pretty sure I saw that somewhere else on the internet once...
    What about Dave Mustaine slamming Obama?
    So did Phil slam NFL or the NHL. If it's the NHL, then i'm interested. I have no doubt bad behavior gives bonuses.
    Well, reading that article and posting my comment consumed 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back. BORING.
    "If you can't slam with the rest, then jam with the rest" - Charles Barkley, 2041