Wednesday Question: Worst Lyric Lines?

Name the most cringeworthy lyrics in rock history, now!

Wednesday Question: Worst Lyric Lines?
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As much as they are able to deeply touch fans and make one think about certain matters, rock lyrics have the colossal power of making your teeth cringe with anger and make the listener genuinely embarrassed.

For this week's Wednesday question, we'll focus on the latter type. So without further ado, the question we're asking you is:

What's the worst lyric line in rock?

The metal genre is also included in the vote of course. Anyhow, can you think of that rant-inducing line that makes you feel nauseous from the very first word? Some cock-rock loving, pseudo-philosophical gibberish or a certain form of furniture with a flat horizontal upper surface used to support objects of interest, for storage, show, and/or manipulation? Yes? No? Take your pick and share it in the comments.

Same rules as always apply - only one suggestion per comment, vote up the ideas you support and vote down the ones you dislike. We'll sum up your votes by Friday and bring you another traditional UG Top 10. May the worst lyrics win!

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    Nero Galon
    The table is there because UG already know whats coming haha.
    cyclonus
    Dial L for Lulu!
    peachesenregali
    A picture of Dream Theater would be equally appropriate. The absolute worst lyricists in world music. They personally offend me.
    Shotgunmerc
    How do they personally offend you
    peachesenregali
    If at least half of the people who downvoted this can produce an example of good Dream Theater lyrics I'll take it back. Dream Theater lyrics are shit, and that's a fact.
    Silver Blues
    Just look at the story Metropolis Pt. 2 tells, and tell me if that could have happened without the lyrics. Taken in a vacuum they might not be the world's most poetic lyrics but that isn't always the point. Or, if you insist, what about this snippet from "The Enemy Inside"? I'm a burden and a travesty I'm a prisoner of regret Between the flashbacks and the violent dreams I am hanging on the edge Disaster lurks around the bend Paradise came to an end And no magic pill can bring it back again This exact situation hits home for a large number of people. Good lyrics tell a story or make an impact, and I believe both examples I have given you do this. I don't believe you can justify your claim that Dream Theater are the "worst lyricists in the WORLD of music", when we have such a slew of far more awful lyricists to pull from.
    telephonebear
    i agree, metropolis is possibly the best rock opera ever (story wise at least, rudess' keyboard randomness isnt great though)
    TheLiberation
    I don't even know why I'm wasting my keyboard for someone who calls his (dumb and ignorant) opinion a fact, but: In The Name of God Trial of Tears Beneath The Surface Voices Just a completely random bunch of songs that popped into my head that wipe your point into oblivion with zero effort.
    Maiden95
    "Sudden burst of heat Burning source of life Masterful destruction Power's not an act It's understanding truth Changing my direction" "'Seize the Day' I heard him say Life will not always be this way Look around Hear the sounds Cherish your life While you're still around"
    purplecashew
    Well, what do you define "good" lyrics? There's a bit in one of their songs (Octavarium) that seems to make little sense but is actually quite clever. The lyrics are: "Sailing on the seven seize the day tripper diem's ready Jack the ripper owens wilson phillips and my supper's ready Lucy in the sky with diamond dave's not here I come to save the Day for nightmare cinema show me the way to get back home again" Some explanation i found on a forum: "- Sailing on the seven seize the day tripper, diem's ready ...sailing on the seven seas: OMD song ...seize the day: famous DT line from A Change of Seasons ...day tripper: Beatles song ...diem's ready: Carpe Diem from A Change of Seasons -Jack the ripper, Owen's Wilson Phillips and my supper's ready ...jack the ripper: Judas Priest song ...owen wilson: if you dont know this youre retarded ...phillips and my: not sure lol ...supper's ready: Genesis song -Lucy in the sky with diamond, Dave's not here ive come to save the day ...lucy in the sky with diamonds: Beatles song ...daves not here: Yes song -For nightmare cinema show me the way to get back home again ...nightmare cinema: antonym to Dream Theater, and also a joke band they made with Derek Sherinian (former DT keyboardist) ...home: Dream Theater song"
    perilio
    "Thats a fact" This isn't science man, there are no facts in art. Even thought there might be some occasional stinkers they do have great lyrics For example, the songs; Lines in the sand, scarred, silent man, wait for sleep, space dye vest, a change of season, voices, another day, hollow years, trial of tears and many more have excellent lyrics.
    MetalRock4ever
    This is the issue with nearly every single band in the world. No matter how many great songs you write (lyrically), there will always be a couple, or more, where the lyrics aren't up to the same standard. But hey, they are still human, they aren't machines built to make beautiful rhymes/lyrics, cut most of these musicians some slack
    evanfurillo
    In As I Am, I forget how it goes exactly but the one line ends with "justify you" then the next line ends with "just defy you". I always thought that was pretty clever.
    the_bi99man
    Your life must suck balls, to be so easily offended. I'm sorry. I'm not even going to flame you (even though you deserve it for such a laughably uninformed and ignorant comment) because your life is surely terrible enough as it is.
    peachesenregali
    Yea my life sucks...aside from everything about it. Even as a Dream Theater fan I can't take the lyrics seriously. They are so bad. 'Several years ago In a foreign town Far away from home I met the Count of Tuscany A young eccentric man Bred from royal blood Took me for a ride Across the open countryside Get into my car Let's go for a drive Along the way I'll be your guide Just step inside Maybe you recall A cannibal curator A character inspired by my brother's life Winding through the hills The city far behind On and on we drove Down narrow streets and dusty roads At last we came upon A picturesque estate On sprawling emerald fields An ancient world of times gone by Let me introduce My brother A bearded gentleman Historian Sucking on his pipe Distinguished accent Making me uptight No accident I want to stay alive Everything about this place Just doesn't feel right I I don't want to die Suddenly I'm frightened for my life I want to say goodbye This could be the last time You see me alive I- I may not survive Knew it from the moment we arrived Would you like to see Our secret holy place? I come here late at night To pray to him by candle light Then peering through the glass I saw with disbelief Still dressed in royal clothes The saint behind the altar History recalls During times of war Legend has been traced Back inside these castle walls Where soldiers came to hide In barrels filled with wine Never to escape These tombs of oak are where they died Down the cellar stairs I disappear Like the English heir The end is near Come and have a taste A rare vintage All the finest wines Improve with age I want to stay alive Everything about this place Just doesn't feel right I I don't want to die Suddenly I'm frightened for my life I want to say goodbye This could be the last time You see me alive I I may not survive Knew it from the moment we arrived Could this be the end? Is this the way I die? Sitting here alone No one by my side I don't understand I don't feel that I deserve this What did I do wrong? I just don't understand Give me one more chance Let me please explain It's all been circumstance I'll tell you once again You took me for a ride Promising a vast adventure Next thing that I know I'm frightened for my life Now wait a minute man That's not how it is You must be confused That isn't who I am Please don't be afraid I would never try to hurt you This is how we live Strange although it seems Please try to forgive The chapel and the saint The soldiers and the wine The fables and the tales All handed down through time Of course you're free to go Go and tell the world my story Tell about my brother Tell them about me The Count of Tuscany...' Maybe I should rephrase my original comment. John Petrucci is the worst lyricist in prog. James Labrie is the best lyricist in Dream Theater, but he's hardly Tom Waits.
    pjn7000
    Guys, relax. Its not worth arguing with someone uninformed enough to classify Dream Theater as "world music".
    third(-)eye
    I agree with you. Also one of the most annoying singers in metal.
    latinromans
    His voice is nasally at times but damn do I love near everything else about it, I feel even if it's not always pretty it's extremely expressive and shows a very delicate musical touch as well as packing a wallop when he needs it.
    Maiden95
    He sounded better than ever on the this tour too! One other thing I love about Labrie as a vocalist is his power to actually narrate a story in the song.. Not just sing the lyrics. Like in Octavarium or In the Presence of Enemies or Six Degrees, he really tells the story better than anyone else could.
    qrEE
    Can we have a list of "top ten tables in music" next? and have James Hetfield top the list?
    Rimfrost
    Not saying it isn´t stupid, but does "The Table" even count, he wasn´t supposed to sing it, i´m pretty sure he´s supposed to sing tablet, which would make sense in context. I´m going to suggest "Waggle your ass like a dog prostitute" instead, that´s the funniest line on the entire album :p.
    OllieSevenfold
    KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL! - All Within My Hands by Metallica.
    Democrab
    MY LIFESTYLE DETERMINES MY DEATH STYLE - Frantic LOVE IS A FOUR LETTER WORD! - The Day That Never Comes
    Sebo
    Considering his chronic alcohol abuse, the frantic lyrics make very much sense in my opinion.
    Shadow914
    Except that Kirk wrote the 'my lifestyle determines my death style" lyric, not James.
    JewishMilkman
    I feel like some people might be misunderstanding the whole "four letter word" thing.I know that where I'm from, the term "four letter word" is used as a euphemism for swear words like "****" and shit", much like somebody might say "the N word" or "the F word". The lyrics are in the context of a broken relationship between a father and son, so the idea of love being an obscene word in a home without love makes sense to me. Hetfield wasn't just pointing out that there are four letters in the word "love", so if that's what people think he was doing, I can understand why they'd think that the lyric is retarded.
    metallicaboeh
    Even I knew that! And English is not my mother tongue. If people don't even know what they're trolling about they should stop it. Didn't they ever realize most swearwords have four letters? (****, shit, crap, ****, ...)
    SleepFan
    Love is a four letter word! - "The Day That Never Comes" Yeah, you got it. This isn't just as dumb as Lulu, but it's from a fairly good songwriter like James. He just doesn't have any creativity when it comes to lyrical inspiration anymore.
    TheLiberation
    As much of a mess as St. Anger may be, All Within My Hands has to be one of the most genuinely passionate and pissed off songs they've made I think.
    OllieSevenfold
    I think the whole album is very emotionally driven, i just find that one part of the song hilarious sometimes ><
    N3WW4V3N1NJ4
    The table is there to prove that UG are not sitting working on the weekly question and are now relying on the top ten questions we said we wanted on April fools!
    Unf
    Call me what you will , but that's actually listenable
    Boomer904
    Everything in its Right Place - Radiohead "Yesterday I woke up suckin' a lemon" I know it's a metaphor or whatever, just bothers me.
    conorpatt
    Ok, so the worst lyric of all time is decided by the fact that it bothers you? Huh, you must feel a great sense of entitlement to the validity of your own opinion.
    phidias13
    Limp Bizkit - Nookie "I did it all for the nookie C'mon The nookie C'mon So you can take that cookie And stick it up your, yeah!! Stick it up your, yeah!!" Nothing to add.
    K33nbl4d3
    "I ****ing hate you, You're such a liar, I'd love to hang you, You're all the same to me." - I Fucking Hate You - Godsmack Inspiring stuff.
    KJP
    To be fair, anything by Godsmack could make the list. I'm pretty sure Sully just draws phrases out of a hat.
    K33nbl4d3
    I'll agree that little if any of their stuff is amazing lyrically - though I'm not the expert I was 6 years back - but that particular number's an easy one. Also one of the few I could remember from when I listened to them.