And not in a good way. We asked you to vote for which songs we'd be forced to listen to in hell. The result is a collection of the most unbearable songs ever. Be prepared.
Posted on Aug 31, 2012 03:41 pm
Last week we asked you to think about what songs you'd be forced to listen to in hell, and we don't mean in an awesome Slayer kind of way.
You didn't disappoint. Your nominations were suitably unbearable, and everyone who voted helped us separate the bad from the worst. The result is a selection of songs so awful that even Satan would have to stuff fireproof wool in his ears.
It was hilarious yet hard work trawling through them, but we think it's ultimately the best list of bad songs ever compiled.
If you're brave, read on to find out what songs UG readers think will be the most unbearable.
10. Justin Bieber "Baby"
The teen tycoon has racked up 774 million views on the official video for this song, but few things are worse than hearing it that many times by yourself for an eternity in hell.
9. Anything by Nickelback
We try to avoid joining the old trend of slamming Nickelback. Sure, their songs are generally so middle of the road that you wish a truck would come along and crush them, but a lot of people buy and love their music. We don't want to stamp on their fun.
But a bunch of you voted them onto this list, so we found this video slamming Nickelback for being the worst band ever.
The funny thing is, the people who made this video and link to their band Mirrorhouse at the end. After slamming Nickelback like that, it's only fair to post their song "Everything's Changed" for you to judge too, because it's arguably as bad as anything Nickelback have released.
8. Starship "We Built This City"
Besides sharing the ludicrous concept of building a city on anything other than concrete, Starship wrote what Rolling Stone have named as the worst song of the 1980s. It won with a margin so large that the magazine said it "could be the biggest blow-out victory in the history of the Rolling Stone Readers Poll". Despite this, the song isn't as bad as the group of middle-aged drunk karaoke singers who will accompany it and sing it out of key for a millennium.
7. Maroon 5 "Moves Like Jagger"
Oh dear God, this song is bad. Next please.
6. Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"
Rick Astley could never have predicted the phenomenon his song would eventually become when internet pranksters started using his video in a classic bait n' switch prank. It revived his career, and he still tours today - but we wouldn't want to hear his 80s anthem forever.
5. Lou Reed and Metallica "Lulu"
This was truly a match made in hell. Bumbling 1960s icon Lou Reed teamed up with Metallica, who evade their responsibility of making awesome metal and instead produced this turgid piece of poetic crap. The team involved were so ashamed that no one would take sole production credit, and it will forever remain one of metal's great "WTF?" moments.
4. One Direction cover Oasis "Wonderwall"
It sounds better than their regular pop music, but the thought of spending forever listening to these smiling berks could bore the teeth from my face.
3. Double Take "Hot Problems"
So bad that it can't be real. It's just so, so bad. I take back everything I said about "Lulu"; this is a genuine abomination.
2. Various Covers of Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
A lot of guitar stores banned Nirvana covers in the 1990s because it was so overplayed. YouTube reminds us how bad these covers can sound. It was too hard to pick one, so here's a series of awful "Smells Like Teen Spirit" covers to hear on repeat forever and ever.
And the worst one:
1. Lars Ulrich's Snare Hits From Metallica's "St Anger"
This scored twice as many votes as second place, making it far and away the most dreaded sound in UG history.
While searching for a solo version of the snare track, we found this comedy gem which is criminally under-viewed:
Lars Ulrich knows the snare sound on this album has become a joke, and he even joins in (albeit just to avoid being humiliated).
Can you think of a worse song? Let us know in the comments. Now excuse us while we go and sit in silence for a week.