10 Songs You'll Be Forced To Hear In Hell

And not in a good way. We asked you to vote for which songs we'd be forced to listen to in hell. The result is a collection of the most unbearable songs ever. Be prepared.

Ultimate Guitar

Last week we asked you to think about what songs you'd be forced to listen to in hell, and we don't mean in an awesome Slayer kind of way.

You didn't disappoint. Your nominations were suitably unbearable, and everyone who voted helped us separate the bad from the worst. The result is a selection of songs so awful that even Satan would have to stuff fireproof wool in his ears.

It was hilarious yet hard work trawling through them, but we think it's ultimately the best list of bad songs ever compiled.

If you're brave, read on to find out what songs UG readers think will be the most unbearable.

10. Justin Bieber "Baby"

The teen tycoon has racked up 774 million views on the official video for this song, but few things are worse than hearing it that many times by yourself for an eternity in hell.

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9. Anything by Nickelback

We try to avoid joining the old trend of slamming Nickelback. Sure, their songs are generally so middle of the road that you wish a truck would come along and crush them, but a lot of people buy and love their music. We don't want to stamp on their fun.

But a bunch of you voted them onto this list, so we found this video slamming Nickelback for being the worst band ever.

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The funny thing is, the people who made this video and link to their band Mirrorhouse at the end. After slamming Nickelback like that, it's only fair to post their song "Everything's Changed" for you to judge too, because it's arguably as bad as anything Nickelback have released.

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8. Starship "We Built This City"

Besides sharing the ludicrous concept of building a city on anything other than concrete, Starship wrote what Rolling Stone have named as the worst song of the 1980s. It won with a margin so large that the magazine said it "could be the biggest blow-out victory in the history of the Rolling Stone Readers Poll". Despite this, the song isn't as bad as the group of middle-aged drunk karaoke singers who will accompany it and sing it out of key for a millennium.

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7. Maroon 5 "Moves Like Jagger"

Oh dear God, this song is bad. Next please.

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6. Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"

Rick Astley could never have predicted the phenomenon his song would eventually become when internet pranksters started using his video in a classic bait n' switch prank. It revived his career, and he still tours today - but we wouldn't want to hear his 80s anthem forever.

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5. Lou Reed and Metallica "Lulu"

This was truly a match made in hell. Bumbling 1960s icon Lou Reed teamed up with Metallica, who evade their responsibility of making awesome metal and instead produced this turgid piece of poetic crap. The team involved were so ashamed that no one would take sole production credit, and it will forever remain one of metal's great "WTF?" moments.

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4. One Direction cover Oasis "Wonderwall"

It sounds better than their regular pop music, but the thought of spending forever listening to these smiling berks could bore the teeth from my face.

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3. Double Take "Hot Problems"

So bad that it can't be real. It's just so, so bad. I take back everything I said about "Lulu"; this is a genuine abomination.

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2. Various Covers of Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

A lot of guitar stores banned Nirvana covers in the 1990s because it was so overplayed. YouTube reminds us how bad these covers can sound. It was too hard to pick one, so here's a series of awful "Smells Like Teen Spirit" covers to hear on repeat forever and ever.

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And the worst one:

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1. Lars Ulrich's Snare Hits From Metallica's "St Anger"

This scored twice as many votes as second place, making it far and away the most dreaded sound in UG history.

While searching for a solo version of the snare track, we found this comedy gem which is criminally under-viewed:

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Lars Ulrich knows the snare sound on this album has become a joke, and he even joins in (albeit just to avoid being humiliated).

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Can you think of a worse song? Let us know in the comments. Now excuse us while we go and sit in silence for a week.

212 comments sorted by best / new / date

    "We try to avoid joining the old trend of slamming Nickelback." SLAM! Oh boy, I missed this word in an UG article!
    I'm sticking by what I said: You won't really hear a song. Just the sound of Guitar Center on the weekend during the holiday season. And all of the amps are permanently stuck on 10, 0, 10 with the volumes all set at "loudest" and the guitars will be even more out of tune than they normally are at GC. Every note that you play will be wrong and painfully noticeable, and everyone will laugh at you. Not out loud, but to themselves. And you know that they're all sitting behind you, silently judging. And even though they can barely BS their way through Stairway to Heaven and Sweet Child o' Mine, everyone of their poorly played riffs and licks are better than yours. That forever and ever and ever is what hell is like.
    Yeah, this is an agreeable list. weffa35a553b788jnrnfrgiiiii... Oh sorry, I just listened to Hot Problems for the first time.
    Wow, had avoided listening to that, but couldn't stand not knowing any longer. I need to go listen to some Meshuggah to burn that out....
    i believe even just the intro to bleed will allow us to forget all our pain...
    Don't Ask
    At the chorus, I stopped the video and started hyperventilating. I need to take a shower now.
    ah that's funny. don't know about the snare hits being number one though. funny, but, i don't MIND it. it could get annoying... good list, love the James pic.
    actually i love St. Anger album and it's snare... but the problem about Metallica is that they make songs too long! if the shortened every song on St. Anger, it would be hell of an album. Definitely not Metallica, but it'd be hell of an album!
    As an album, it could be a lot better, but it's not the worst. The snare hits however make me shudder.
    Ya, maybe if they shortened every song out of existence it'd improve...
    There's only one good song that has those snare hits like Lars in St. Anger, and that's "Crashing Foreign Cars" by Helmet. The song is incredibly short at 2:29. This song proves your point on what Metallica should have done in order to have a St. Anger become a successful song and album.
    Don't Ask
    I don't see the problem with long songs. I like the long stuff. And I think that St Anger is a good album. And I don't mind the snare. That's right. I said it. Bring on the downvotes!
    To this day I actually like the snare on that album... Wow that's the first time I've ever admitted that.
    "Bumbling 1960s icon Lou Reed" Fuck you, Lou Reed is the man. That being said, Lulu did suck...
    Veronique Vega
    Good list of horribly bad music. I still think 'Friday' by Rebecca Black outcraps everything on the list by a long ways. But the entire list is full of sonic hell.
    I would agree, if not for "Hot Problems." At least Rebecca Black was in key, even though it was due to being autotuned to hell.
    Veronique Vega
    Hot Crapblems has the advantage of being forgettable. Friday is (as sick as it makes me to admit it) catchy. Friday, friday, blah blah blah friday, nasally voice on friday....
    Hot Girls we have problems too, we're just like you, but we're hot I'm never forgetting that poetic gem
    I love the St Anger album. The snare drum makes it sound raw and agressive! Its different
    man, Scott Stapp may be a douche, but Tremonti is a great songwriter and guitarist, check out his new cd!
    Indeed, Creed/Stapp are TERRIBLE but Alter Bridge and Tremonti's solo effort are simply da blow up thingy!
    You can throw in the original version of wonderwall in there for good measure. As far as maroon 5 goes, payphone is even worse than moves like jagger.. in my opinion at least.
    sryy but WTF st agner is bad? its fkking awesome, its anger in a cd...
    Sorry, but the Miley Cyrus cover of SLTS is nowhere near as bad as any of the others on this list. I don't like her but that isn't to say there is musical talent behind all of what she is.
    ZOSO <(")
    i liked st.anger.....my girlfriend likes st. anger.... in fact ive never met anyone who didn't like st. anger.
    I like the snare sound on St. Anger Then again, Hell sounds like a badass metal place with lakes of fire and that Satan dude.
    Not exaggerating but as I was going down the list I was cringing at every title
    Yeah I don't mind the drumming in St. Anger at all. It really doesn't bother me. I'm really surprised though that Friday didn't make the list. Hot Problems did surpass it though in total crappiness though. Call Me Maybe should probably also be on there.
    well....of all the tean spirts there...mily syerus waz the best...but not nessicary for her vocal talents *AHEM*
    Who thought it would be a good idea to write a song like "Hot Problems", let alone release it for the public to hear? Checked.
    Well I can understand the problems those girls go through. What really appealed to me was the song's important social commentary.
    the chalky one
    Veronique Vega
    Cocaine: it's a hell of a drug.
    "We don't like to slam Nickelback" and then proceeds to slam Nickelback. The hate for this band is unbelievable and they definitely don't deserve this much.
    ANYTHING with Axl Rose in it!!!!!
    You ever heard of Guns and Roses?
    Well obviosly, that's why he said that have you e er heard him singing live? They invented autotune for axl only
    Well, only ever listened to the studio versions. And I REALLY would not mind to listen to them for all eternity...
    I can't stand to listen to the radio any more because of hoes like Nicki Minaj, and she's not on the list ? Stupid Hoe just deserves to be on the list !
    what about..i am a barbie girl,in the barbie world you read that an annoying woman's voice
    My God, that Smells Like Teen Spirit cover with the lack of bassist and girl frontman was just horrid. Just so bad wow. Just like the comments say; you're told to wait for the chorus, and you're like "ugh do I have to? really?" But seriously; wait for the chorus.
    Really? No Nicki Minaj? You should(n't) listen to "Stupid Hoe" by her. I'm not even sure if that's considered music.