Friday Fun: Ridiculous Metal Commercials

Who better to advertise your product than a drunk Slash, a mumbling Ozzy or a second-rate Bill & Ted?

Ultimate Guitar

Metal and advertising aren't exactly bedmates, but they've crossed over plenty of times - often to hilarious effect.

Some are predictably bad, many are poorly acted, and a couple are genuinely funny. Whatever you think of artists selling out, check out these videos to see the lighter side of heavy metal.

Warrant's Fans "Come First"

Warrant were a big hit in the early 90s until grunge pushed many hard rock bands out of the limelight. At the time, fans could call this 1-900 number to leave messages for the band and "find out what goes on behind tour bus doors." Singer Jani Lane died of alcohol poisoning in 2011, but the band have continued writing and performing with his replacement.

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Deaf Metal

This Norwegian ad for an advice line reminds us that you can never be too careful with speell chekcing.

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Dokken's Humping Fire Weapon

A typical Norton Antivirus ad is never going to make for interesting viewing - until you get Grammy-winning 80s metal act Dokken involved. Here, the chicken represents your hard drive, and Dokken play the role of a computer virus. Warning: may not reflect reality.

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Pat's Chili Dogs

Before they were famous, hair-metal act Cinderella did their friend Pat a big favour and promoted his Chili Dog chain. One member was a vegetarian - notice there's no meat in his hot dog.

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Skeletonwitch's Excellent Adventure

If yoo love Bill & Ted and bad scripting, you'll love this. Two members of Skeletonwitch used all their amateur acting power to promote Dave's Video, a local video rental store. Tip to Skeletonwitch: we could totally get behind a full YouTube series of this. Dave could be your Rufus.

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Ozzy: "What The F-k's A Bieber?"

Ozzy Osbourne and Justin Bieber team up in this not-so-hilarious mobile phone ad.

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It's not the first time Ozzy has appeared in a cellphone ad. Samsung played on his famously confusing accent in this:

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Drunk Slash is Drunk

It's not much of an overstatement to say Slash was drunk almost constantly for part of the 90s. He and Axl Rose (that slim dude is Axl, right?) signed up to promote Rip magazine, the "all-attitude, all-color, all-slick thrash, trash and mosh metal magazine." It's a wonder that a magazine with monthly recopies from Lita Ford's mom went out of business.

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56 comments sorted by best / new / date

    All of these are awesome, but where's Brent Hinds' Elmyr advert?
    This one isn't as good as the others because Judas Priest doesn't show up but it gave me a good laugh.
    RIP magazine lost cred instantly when they said they kept tabs on Bon Jovi...don't care what anyone says, Bon Jovi isn't ****ing metal!
    Haha Ozzy made me laugh every time. The "What the F**ks a Beiber" just made it with the line "He kinda looks like a girl"
    Oh my God... the Warrant one is absolutely hilarious. And I'm pretty sure my cousins (who were older than me and into all the hair bands of the 80s) have called that hotline.
    What about SHEPARDS PIE SHEEEEEPPAAARRDSSSSS PIIIIIE!? Can't have them all though =) Loved the article
    Those ozzy commercials never fail to crack me up. The second phone one (accent) is hilarious imo.