Metallica Makes Human Eggs More Fertile, Study Finds

Scientists have discovered that the bass in Metallica and Nirvana's deep music helps IVF eggs absorb more nutrients and become more fertile.

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Music by Metallica and Nirvana has been found to make IVF eggs more fertile, according to a new study.

Scientists researching the so-called "test tube baby" technique compared 1,000 fertilised eggs, with iPods playing a range of music to half of them, including tracks by Nirvana, Metallica, Michael Jackson and Mozart.

They discovered that eggs next to iPods had a five percent higher rate of fertilisation.

It is believed that vibrations from the music help the egg absorb nutrients and remove toxic waste, which improves their fertility, according to the Daily Mail.

"Embryos produced using IVF sit on a dish, stewing in their own juices but those produced naturally are wafted down the fallopian tubes, rocking and rolling all their way to the uterus," said fertility expert Dr. Dagan Wells. "This movement means that the embryo experiences a very dynamic environment, which may have some advantages, particularly in terms of getting rid of waste products. The vibrations caused by music may stimulate this effect.

"One might speculate that techno music, with its pounding bass beat, might do the best job of all," he added.

We'd suggest something by Kyuss or early Queens of the Stone Age, but that's for science to test.

34 comments sorted by best / new / date

    Pounding bass beat? I'm guessing they weren't playing the Justice album.
    This seems like a weak attempt to shoehorn Metallica onto the news pages of UG again.
    well, if the bass is whats causing the fertilization, they best not play And Justice For All for them.
    OK I got to post my experience. I did get a girl knocked up while having sex to Death Magnetic. (During the song End of the Line I beat that ass up at the slave becomes the master part.)
    Didn't get her knocked up, but I had sex to Ashes of the Wake by Lamb of God.
    I wonder what would happen if you have sex to the double bass part of Angel of Death..
    Meanwhile, scientists also discovered that Metallica is still the only metal band they could think of for the experiment.
    Since when is there audible bass in Metallica songs?
    Bass frequency and bass guitar are two different things. And all Metallica albums have bass frequencies (all music has bass frequencies). You don't need clearly audible bass guitar to have lots of bass frequencies.
    Interesting, but who tests for this kind of hypothesis in the first place? EDIT: not sure why it posted twice.
    I wish I could get paid to write meaningless articles about utter bullshit with misleading titles....
    As long as the baby doesn't come out like Lars, that being a penny pinching, real life troll, I guess cool story.
    this brought to you by the department of scientists who have too much time on their hands, by Dr. whydoesnoonetake myresearchseriously?!
    thats why these bitches keep calling me saying they pregnant...they know damn well i shoot blanks!