Petition Calls For New U.S. National Anthem... By R Kelly

Would you rise for "Ignition (Remix)"?

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A petition has been started online for a change in the U.S. National Anthem. Specifically, the undersigned are calling for R Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" to become the nation's new song. The full petition reads as follows:

"We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it's the afterparty, and that after the party, it's the hotel lobby, and - perhaps most importantly - that 'round about four, you've got to clear the lobby, at which point it's strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become."

You can view the petition at the following location.

If you have any suggestions for a new National Anthem, then let us know in the comments below.

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46 comments sorted by best / new / date

    "Now please rise, and remove your hats, as we honor America with the singing of Trapped in a Closet parts 1-6"
    I think if the national is to be changed (not saying it should be) it would have to be jimis rendition of the star spangled banner at Woodstock. Just saying.
    No national anthem should ever contain the lyrics "now I'm all up in yo grill".
    I think every national anthem should at least have some variation of the phrase "now I'm all up in yo grill".
    i think that particular phrase suits america quite well, you know, with the whole spreading democracy one invasion at a time thing.....just saying
    All the capital punishment states like Texas could have "I Believe You Can Fry"
    Forgive my ignorance but who is that on your avatar dude? It's kind of mesmerising
    The almighty Stoya, mate. If you feel like paying Pornhub a visit, there's also her porn right-arm, Sasha Grey, but she likes licking toilets and etc.
    True American Hate would be a sick anthem. Also, is that picture at the top of the article Kevin Hart?
    I also think R. Kelly needs a break, I mean have you seen his documentary called Trapped in a Closet?!?!?!?!?!??!
    up to I looked at the receipt which had said $7424, I did not believe friends brother woz like actually earning money in their spare time from there labtop.. there friend brother started doing this for under seventeen months and a short time ago took care of the morgage on their apartment and got a great new Jaguar XJ. I went here,
    Really? Keep it the same. This is just someone wanting attention for nothing.
    you know if they get enough signatures from people living abroad, pretending to live in the states this might just happen...
    If this happens no ifs ands or buts about it I will leave this country and have no plans on ever returning.
    W.....T.....F???? "after the show, it's the afterparty, and that after the party, it's the hotel lobby"..... Isn't this a Lyric from "The Lonely Island - After Party"??
    Yeah, what captain_blood said... The Lonely Island being a parody group probably took it from Ignition (remix) deliberately. Good spot though!
    This is so crazy it might actually work. At least you can dance to the National Anthem.
    The cool thing would be that MOST (not all) people would instantly be happy when the national anthem starts playing because this song is like's hard to be sad when it's around you
    there's only one song ever made that is capable of being the next US National anthem, or even world anthem...
    So what does he plan to do with the royalties of every time the "new" national anthem is sung before just about every commercial sporting event?