No Pads, No Helmets... Just Balls review by Simple Plan

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  • Released: Mar 19, 2002
  • Sound: 1
  • Lyrics: 1
  • Overall Impression: 1
  • Reviewer's score: 1 Junky
  • Users' score: 4.9 (52 votes)
Simple Plan: No Pads, No Helmets... Just Balls

Sound — 1
Simple Plan: a band whose plan was to simply be the next big punk band. And it worked for a while. The album No Helmets... was a huge hit and a few of the songs on the album became big radio-friendly hits. But the hot topic question remains: does this make the album any good? Quite, The overall sound sounds as if the Ramones met the Backstreet Boys and somehow merged their music, which does sound like a bold and ballsy move on paper. Hearing it is a different story; it sounds more like a complete mess with the traditional three-chord formula gone horribly wrong. There are times where the guitars sound hard and heavy during songs lime "Perfect", but in the end sound more like something heard from rehearsal sessions than actual recorded music. Other times, the album will be over-the-top poppy, such as in the intro for "Addicted", which sounds more like a strange wannabe "Sweet Child O' Mine".

Lyrics — 1
Now normally with a bad album, it is the overall sound that is the worst part. But to my surprise, it's not. The lyrics are definitely the worst part with their whiny, over-the-top, nobody-likes-me attitude that sound better on some angst-ridden high school student's diary. And to top it all off, the lead singer's vocals are just plain horrendous. Forget Chad Kroeger or Sanjaya; Pierre Bouvier is one of the worst singers of all time. Period.

Overall Impression — 1
I don't have much to say about this album, but that's the "beauty" of it; there's not much on this album to talk about and the most basic things on any rock record are screwed up beyond belief. In fact, I have to give this album the honor of being the worst album of all time. Worse than Fall Out Boy's Infinity On High, worse than Nickelback's Silver Side Up, and worse than anything Ringo Starr has ever made.

1 comment sorted by best / new / date

    They're faux-punk. They're punk light. There're the diet cola of punk. One calorie, not punk enough.